Just One of the Guys
by MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear
Summary: Blair Hunter is far from average. Everything from her funky hair to her well-worn Chucks screams ODD! But when a favor to a friend lands her in an all-boys boarding school, things get just plain weird. A few new friends might be able to help. Que MCR!
1. Can I Ask You a Favor?

A/N: Hey there. This dream I had turned into a story like most author's dreams do. My dream, however, involved me going on a treasure hunt as well, but I REALLY don't see how I'm gonna fit that in here. LOL. So yeah...this is gonna have the guys of MCR in here. I didn't exactly know where to catagorize this story, but I just put it in as best as I could. You don't have to like MCR to read this, but it might make the story a little more...interesting, or something.

Also...I can't believe Bob left the band! :( So long. Imma miss you fierce!

* * *

**Chapter 1: Can I Ask You a Favor?**

**Blair's POV**

"Paranoia is in bloom. The PR transmissions will resume. They'll try to push you drugs and keep you all dumbed down. And hope that we will never see the truth around!" I sang along as my favorite band belted out their anger at our global financial crisis. Nothing like some Muse in the morning to wake me up. "Another promise, another scene. Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed. With all the green belts wrapped around our minds. And endless red tape to keep the truth confined."

"Blair! Will you shut up for a minute?! I can't hear myself think!" My little brother, Chris, burst angrily into my room, his ten-year-old, pudgy cheeks red with frustration. I groaned exasperatedly and flicked my CD player off, listening to the music die abruptly. Chris would never understand the power of Muse. I ruffled his light brown hair, and only grinned when he slapped my hand away. "You sound like a dying animal." he complained noisily, patting his ruffed hair back into place.

"And you..." I retorted, hopping over my pile of art supplies on the ground, "sound like an annoying little brother." He stuck his tongue out at me before lunging to my nightstand and grabbing my ipod. "Hey!" I excalimed, dashing across my messy floor as I heard his footsteps thump down the stairs. I saw his pajama clad form skid around the corner and into the kitchen, and quickly made the turn, myself. "Chris, give that back!" I shouted, coming face to face with him across our kitchen table. He stood at one end, and I positioned myself at the other, glaring at him as he grinned cheekily.

"I am going to kill you..." I said through gritted teeth. Suddenly, my bustling mother entered the kitchen.

"What are you two fighting about, now?" she asked calmly, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a carton of eggs.

"He took my ipod!" I wasted no time ratting my little brother out. My mother remained cool as a cucumber.

"And, what did you do to make him take your ipod?" she asked me pointedly, cracking some eggs in a bowl and beginning to whisk them until the mixture turned bright yellow.

"She was up there screaming like Miley Cyrus!" Chris whined, pointing frantically at me in an attempt to dramatize the scene a little more.

"Hold on!" I interrupted. "I think I like the dying animal analogy better. At least I had **some** level of dignity before." My mother tried to hide her smirk behind a box of Bisquick, but I didn't miss anything. Finally, she spoke, her back turned to us as she searched for something in the corner cupboard.

"Blair...turn your music down, and try to refrain from 'singing like a dying animal'. Chris...quit whining and give your sister back her ipod." She finally unearthed a package of chocolate chips and turned to dump some into the pancake batter she had started to prepare during our argument. My brother continued to mumble under his breath, but handed the purple device over. I hugged it to my chest like some obsessed person, and skipped over to the pancake bowl, dipping my finger in.

"Mmmm...chocolate chip pancakes." I said, closing my eyes in ecstacy. My mother ruined my fun by slapping the backs of my hands with her spatula. I frowned. "Jeese, Mom. Way to kill the moment." She only blew me a kiss, which I purposely failed to return. Only to annoy her, I wasn't really mad, and she knew it. I wandered into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

In my opinion, I always look like I just came home from a raging party when I wake up in the morning. My multicolored hair stuck up in all directions, dark circles under my light brown eyes, even the way my nose twitched slightly every now and then. I ran a brush through my light brown, yellow and bright pink rat's nest until it looked messy, but at least presentable. Then I did my daily makeup routine. Concealer, liner, mascara, clear lip gloss. Hmm...which eyeshadow shall I pick today? I decided on none, and then changed my double labret piercings from bright green to black.

Now presenting...Blair Hunter! In all her wonder and glory. I gave a twirl in front of my mirror, and shook my head. It was only, like, noon and I was already psycho. I was already dressed, so I didn't have to worry about that. A black t-shirt with neon boom boxes covering the front, black skinny jeans, and I planned to wear my favorite pair of chunky black boots. And, of course, I couldn't forget my lucky paperclip bracelet.

"Blair, you almost finished in there? Breakfast...er...lunch, I guess, is finished." My mother was calling from her position at the stove as she flipped the delicious pancakes. I quickly grabbed a stack of, like, five and drowned them all in maple syrup.

"No...help us..." I narrarated for the pancakes as they became consumed in the sugary substance. "No! Blair, save us." I stabbed them roughly with my fork, giving a short, evil laugh. "Haha." I shoved a forkfull into my mouth, and then glanced up, realizing my family was staring at me like I was insane or something. What? You never seen someone commentate while eating their pancakes before? What has our world become? I continued to devour the delicious hot cakes until I felt like my stomach was about to burst.

I looked down waiting to see a potbelly from the way I ate all day, but my stomach somehow remained flat no matter what I ate. I am **really** surprised I don't weigh, like, Fat Albert status by now. All I do all day is eat, and watch movies, and listen to music. Ahh, well... I shoved another bunch of pancake into my mouth and chewed hungrily. My mom soon sat down, and now we were eating moderately like a family. Me, my brother, and my mother. Let's go get a camera and remember the happy moment! Click!

Where was the father figure in this all-american family? Let me explain quickly so we can get on with the story. My father was a douche bag who left my mom to fend for herself when I was five so he could run off with some hot Spanish bitch. His name was Damen. We all think he's a dick! And they all lived happily ever after. Yay!

Breakfast continued as a peacefull affair, the air filled with the scent of pancakes and the sound of fork against plate. Until....

"Play that funky music, white boy! Play that funky music right! Play that funky music white boy! Lay down the boogie and play that funky music 'till ya die!" My mom looked over at me, her eyebrows raised impossibly high as the music blared from my pocketed cell phone.

"Do I want to know?" she asked, taking a bite of pancake. I tried to swallow a particularily large mouthfull as the music played on.

"Devon." I said finally, grabbing my phone and flicking it open. "Hello?"

"Blair!!!!" Devon, one of my best friends, said excitedly on the other line.

"Devon!" I mimicked back, getting up from the table and walking into the entry way to talk in private. He started to giggle erratically. I sighed. I loved Devon to death, but he was just so hyper. "What are you doing?" I asked, listening to him crack up.

"Oh, nothing. I just woke up." I raised my eye brows. It sounded like he was on a sugar high. I tried to imagine hyperactive Devon with his insanely messy brown hair and black eyes, doing nothing. It was something that **just didn't happen**. Suddenly, I heard a voice in the background on Devon's end.

"Devon! Are you almost finished?! I found the stuff!" The voice was deep, unfamiliar, and not necessarily unexpected, knowing Devon.

"God, Devon, you're such a whore." I said playfully into the reciever, only to get a giggle in return. Did I mention that Devon was gay? Well...he is. And let's just say, he's had no shortage of lovers, that's for sure. "What's his name this time?" I asked, flinging myself back onto the stairs so I could sit.

"Cameron, and he's very sexy, but I have something to tell you!" He relayed this information so fast that I almost couldn't make out what he was saying. I waited for him to continue. "I had a dream--" He was cut off with a sudden burst of laughter. I just waited patiently, being used to him getting hyper like this. He stopped and took a deep breath. "Okay...I had a dream that you were...you were obese!" And he was ravaged by another attack of laughter. I was puzzled for a minute.

"You called me to tell me you had a dream that I was obscenely overweight? That's not very nice." I playfully pouted, picking at my chipping neon green nail polish.

"No, it's just...you? Overweight?!" He continued to laugh, and I just rolled my eyes. "And...you were so obese...that you died!" I groaned. This was really mean. Dying of obesity wasn't funny. Yet...I found myself trying not to laugh. God, I was such a hypocrite.

"Goodbye, Devon." I said, moving to shut my phone.

"No wait!" And he was suddenly calm, as if by magic. I groaned. I just wanted to eat my pancakes! "Wanna go to Dairy Queen later?" The Dairy Queen parking lot had been me and my friend's hang out all summer. Easy access to ice cream and a bathroom, and usually no one shouted rude things out their car windows at us there, because their minds were preoccupied with the delicious ice cream.

"Sure, why not." I said. It's not like I had anything better to do. Abruptly, Devon sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just can't believe it's only a week and a half until summer break is over." That sentence hit me like a slap in the face. I ran to check the calendar. "Let me guess...you just made a frantic dash to look at the calendar? I did the same thing when Cameron brought it up." I didn't respond, for sure enough, it was August 23th. We got back to school on the 2nd. I couldn't believe it. days? That was it? Where had those sacred three months gone? Devon allowed me a minute or two to stomach the news. Finally, he spoke again. "So...we still on for Dairy Queen?" I snapped out of my school-induced stupor to respond.

"Yeah...what time do you think you'll be...decent?" I asked, being very implied. He giggled again, and told me he'd pick me up at five when the sun turned orangey and made sitting in the lot all the more fun. I loved riding in Devon's truck, 'cause he had a flatbed and he sometime's let me ride in the bed. We hung up, and I wandered back to the table, finding my pancakes to be cold and yucky. I fed the rest of them to our dog, Ringo, and proceeded to watch him devour them. Yes...our dog was named after the forgotten Beatle. Get over it.

Then our house phone started to ring, the shrill sound startling Ringo and making him run for cover. I chuckled. My poor dog was such a coward. I think it was because our ginger cat, Pumpkin, was so mean to him. They routinely got into fights. And by fights, I mean Pumpkin kicked Ringo's ass and then ate his food. I don't know...I just don't know. Suddenly, the phone was under my nose.

"For you." hissed my mother, motioning for me to take it. I grabbed the device from her hands and held it up to my mouth.

"Hello?" I wondered who it was. No one ever called for me on my home phone. Everyone just used my cell number.

"Is this Blair Hunter?" a deep voice boomed over the line. I was puzzled. They sounded totally unfamiliar.

"Yeah..." I climbed up off the floor and leaned against my kitchen counter, wondering what was up. He sounded big and menacing. Like...government type. I gulped and tried to remember anything illegal I had done in the last few weeks. Can they arrest you for sneaking into an R rated movie? I was only one year short of being able to get into one!

"Is your refrigerator running?" the voice boomed again. I groaned.

"Maggie!" I heard my best friend start laughing on the other end. "I swear...I'm going to hang up."

"Oh come on, don't be a bitch." Maggie said jokingly. "You know I love you." I could dimly hear the song Lisztomania by Phoenix playing in the background.

"I thought you hated that song." I said. I had shown her the song the other day, and she had immediately declared her dislike for it. Of course...she did that with every song I showed her, and then, a few days later, she couldn't stop listening to it. That was how she had been introduced to her favorite band, The Distillers. Maggie was one of the weirdest people I knew. And I loved her to bits!

"Ehh...it's starting to grow on me. Hey, listen...I'm coming over to your house." I didn't even say anything. I was used to Maggie inviting herself over. Her parents were never home on account of constant business trips, and she was an only child. Must get kinda lonely. She hadn't dated anyone since the first grade, either. Not that my love life was remarkable, or anything. "What's your mom making for breakfast-lunch?" This is what we called my mom's wacked up cooking schedual. She cooked 'breakfast' around noon, and then made dinner around eightish.

"I'll save you some chocolate chip pancakes." I told her, saving the remaining three pancakes from my brother, who had been reaching across the table to grab them. He stuck his tongue out at me, and I fought the urge to flip him off. Today **is** Sunday, after all. Ahh...who am I kidding. I swiftly raised my middle finger, supressing laughter at Chris' confused expression. So young...so innocent. "When are you getting here, anyways?" I asked. Suddenly, I heard the front door bang open.

"I'm home!" I heard Maggie in the front hall. I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone, running out to meet her. Maggie was pretty. She had shoulder-length wavy, bright orangish-red hair, and icy blue eyes that caught everyone's attention. She wasn't bone thin like I was, but she was far from fat, with curves in all the right places. In other words...Maggie was hot.

I jumped ontop of her in a huge hug, my legs coming around her waist. When I jumped down, I studied her outfit. Maggie like to dress like she'd just walked off the set of a punk rock music video. She had her black bombers jacket thrown on over a black Ramones tank top, and black jean shorts with black and red striped tights underneath. And of course, her black Chucks.

"Darling, so good to see you again." she said in a fake English accent, kissing my cheek and giving a deep curtsey. She suddenly snapped upward. "Now where be my chocolate chip pancakes?" And with that, she strutted towards the kitchen, careful to track dirt on every inch of hardwood we owned.

"Hello, Maggie." My mother said good-naturedly, not bothering to look up from her Good Housekeeping magazine.

"Hey Mrs. H. How's it going?" Maggie asked energetically, helping herself to the pancakes and syrup. My mother had already layed out an extra plate and fork for her. She knew us so well. My mother simply nodded and returned to her article. My brother had somehow miraculously disappeared. After awhile, I got bored of watching her shoveling pancakes into her mouth and whipped out my phone to take a surprise picture of her. I laughed as I captured her in mid-bite, her eyes slightly bugging as she stared at her fork. I snorted.

"It's high time I had some blackmail of you. Now go clean my room, or I send this to every hot guy in school." Before I knew it, I had a face full of pancakes. Maggie giggled.

"Sneak attack for the pancake bomber! Maggie wins!" She got up and did a little happy dance before clearing her spot. I tried to chuck an orange at her, but missed. "Haha...epic fail!" Maggie gloated. My mom finally looked up from her article.

"Try not to throw **too** much citrus fruit, okay, girls?" Maggie suddenly dashed upstairs, and I was forced to drag my lazy ass up after her. When I finally got to the top of the stairs, Maggie had unearthed my mix CD from, like, two years ago, and popped it into the player. I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts blared out the speakers. She jumped ontop of my bed and started to sing along. Her voice sounded remarkably like Joan's, whose voice I loved. I however, got to rock out the guitar parts with the yardstick randomly under my bed, and **nothing** can beat that. The song ended and Aha's Take On Me started playing, so we turned it down a little so that we could talk.

"Hey...Devon called earlier. We're going to Dairy Queen at five. You wanna come?" I asked hopefully. I loved doing stuff with Devon alone sometimes, but this was one of those things that just wasn't the same if the whole gang wasn't there.

"Of course. When have I ever said no to friends and Dairy Queen? And it'll give me a chance to work on my opening article for the school newspaper. 'The Meat Industry's Control Over Fast Food Companies: A Cry For Help' by Margarette Wheeler." She used hand gestures to make it more dramatic. I sighed. Maggie was a devoute vegetarian and was convinced that everyone else wanted to be one too, they were just being pushed by the evil meat industry she was always rambling about.

She suddenly hopped up from the bed and sprang over to my window. "C'mon. Let's go out on the roof. It's cool out today, and besides...I need a smoke." I groaned and followed. Maggie absolutely loved three things. Her friends, the summer, and smoking. And while I sound like the announcer for Miss America, she also enjoys music, being a journalist, long walks on the beach, and bashing the meat industry. I took my place beside her on my grainy roof, and layed back to watch the clouds. She lit up and then did the same. We both put on our kick-ass big sunglasses and spent the next half hour or so picking out cloud shapes like seven year olds.

I found a puppy, two fish, and an elf. Maggie found our principal getting struck by lightning. Hmmm...I wonder what was on her mind?

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed with ease. We did stupid things like burned last year's math book in my garage. This was a yearly ritual we had carried out since the seventh grade. We also lit a barbie on fire just for the hell of it. Then we watched The Breakfast Club, and, out of burning curiosity, **had** to test out the crazy chick's Pixie Stix and Cap N' Crunch sandwhich. The rest of the time we played Mario Kart on my humble game cube.

"Yeah...that's right, Bowser! Suck my mushroom!" I cried as I nabbed a speed mushroom from the middle of the track. Maggie and I had nicknamed them vroom vroom shrooms. She groaned as I took first place, something I rarely did. Today must be my luck day. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Glancing at the clock, I realized it 5:10 already. Wow...it's easy to waste the day doing mindless shit, isn't it? We dashed to the door, and both jumped ontop of Devon before he even realized what was happening to him. Being surprisingly strong for a skinny guy like him, he managed to carry us both inside before dropping us at the foot of the stairs.

"Devon..." Maggie joked, running up and examining his arm. "Have you been working out?" She punched his shoulder and then skipped off to my bathroom to redo her eyeliner. Both me and Devon (yes, DEVON wears guyliner sometimes) followed suit. Maggie is obsessed with her eyeliner. We had to drag her away from the mirror before she would respond to us remotely.

"Mom! We're going to Dairy Queen!" I called as Devon pulled me toward the door, eager to get his ice cream.

"Again?" she asked coming to where I was being pulled. I gripped the edge of the wall as he tugged harder.

"You betcha. We only have six more days, and we'll never be able to go to Dairy Queen again....without homework." I tacked on, because I knew we would never be able to give up our Dairy Queen routine completely. My mom grinned and then told us to go on. I escaped Devon's grip and ran to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Back by eleven!" she called, rounding the corner. Devon finally swung me up over his shoulder in his impatience. Maggie held the door open for him as we stepped outside, and of course...just couldn't pass up this opportunity to slap my ass.

"Ow..." she said after the impact. "Even your ass is bony." I just laughed. Maybe now she'd think twice before invading my bubble. Awww, who am I kidding. This is **Maggie **we're talking about, here. I suddenly became aware that my elderly neighbors were watching us from their porch. Staring open mouthed with looks of dissappointment. I suppose this looked sort of odd. Me slung over Devon's shoulder, and Maggie spanking me. Haha. Pis-sing off society is fun!

"Can I ride in the back?" I begged as we neared the truck. When Devon didn't respond, I pinched his side until he let out a yelp.

"Dammit, Blair!" he said loudly, raising astonished looks on the old couple's faces. I giggled accordingly.

"Please?!" Without warning, he tossed me into the bed, and started to laugh. "Bitch..." I mumbled under my breath, rubbing my sore back. Maggie jumped up into the bed with me.

"Hey, Devon, open up this little window thingy so we can hear the music." she called around to the front. The little window into the truck was soon thrown open, and when Devon started up the truck, we could hear....

"Oh God, Devon! Not this again!" I whined through the window as he pulled out of the driveway. Devon had been listening to nothing but the song Colors by The Rocket Summer for the past several days. It was getting to be ridiculous.

"Oh come on, it's a good song." He defended the song promptly, causing us to groan again.

"It is a good song." said Maggie. "But not when you listen to it a thousand times a day."

"Well...Blair's obsessed with Muse." he said, sounding a little hurt. I thought for a minute.

"That may be true, but they're not **all** I listen to."

"What about that one time...when you were constantly listening to that one song by...Skillet. What was it called? Monster...you listened to that all day long." Devon just kept on rolling out excuses to make his obsession seem less severe.

"That..." I informed him, "Was for, like, two days. Not a week. There is a difference."

"Yeah!" yelled Maggie, poking her head into the car through the window. "Now change the song, Devon, I'm warning you, or I will crawl through this tiny window and strangle you with my bare hands until you put something else on." It's always best to comply to whatever Maggie wants you to do when she's threatening you, 'cause you never know what she feels up to that day. So Devon reluctantly took the CD out and turned up the volume on the radio.

"'Cause I'm a vegetarian, and I ain't fuc-king scared of him!" suddenly blasted out the speakers. Me and Maggie squealed and jumped to our feet, because we were stopped at a red light for the moment. "Don't trust a ho! Never trust ho! Don't trust a ho! 'Cause the ho won't trust me!" We sang along with the song, ignoring the stares we got from several of the drivers also waiting at the light.

"Sit down, it's gonna turn green!" Devon called from the front, and sure enough the light suddenly glowed bright green, and we shot forward, sending both of us toppling to the bottom of the bed. Maggie ended up ontop of me. "You guys okay?!" we heard from the front again. We were laughing too hard to respond. Truth be told, we loved it when that happened. "You guys are gonna get me in so much trouble. Sit down." Maggie crawled to the window and poked her head in.

"Devon, take The Backroad." she all but commanded as we flew down the main road towards Dairy Queen. He must have shaken his head, 'cause she was now begging. "Please? Come on...once more for the summer? For old time's sake? We love you?" We veered off on a sudden left towards The Backroad, so Maggie must have won the argument. (Surprise, surprise.)

The Backroad was an old, dirt road left over from 'prehistoric' times when people used those. No one ever took The Backroad anymore, so we took advantage of that, using it to play The Start, Stop game. Maggie gave an excited giggle as we pulled up at the beginning of The Backroad, and grabbed my hands, pulling me up and to the middle of the bed. We gripped tightly onto eachother's forearms, and planted our feet as the car came to a stop.

"You guys ready?" Devon asked, turning to see that we were in position. "Okay...hang...on tight!" And with that, he shot forward. We both lurched, but managed to stay on our feet. About ten seconds later, he slammed on the brakes. We lurched backwards, and I almost fell over, but Maggie pulled me upright again as Devon sped onward again. This time, only about a four second period passed until he hit the breaks. We crashed to the floor in a fit of laughter. Devon joined in on the crack up, pulling back onto the main road and cruising along to the now visible Dairy Queen.

He swiftly pulled into the lot and took our usual parking space closest to the door, parking like a blind man as always. We hopped out of the bed an raced to be the first to the door. The Dairy Queen people (who sadly knew us all by name) were waiting for us, and we quickly ordered our usuals. I got a medium Oreo blizzard, Maggie got a medium chocolate, chocolate dipped cone, and Devon got a large cookie dough blizzard. After we paid, we dashed outside to claim our usual spot in the forgotten corner of the lot by the air vent where all the cool air was blasted down onto us. Yay!

Maggie lit a cigarette like she always does and took a long drag before exhaling and taking a bite of her ice cream. I sighed, wishing that these days would never end. They were the best! But it would all be over in a few short days, and I would be stuck back in that penitentiary they called our highschool. At least these guys would be there with me. At least I had that. We stole bites of eachothers treats in silence, just enjoying eachother's company. Eventually I pulled my ipod out and turned on some Green Day album I had on there. I leaned my head on Maggie's shoulder, and she leand hers ontop of mine. I pulled Devon over and we started to play with his hair. All in all, we ended up giving him a princess Leia 'do, braids, pigtails, and finally settled on a japanese bun. School only comes along to end the summer, I think.

Suddenly, Maggie was on her feet and pacing, long having finished her ice cream. I just watched her shuffle along while I helped Devon fix his hair back to normal. After a few minutes, I finally decided to ask what was on her mind. "Maggie, are you okay?" She stopped pacing and suddenly came to sit cross-legged in front of us.

"Guys...I have a major problem." she said, bringing her hand up to the tips of her orangey hair and tugging like she always did when she was thinking. Both me and Devon leaned in dramatically like in all the movies. Maggie looked uncharacteristically apprehensive. Her dilemas were usually far and few between; often minor and not entirely uneasy to resolve. "You see...I kinda...well, you know how I'm a major procrastinator?" Me and Devon just looked at eachother. Among many wonderful qualities that Maggie possesed, organization and a get-to-it attitude were not included.

"Well...the think is...I sunk this major article towards the end of last year on the dangers of walking home alone after that girl went missing. Totally bommed it. And it...well, kinda maybe almost cost me my job on the paper." She started to wince towards the end of the sentence, as though afraid one of us would lash out and hit her when we heard the news. This came as no surprise, though. We were used to Maggie's bad habit of putting things off to last minute getting her into sticky situations. She was notorious for it.

"And, this is news to us because?" Devon prompted her after a moment of silence. Maggie huffed impatiently. She preferred to get anything opinionated down on paper and into print. She said it was the only way she could think correctly.

"Well, I **really **love being a journalist, so I told Mr. Karinger that I'd do this major, major piece for the opening paper. And well..." she trailed off, her vision skimping to her Chucks. I sighed.

"Let me guess...you haven't even started it yet." She glanced up at me, a blush forming across her cheeks. "I still don't see where this is going." I said, wondering why we should be terribly concerned about it. Did she want help writing the article? Want us to fake that she had moved to another country so she **didn't have **to write it?

"Well, that too. But, you see, the thing is...I **can't** write it yet. Like...I don't have the right resources." I was still confused.

"Well, what's it on?" asked Devon, keen to get right to the point.

"It's going to be titled 'St. James Academy for Boys Exposed: The Fraud Behind the Reputation' by Margarette Wheeler." Again with the dramatic hand gestures. I frowned.

"Wait...I thought you were doing the whole...meat industry boycott thing again." I pressed for more information. She shrugged a classic Maggie shrug before adding:

"That's just a side article. **This**...on the other hand...**this** is front page news right here." I rose my eyebrows.

"What exactly **is** the...um...fraud behind the reputation?" Devon asked, fiddling with his too-long locks. Maggie grinned broadly

"Well, I have this theory..." We both groaned. Maggie had more theory's than a room full of conspiracy theorists. " I have this theory...That St. James secretly raises their school's final exam scores so that they get a better reputation. And when you have a better reputation...the money rolls in like there's no tomorrow."

"Okay..." I said, struggling to understand what exactly she was getting at. "And you have proof of this how?" Her whole face lit up when I said this, and she jumped to her feet in excitement.

"Well...I was at my dad's office a week or two before school let out, just waiting for him to finish up some last minute stuff, and I **really **had to go to the bathroom. So I ran down the hall, and to get to the bathroom, you have to go past a couple offices. In one of 'um, the headmaster of St. Jame's himself was there." She grinned broadly, obviously proud of herself.

"And, of course, I couldn't just not see what was going on, so I just peeked in a little bit, and you'll never guess what I saw!" She didn't even give us time to phrase an idea before she blurted out what happened. "I only caught the end of it, but from what I gathered, the headmaster guy is **paying **their little 'inside man' to get ahold of the test scores before they're officially filed, and raise them." By the time she finished, it felt like my eyebrows must have flown off my head, they were raised so high. This sounded like something out of an FBI movie, except, if that were the case, Maggie would have really huge boobs, I would be a computer geek, and Devon would evidently have a mullet.

"Maggie...you're writing for the school newspaper, not the New York Times." Devon cautioned her. Maggie only glared in his direction.

"An article can be an amazing piece of writing whether it be on the front cover or the last page." I could see her fiery temper flaring up, and quickly came up with something to say before the pot boiled over, so to speak.

"Alright...so say they **are** raising the test scores. I don't get it...what do we have to do with this?" I asked, snapping the shiny red plastic spoon that had come with my blizzard. I snapped little bits off at a time, and chucked them at the wall, listening to the tinkery sound they made when they collided with the metal of the frame.

"You see...this is where I need the favor. I was thinking...in order to get the information I need to prove this...I'm going to need an inside source. You know...someone who could get inside the school and then feed me information from the inside." Me and Devon exchanged another look.

"You're asking us to break into some pansy school and somehow prove that this headmaster dude is raising his kid's test scores?" Devon questioned in awe. Maggie smirked.

"First of all...I don't think you're at liberty to call **anybody **a pansy, mister. Secondly, I was thinking more along the lines of something less illegal." Her smirk grew into a grin, and she let out an evil laugh. I gulped. You never know what Maggie is planning. "I was thinking more like maybe one of you guys could register at the school, and then get the info that way." The last of her sentence was said at lightning speed, but I heard just enough of it to make me laugh.

"No, this is even worse than the time you wanted us to join that ice skating competition just so you could prove that that one couple was screwing with the ice to make it harder to skate on." My sides were hurting from laughing so hard. I couldn't believe she wanted us to go to some fancy schmancy academy all for a newspaper article. But she suddenly looked really hurt.

"C'mon you guys, I'm being serious. What if this would be the article that launched my career? How would you feel knowing you ruined my dreams of being a professional journalist for a big end newspaper?" She pouted pathetically, and I tried to controll my fit of giggles. It was just so ridiculous! "Please? Devon...I bet you could do it." she prompted.

"Uh...I don't think so. Someone would beat me up, or I would get kicked out for screwing some guy." Devon said, shaking his head firecly. "If you want to actually get **any** information at all, you need to find someone else." Maggie thought for a minute.

"Fair enough...you're off the hook." Suddenly she turned to me, staring and looking up an down, seeming deep in thought. It took me a minute to figure out what she was doing.

"Okay, before you even say anything, the answer is no. No, no, no, no, no frickin' way!" I said, chucking my last piece of spoon at her so she'd get the message.

"Awe, please?! You could do it! I know you could!" Maggie said, jumping to her feet. I gave a short burst of astonished laughter.

"Maggie, this is ridiculous! There is no way I am pretending to be a dude so you can get your article!" I too was on my feet now, using wild hand gestures to express just how ridiculous this idea was.

"I thought you were my best friend. You know...the do anything for one another kind." So she was going to play the best friend card?

"Well...when I told you I would do anything for you, it never really...occured to me that dressing up as a boy and attending an all boys school was on your list of criteria!" I couldn't believe that she was actually serious!

"Give me one good reason why you can't do this." Maggie pressed, just trying to stall so I didn't 'officially' say no. Just the fact that I was arguing with her, made her think that I had the smallest grain of possibility inside. Which I don't, by the way, so don't get any ideas.

"Well, for one...I have boobs! And another...I actually think I look at least remotely like a girl! And, I don't know for sure, but I think maybe having...I don't know...SOME form of the male anatomy would help in this situation. Please...correct me if I'm wrong." Hmm...my sarcastic side was starting to show a little. Sarcasm was one of my specialties. Suddenly, Devon jumped to his feet and walked over to me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face him, looking me up and down.

"Actually...you wouldn't look half bad as a guy. It might actually work." he said. I groaned in annoyance, twisting out of his grip on my shoulders.

"What about you?" I asked Maggie sourly, rubbing where his hands had gripped, trying to rid them of any soreness. "Why can't you dress up like a guy and sneak in there? You're the one writing the article." She thought for a minute.

"I have way bigger boobs than you, I'm terrible at going undercover, and I have way too obvious curves." I listened to her list of excuses incredulously.

"Well...thanks for telling me that I look more like a guy than any of you, but, um..." I trailed off, looking down at my skinny body. I couldn't help it if it was a little bit boyish. I had **some** breasts. Sure...only B cups, but at least I had something. But...enough talking about my boobs. "No." And there went Maggie with her little puppy dog eyes. She was even whimpering for added patheticness. And then Devon was doing it too. "Why are **you** pouting? **You're** out of the question, remember." I said the last part a little bitterly, but he didn't seem offended.

"Oh, c'mon...I wanna see you give this a try. This could lead to some serious entertainment." He said, coming over to join our little standing group. There was a moment of silence in which the pair of them continued to stare at me, their eyes swimming with pout shine. I pulled my face into an incredulous expression.

"You guys **seriously **want me to dress up as a guy, attend this school, and spy on a bunch of douche bags in sweater vests?" I asked, throwing my hands into the air. Maggie thought for a minute.

"Well, yeah that just about sums it up for ya." she said bluntly, turning to Devon who was nodding right along with her. I could not believe my friends. I sank back down to the ground, eventually sitting down on one of the cement blocks they use to mark parking spaces.

"How in Ozzy Osbourne's name are we even going to get me registered for this place? Dressing me up as a guy will be easy enough, but you need all sorts of paperwork, and high grades and shit. None of which I'm going to have." I pointed out, trying to worm out of this mess. But, of course, Maggie always had some sort of plan. Whether it be made up as she went along, or previously planned, she always had one.

"Well, see...I was just thinking about that. And I think I have an idea that might actually work. This won't take very long. No more than two and a half weeks. So...we just get some sort of note or something saying that you'll be gone on some trip for the first two weeks of school. I'd say...studying abroad program would work out fairly well." I just laughed.

"Right...and when they call my mom and ask her how my trip in Japan is going, what happens then?" I asked, trying to make Maggie realize the obvious. It didn't seem to be working very well.

"Well, we'd have to make your mom fall for it too, dummy." Maggie said, her voice coated with pointedness.

"Hey..." Devon stepped in suddenly. "Doesn't St. James let in a week earlier than the other school's, 'cause the last week of their school year is a retreat or something?" I heard Maggie gasp.

"Oh my god! It's so freaking perfect, it's unbelievable!" she exclaimed. I groaned as she got up and did her happy dance. "It's so easy. So we just tell your mom that your coming on a trip with me to my cabin or something. And really, you can just stay at my house the whole time and go to school!" I couldn't believe it. She was squealing. She grabbed another cigarette out of her jacket pocket and lit up, plopping down next to me on the parking space marker thingy.

"So what do you say, B? Will ya do it? For me?" She pouted again, accompanied by Devon. I scrunched my face up.

"Well...you got me out of and shit with my mom, but how do I get INTO St. James, anyways?" I questioned, looking for any loophole I could find. It was Devon who answered this time.

"Okay, I know this is really weird, but my cousin's best friend's brother died in a car crash six months ago. This is really mean, but he was a straight A student and they kept all his applications they were gonna send into different schools, and I think they were gonna apply to St. James. Why not use his application to get in?"

"We're using a dead guys application to get Blair into the school?!" Maggie exclaimed incredulously, drawing the attention of a middle-aged couple and their small child entering the Dairy Queen. Devon looked sheepishly down at his feet. "Cool!" Maggie giggled excitedly. I smacked my forehead with my hand repeatedly. Maggie grabbed it and forced me to look at her. "For me?" was all she said.

I groaned. Then thought about it. We only had a week and a half before school started again. This would be something I could do with my friends. One last adventure before we were locked away in highschool for however many months on end. "You know what?! I'm friggen bored with not being able to do anything truly exciting in this shithole town! Screw my conscience and rules and whatever! Let's do this!" Maggie squealed with delight and smashed her cigarette on the pavement, pulling me up excitedly.

"Oh thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!" was all she seemed capable of saying. I just rolled my eyes and headed towards the truck. It was getting dark, and the mosquitos were starting to bite.

"Yeah...you owe me big time, Mag." I hopped into the back of the truck, and Maggie climbed in next to me. She wrapped me in a huge, bonecrushing hug.

"You bet I do. I promise...I'll make it up to you somehow. I loves ya, afterall!" I giggled and hugged her back.

"I loves ya, too, Magpie." I laughed, using the affectionate nickname I had dubbed her with several years back. I pulled away slightly and called out to Devon, who was tossing his trash into a nearby trash bin. "Hey Dev, get up here and hug us! We're having a moment!" Devon laughed and leaped into the bed, joining in on the group hug. I sighed contentedly. "I love you guys." They both murmered illegible things back, but I could guess what they were saying.

"Forever?" Maggie asked the two of us, sincerity painting her gaze. We all smirked.

"And always." we said together.

* * *

A/N: Woah...that took way longer to right than I thought. We were reading the Twelf Night in English class, and I think that kinda shaped my ideas for this story as well as the dream. Not sure why. Thanks for reading. MCR will come into it later. Please review!!!!!! I love you guys!


	2. Embracing Your Masculine Side

A/N: Heya! Long time, no update, huh? Sorry about that. It's just been a little hectic lately, but everything seems to be straightening out, so I should be able to update a bit more often. Sound good? KK. On with the story.

P.S. Don't worry, MCR will be in it soon, if that's what your reading this for. If not...just enjoy the ride! Thanks for all ur guys' patience. Really appreciate it. :D Over-exagerated smiley face for you!

* * *

**Chapter 2: Embracing Your Masculine Side....ALOT **

**Blair's POV **

I sat on the egde of my bed, swinging my legs impatiently while Maggie and Devon sat on my bedroom floor, sifting through files of papers. The dead guys applications, to be exact. Devon had called up his cousin or whoever yesterday, and somehow gotten ahold of the files. So here we sat, trying to find the application to St. James. This was our first order of business in the plan. After we found the application, we would call the school and ask where we could send it in. And then we'd get me all...boyish and go from there.

"I swear they were talking about him having applied there." Devon muttered outloud, flipping through the files in an irritated way. "I mean...I think he was even filling it out when I was at his house." Maggie was sifting anxiously as well. If the application wasn't in there, we'd have to come up with an identity for me. Then a thought sparked in my mind.

"Guys...don't they do extensive background checks on the students? Don't you think it'd be a little weird if they found out I was supposed to be dead?" I hopped off the bed and peered over Devon's shoulder. Mason Xavier Foster was written at the top of every application. "Is that my new name?" I added on at the end, out of the blue.

"Yup." Devon stated simply, tossing aside the folder he'd been flipping through and picking up a new one, not yet explored. "And...you shouldn't worry about the death thing. Mason was homeschooled his whole life, so their's no record of him having died with the schools, and believe it or not, they're not THAT careful with who they let in there. Some drug dealer got in a couple months back and turned six kids there into devoute crack users. Nice, huh? It was in the news."

I scanned my eyes over the papers discarded and dumped on the floor. At the corner of one paper, I could see the letters St. J-- The rest was cut off by an application to some other bording school in the town about a two hours drive from here. I grabbed the one for St. James, and held it up victoriously. "Found it!" I exclaimed, tossing it to Devon. He glanced over it.

"Okay..." he said, still devouring the paper with his eyes. "Your new name: Mason Xavier Foster. You live in with your Mom, Taylor, and your father, Jarod. You have no siblings. You're sixteen. Your birthday is April 22nd. And you have never been arrested, gotten a ticket, and you have a GPA of 3.8. Wow...you're a goody two-shoes." I punched Devon's shoulder before hopping up and beginning to pace.

"Relax..." Maggie said in that soothing voice of hers. "We still have two more days until the year starts at St. James. Just chill. We'll work it out." I couldn't help but freak out a bit, though. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. And two days really wasn't that long at all.

"Oh...why did I ever let you talk me into this?!" I groaned anxiously, stopping my pacing and sinking down onto my bed again and clutching the sheets. "Damn you and your persuasive qualities." Maggie grinned broadly, as though I were giving her compliments.

"You did it because you love me. You said so yourself. Now quit whining so we can actually acomplish something here." I rolled my eyes. This advice was coming from the girl who, just minutes ago, had insisted upon parading around in my mom's prom dress while listening to the song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndie Lauper.

"Oh yes Maggie," I said, laying the sarcasm on thickly, "You are truly the most commited person I have ever met." She shrugged and went back to shoving files un-organizedly into the box Devon had brought them in.

"Well...okay, looks like everything's all good. Now we just need to call the school and set up this application thingy." Devon said, hopping up and dashing down the stairs to go find our seldom used phone book. I think it was probably burried under a stack of Home and Garden magazines somewhere. Who knows...he might not be back for hours. I grabbed the application once more and gave it a quick once over. Then I caught something.

"We should change the contacts." I said to Maggie, pointing to the list of phone numbers it said you could reach the parents at. She glanced down from doing her eyeliner and nodded, agreeing with me. "What about if we give them your number?" I suggested, grabbing a pen from under my bed (I had a small collection of things under my bed from years of lack of cleaning.)

"Uh uh. My parents may never be home, but they check their messages all the time. What if the school calls while we're not there, and they leave a message? My parents would wonder what the hell was going on. They'd probably call the school, and then everything would just crash and burn. My number is not a good idea." I shrugged. It was just an idea.

"How about Devon's number, then. His mom never checks the messages, she's always too something or another to do anything." Devon's mom was an alcholic, and I felt bad sometimes because it was really hard on him. Mrs. Wilde was really a nice lady, but after Devon's dad died in a car crash two years back, she'd been a mess. Booze and smoking and partying. She was hardly ever home. Her abscence, I think, is probably one of the reasons Devon sleeps around so much. I think he's trying to fill the hole in his heart with something, anything. Because it's the closest he can get to the real thing. He may not look it on the outside, but Devon is actually a very sensitive guy.

Excuse me for getting all deep and stuff, I just thought I might explain. I crossed out the original phone numbers and wrote in Devon's number for the home phone, and his and Maggie's cell phone numbers for emergency contacts. "Okay...its all good. You guys have caller ID on your phones, right? We wanna be able to tell when the school is calling so we don't pick up and go, like, 'whassup?!' or something." Maggie nodded, still preoccupied with getting her liner JUST right. I rolled my eyes.

Suddenly Devon was walking into the room, the phone book under his arm. "Okay, Mag, you wanna do the honors, or should I? We **are** the parents after all." Maggie squealed excitedly and darted for the phone.

"Oooh! My turn to play undercover! What's my name again?" After we informed her that her name was Taylor Foster, she proceeded to dial the number we had managed to locate in the phone book. After a few rings, it seemed to pick up, 'cause she started speaking in an imitation womanly voice. It was pretty bad, but we'd have to make do. "Hello, yes, this is Taylor Foster calling. I was just wondering, what is the process of applying to your school? I know it's on very short notice, but we made a last minute decision, and your school seems excellent." She winked at me and Devon. "Yes, I'll hold for a moment."

She placed her palm over the end of the phone. "How am I doing?" she whispered. We both nodded encouragingly and waited to be connected again. "Yes...oh...an appointment?" Maggie said once someone was on the line again. I gulped. Oh shit! Holy mother of Ghandi! What were we gonna do?! "Umm...yes...yes, of course. Tomorrow? I think I can get that in. Yes, we'll drop the application off then. Thankyou. Alright, you too." And she hung up. I sprung forward.

"Maggie! We can't go to an appointment! I don't have any parents, remember?!" I exclaimed, shaking her by the shoulders. Devon grabbed my waist from where he was sitting and pulled me back until I landed with a thud on the floor in front of him.

"Blair, chill. I have a plan." Maggie said, getting that gleam in her eye she always gets. Usually right before someone ends up in the ER with a broken arm. (The summer of fourth grade + a game of tag in the woods + and an unstable log = a few weeks in a plaster casing.) I tried to stay calm while Maggie explained. "It's simple. Me and Devon will just be the parents." My jaw dropped open at her stupidity.

"Um...Mag, I hate to break it to you, but if that were the case, you'd've had to have given birth to Blair while you were still in the womb." Devon pointed out. Maggie rolled her eyes.

"We'd have to put on disguises, dumbass. I'm not THAT stupid and ridiculous." Me and Devon just looked at eachother. "So we get Devon a fake moustache and I put on a wig and some glasses, and you get all dressed up as a dude, and BAM! We're one big, happy family. How hard can it be?" I still couldn't believe this, and apparently, neither could Devon, 'cause he just sat there shaking his head. "C'mon you guys. If Blair can dress up as a guy, I think we can pull off looking a little older. It's not like we have to be fifty. We just need to look...maybe....thirty. Let's just say you got me pregnant really young." Devon grimaced.

"Okay, eww..." was all he said. I giggled at his reaction.

"C'mon, Dev. You'd get to wear a fake moustache." she said in a fake, cooing voice. That's when Devon hesitated. His hmmm-that-might-actually-be-kinda-fun look came over his features, and he soon agreed. "So it's settled, then. The meeting's at noon tomorrow. I think it's high time we ran out and bought some disguises, don't you agree?" Devon hopped up, eager to paste a french moustach on his upper lip, or something. I followed reluctantly. Something tells me today is going to be a LONG day.

* * *

Two Walmart trips, and a stop at shotty downtown disguise shop later, Devon was dropping me off at my house. We had kicked Maggie out about five minutes earlier at her house, and now we were just pulling into my driveway, singing along to But It's Better if You Do by Panic at the Disco. Devon pulled the car to a stop and killed the music, waiting for me to hop out. I was riding in the front this time. As I slid out the door, Devon spoke up.

"Hey, Blair?" he said, grabbing my elbow to stop me from leaving.

"Mmmmhmmm?" was all I could manage, as I was currently chowing down on beef lo mein from the chinese fast food place on main.

"You okay with going through with this tomorrow?" He was talking, of course, about our little situation.

"What? You mean the plan where I have to dress up as a dude, impersonate a dead guy, and spy on a bunch of assholes who probably have tea and crumpets for breakfast?" Devon just looked at me pointedly, telling me to ditch the sarcasm. This was his serious side, peeking out from under that hyperactive exterior. I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I'm okay. I mean...it's for Maggie, right? She's my best friend. I'd do anything for her. And if that means taping down my boobs, or lack there of, and wearing a sweater vest for a few days, then I'll do it." Devon smirked.

"'Kay. We'll come over around nine tomorrow to help you embrace the man within you and shit. Not sure how long it'll take us to get ready and stuff, but it's a half hour drive up there, so we're starting early. Get some sleep, 'kay?" I smirked.

"Sure thing, Mom. Anything else you want to tell me before I go? Eat my vegetables? Wear a coat when I go outside?" He snorted and started pulling out of the driveway. I blew him an over-exagerated kiss as he sped away, and then skipped inside. "I'm home!" I called when I got in. The house was dark, and no one was answering me. I thought for a minute.

Okay...possible explanations for this: A) My family was brutally murdered by a psycho killer who's waiting for me upstairs, B) They are being held against their will by a terrorist organization for ransom, or C) They left the house. Knowing my luck, it's probably some sort of twisted combination of all three, but I was hungry and there was pizza in the fridge. I decided that pepperoni was more valuable than my life, and if I were to die, I'd want to do it eating pizza. Hence, I trudged onward through the dark house.

I skidded around the corner and pulled open the fridge door, quickly locating the pizza box. Yum! Reaching for it, I realized a post-it note had been slapped on the front of the box. I recognized it as my mom's handwriting. That, and only she would know that the only way I would ever have found the note was if it were taped to a pizza box. I....am pathetic.

_Blair,_  
_Me and Chris had to run out to pick up the dresses and stuff for Aunt Trish's wedding. The way to the dress shop is two hours both ways, so we should be back by nine. (Sorry! No crazy house parties for you!) Hope you had fun today, you were out for awhile. This is the part where you say "I love you, Mom." , and I would say "I love you too, Bug." _

_xoxo, Mom _

_P.S. I ate the last piece of pepperoni. Whoops...hehe :D _

I rolled my eyes. Bug had been my nickname since I can't remember when. "How can you love me if you've taken the last slice of pepperoni?!" I said in pretend increduality, flipping the box open to see if she was just teasing me. But, sure enough, only sausage was left. I hate sausage. It should be illegal. I stuck it back in the fridge, and settled on a giant bowl of Cocoa Puffs that had been decomposing in the back of my cupboard for several months. But hey...Cocoa Puffs are Cocoa Puffs.

Glancing at the clock, I realized it was only 6:00 p.m. What to do for another three hours? I thought for a minute. Well...what better to do for three hours than watch The Shining?! Stephen King's version, not the original. I stuck it in the DVD player and settled on the couch with a Cherry 7Up and my Cocoa Puffs.

I was just getting to the part where they lock the dad in the closet when my cellphone started to ring.

"She's hot like wasabi! Looks like a barbie! She's way too hot for me!" blared out of my tiny device. Maggie. I flipped it open, not bothering to pause the movie. I've seen it a million times.

"What's crackin', Magpie?" She snorted on the other end.

"Whatcha doin'?" She said in a sing-song voice that could only be described as criminally insane material. I shrugged, the purpose defeated, as she couldn't see me.

"Just watching The Shining." I said half-heartedly, slightly tired from our long day. There was a pause.

"Oh...okay. We're picking you up at nine tomorrow. Have fun watching Wendy get her fuses blown or whatever it is happens in that movie. I haven't seen it in years. Bye!" And with that she hung up. I wasn't even going to begin to wonder. Maggie did that all the time. Where she'd call me, ask me a random question, make a comment and then hang up. She was weird like that. I guess I was more tired than I thought, because before I knew it, I was drifting off.

* * *

Ahhh...the sweet, sweet blackness of closed lids, drifting in and out of a peacefull sleep. I was vaguely aware of the din of far away noise, and the distinct smell of something I couldn't pinpoint. French toast, perhaps. It smelled cinnamonny. And then the noise became louder. Clattering and shifting and sizzling. A faint chortle of attempted quiet laughter. And then I could feel stares baring down at me in all directions.

My eyes shot open, and what I saw had me tumbling off the couch. Maggie started to laugh hysterically, sinking down onto the coffee table as I tried to pull myself up. Her face had been about half an inch from mine when I'd opened my eyes.

"Here's Johnny!" she said, quoting the original Shining.

"That's not the version I watched." I grumbled, hobbling towards Devon, who was sitting at the kitchen table, eating french toast. My mom was at the stove. "How the hell did you even get in my house?" I said grumpily, sitting down next to Devon.

"Blair Christine Hunter, watch your language in my house." my mom complained from the stove, brandishing a spatula. I apologized and awaited my answer.

"Your mom let us in. Now hurry up and eat and stuff. We have alot of work to do." Maggie said.

"What're you guys doing, anyways? You got here awful early." My mom questioned, setting a plate of french toast in front of me. We all exchanged looks.

"Umm...we're gonna help Maggie with an article she's doing for the school paper." I said, not really wanting to lie to my Mom. I mean, sometimes was okay, but if I could avoid it, I usually told the truth. She trusted me and all.

"Oh? What's it on that you have to be up so early for?" I almost groaned. Why did my Mom pick now, of all times, to pry? I knew she was just curious, but still.

"I'm actually doing it on this boarding school for boys called St. James. Just odds and ends about it. I have an interview with the headmaster at noon, and I need Devon to drive me up there, and Blair just offered to come along." Maggie didn't want to lie to my Mom either. She was good at coming up with cover-up stories, though. And everything she'd just said was true, for the most part. My mom nodded.

Then I remembered the other part of our plan. Getting me out of the house for a little bit. "Ummm, mom?" I tried to get out through a mouthfull of french toast. "Um, Mag is going up to her cabin until the first of september, and she was wondering if I could stay with her." My mom thought for a minute.

"Isn't that the day before you go back to school?" she questioned, oh so mom-ishly. I fought back a gulp.

"Well, yeah...I guess it is. But...um...we were just--" I stopped when I saw that my mom was smiling.

"Oh what the heck." she said, giving a short laugh. "Why not. When are you going up there, Maggie?" I rose my eyebrows. Either somebody spiked the french toast, or she was in a REALLY good mood today.

"We're planning on going up on the 28th, so...in about two days." Maggie answered promptly, looking very pleased that everything was working out so well. My mom went back to thinking. Flipping her mental calendar.

"That should work. The only thing you would miss is the barbeque at Mrs. Daniel's, and it's not like that's something you HAVE to go to, or anything. Yeah...that sounds good. Okay...28th: Mag and Blair up at cabin through the first of September. Got it." I couldn't believe how easy this was working out. It's like in a friggen movie.

I finally scarfed down the last of my french toast, and then the three of us dashed up to my room to turn me into a boy.

* * *

"Okay..." Maggie said slowly, seating me on the edge of my bed. Devon was pulling bag after bag of crap he had managed to sneak up to my room this morning, out of my closet. "First off, and I KNOW you're going to be pis-sed about this, but... Blair...we need to take the color out of your hair." she said, cringing and putting her hands up to her face as though I were going to smack her. I groaned.

I loved my freakish, multicolored hair. It's part of what made me...me! I placed my hands up to my locks and ran my fingers through it. "C'mon..." Maggie tried to persuade me, "You can dye it back when we're finished. I'll even pay for the dye myself." I took a look at my hair in my mirror, and stroked it.

"You promise?" I asked, reluctant to give up my trademark. Maggie nodded.

"Besides...I got you something new to try for your color. How does black sound, and then we can do some really dark red streaks in it?" I pictured myself with that. It wasn't my multicolored, but it would probably still look good. "We don't even have to cut your hair, 'cause it's short enough already."

"Alright...go ahead and do it before I change my mind." Maggie grinned, and Devon grabbed two boxes of hair dye from a bag. We all ran to the bathroom. Maggie told me to wet my hair first, so I did as she instructed. When my hair was to an acceptable dampness, she had me lean over the tub and started pouring the terribly cold liquid over my head and rubbing it in. Devon was reading the directions out loud so she knew what to do. The dye had to sit for ten minutes, so we passed the time by helping Devon pick out his fake moustach. (He had insisted on picking several.) After forcing ourselves not to choose the Hitler looking one, we picked a sort of Tom Selleck ish one.

Then Maggie scrubbed the black shit out of my hair, and the water looked like something out of a horror movie. Then she did the dark red streaks, which turned the water a wine color. And before I knew it, I had completely new hair. I gazed in astonishment at it for several minutes before Devon pulled me away from the mirror, and scrubbed my face down.

"Just to remove any excess makeup." he informed me, scrubbing particularily hard on my eyes.

"Hey...you wear guyliner." I pointed out, swatting his hand away. He just grinned.

"It'll make your eyes look too girly." After that, I didn't protest anymore. Particularily because he made a good point. Then he started rubbing gell on my eyebrows, and rubbing in all directions. "Your eyebrows are too girly. This'll make 'um look more manly." I rolled my eyes.

When my face was makeup free and my eyebrows were, as they put it, 'more manly', Devon left the bathroom so that Maggie and I could tape my boobs down with a roll of bandage. I pulled one of Devon's old Iron Maiden t-shirts on over my head and the smallest pair of guys jeans we could possibly find from the stores we had been to. I did a twirl in front of the mirror. "How do I look?" I asked, twirling again.

"Awesome. You definetly look like a dude, just a little bit feminine is all. But there can only be one true test of how good you look. Let the gay guy tell you what he thinks." And she wrenched open the door. Devon was leaning against the wall, flipping through a magazine. He glanced up and his eyes bugged.

"Wow...if you were actually a guy, I'd probably check you out." was all he said. I shook my head. "Nice job, Mag." She grinned with self-satisfaction.

"Thanks. You were pretty good, yourself. Now...it's time for dear mummy and daddy to get ready." She said, adopting a British accent halfway through the sentence. Oh Maggie...poor, crazy Maggie... What have you been smoking? Besides ciggarrets, that is.

* * *

About half an hour later, we had completed their disguises. Devon was clad a button-up shirt and some sort of casual, dressy pants he had found burried in his closet somewhere. We pasted on his Tom Selleck moustache, and pretty much laughed our asses off for approximately ten minutes. We gave him some creepy sideburns to go with his creepy moustach, and then we gelled his hair into a state of perfection Elvis would have been proud of.

Maggie's was hilarious. We put all her crazy red hair up in a wig cap and put this beautiful curly blonde wig we had found at the disguise shop downtown. Then I powdered her face and gave her more sophisticated make-up. Red lipstick and all. But the best part was defintely the pregnant belly we had jokingly picked out at the disguise shop as well. With a black sundress, and peep toe heels, I didn't even recognize her. That and the fact that she looked about five months pregnant. She turned excitedly to us after looking in the mirror.

"Okay...I'm pregnant, you're a boy, and Devon looks like a rapist. Who's ready to go?" We laughed and I hollered to my mom, who was in the shower, that we were gonna head out and didn't know when we'd be back. She didn't seem to care much and told us to have fun and good luck, so we bolted to the door, trying to avoid Chris.

We managed to make it out alive, and Devon was shifting stuff around in his seat so he could fit us in his car. We didn't want our wigs or something flying off in the wind if we sat in the bed of the truck. Hopefully, they wouldn't do that, but just in case...

"Hey..." Maggie whispered to me. "How do I look? Is the pregnant belly on right, or is it crooked? I can't tell." She was looking down at it, and tilting from side to side, trying to see how it looked. I stared at it for a minute.

"Umm...hold on...I think it's a little farther to the right than it should be." I started punching the stomach so that it would shift to where it was supposed to be. "Stupid baby!" I said loudly, punching it with gusto. I heard a gasp and looked up. The elderly couple was sitting on their porch again. And this time, instead of watching Maggie slap my ass, they get to see me punch a baby. Nice...nice... "Oh...we're just...It, um--" I stuttered, laughing nervously. "Ummm, let's go before I get arrested for abuse."

I pulled Maggie to the car, shoved her in there, and then climbed in myself. Well...looks like I'm off to go apply for an all boys academy.....

OH MY GOD! I'm going to apply to an all boy's academy!

* * *

Thirty-two. This is the exact number of minutes it takes to drive from my house to St. James Academy for Boys. Yes, I counted. I do that when I'm nervous. I make sure everything's exact. When I stressed a bit about finals, I cleaned my room. When I freaked out because I thought Maggie was going to move to Nebraska in fifth grade, I organized a book shelf. I guess I never clean normally, so when something freaky happens, I have to do something that stimulates the unused cleaning part of my brain or something psycho like that.

Devon slid his beat up truck into an open parking space nearest the door as he could get. It had started to sprinkle rain while we were driving, and I guess it was vital that I didn't lose my man eyebrows, or something, 'cause Maggie made me shield my face with the application we had brought with us. There was also a collection of Mason's report cards (mostly all straight A's) that Devon had obtained through his cousin. We all hopped out. I was shaking a little bit. What if I screwed up? What if my wig fell off? I started to straighten the pile of papers I was holding.

Maggie knew of my tendancy to organize when I was stressed, so she tried to comfort me in the best way she could. Maggie was not a good comforter. "Just relax, Blair. You'll do fine. Just let me do all the talking." We were doomed.

"Okay, Maggie, I think you're making her a little nervous. Let's just review. Okay, what's your name?" Devon asked, trying to keep my mind busy.

"Mason Xavier Foster. And your guys's names are Taylor and Jarod. My birthday is April 22nd. Trust me, I reviewed while you guys were getting dressed." I took a deep breath. "Okay...let's get this over with." They both nodded and led the way to the main entrance. A beautiful set of oak double doors with intricate engravings carved through it. Two silver knockers were posistioned and lonely looking. Probably hadn't been used for awhile. Devon didn't use them either. He walked in ahead of us, letting the door slide slowly back.

"Hey!" Maggie playfully snapped, "Hold the door for the pregnant woman, you ignoramus!" She wobbled into the entrance hall and stared, wide-eyed, like me. Cherry wood floors surrounded us, and three, dark grey, arch pillars stretched up to the ceiling only about twelve feet away from us. Beyond that, we could see what I guess was the grand staircase that led to the second floor. It was a HUGE staircase, man! There was a chandelier dangling above us, and a neat rug on the floor. Potted plants and chairs stood solemnly by the walls, and wall lanterns glowed dimly in their places.

To our right, there was a set of smaller double doors labeled_ Headmaster's Office_ on a gold door plate. I gestured towards it. Maggie took a gigantic breath. "Okay...Let's hear your man voice, Blair." she whispered, looking anxiously at the door. I groaned. We had been practicing my manly man voice on the whole ride up.

"Fuc-k you." I said in my most boy-like voice. Maggie grinned.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "Alright...let's do this. Come on Jarod, we've got to hurry or we'll be terribly late for Mason's appointment." she said, picking up her womanly voice, which had improved since the phone call here. Behind the door was a cluttered desk with a perky blond secretary sitting behind it. She wore a light pink blouse and a grey pencil skirt with stilletos.

"Bonjour. I will be right with you." she said in a heavy french accent. Then name plate on her desk read _Clarette_. She pressed a button on what looked like a telephone, and waited for something to happen. Suddenly another voice clicked on.

"Ugh! Y-Yes, Clarette, what do you need?" a voice stuttered on the other end. He sounded busy, whoever he was. The secretary giggled.

"You're twelve o' clock is here." It was a wonder anybody could understand her. She sounded like a garbage disposal.

"Y-Yes, well...I'll be right out. I'm just, ah...finishing up in here." Him with that strained voice again.

"Please...take a seat. The headmaster will be right out." Clarette gestured to an array of waiting room chairs up against the wall. We all plopped down and settled in. A few minutes later, the door cracked open, and wildly grinning woman slipped out. She was blushing and fixing the last button on her blouse. Her hair was in slight dissaray. Looks like Mr. Headmaster's been hard at work with his number 2 pencil, if you know what I mean. About two seconds later, a creepy man with piercing grey eyes and quiff hair peeked out at us.

"Sorry about the wait. Me and Jenaveve were just going over some, er...financial issues. But, please, do come in." We entered his office and saw that everything seemed neat and tidy, except for a chair that lay forgottenly tipped over in a corner. The scene of the crime. "Welcome, Mrs. Foster, Mr. Foster." He shook Maggie and Devon's hands politely and took a seat, waiting for us to do the same.

"Thanks for seeing us on such short notice, sir." Devon said, playing up his man vocals. The headmaster nodded.

"Yes, please...call me Kirk." I tried not to gag. I hated that name, though! Maggie snorted in laughter, but managed to morph it into a cough. "Bless you." Kirk said. She just nodded and tried not to laugh again. "Anyways, if you don't mind, I'd just like to look over your son's application, and various things. What was his name?" After being informed that my name was Mason, he began to scan the application, making various noises of approval. "Well...everything seems to be in order here. Did you have any questions?"

"Oh no, I think we understood everything." Maggie said, in a sort of undetectably false, cheerful voice. Headmaster Kirk grinned. Ew...he had a gap. I don't have a problem with gaps, but the man gave me the creeps!

"Okay...as you know, the year begins at St. James in just two days. The board requires us to start earlier than other schools because the last week of our school year is a retreat. Some of our students that live farther away, have actually already arrived." He smiled cheesily. "Your son seems very bright, Mr. and Mrs. Foster. Almost all straight A's. He certainly seems like he'd be a wonderful addition to our school." I forced a smile that I'm sure came out as more of a grimace.

"Yes, he's very intelligent." Devon boomed. "We want him to excel, so we think this school would be a wonderful choice for him, don't you think so, Mason?" I nodded.

"Huh, quite the quiet one? Don't worry, everyone here is very nice. I'm sure he'll be able to develope socially here as well as academically." I hated it how he talked about me like I wasn't even there. What...an a-hole.

The rest of our time was spent with him telling us how wonderful his school was, and Maggie trying not to laugh at his sissy name. Add about ten extra minutes of Devon stroking his moustach and almost ripping it off, then we were finished. "Thankyou for stopping in." Headmaster Kirk said, ushering us out of his office. "We look forward to seeing you here on opening day. Thanks again, have a good afternoon." Clarette traded goodbyes with us too, most of hers in garbled French. I was laughing quietly with Maggie as I reached for the door knob, her and Devon trailing slightly behind me.

_Twist! _The door slid open before I had even touched it. A pair of hazle eyes under a fringe of black hair looked down at me. Those chilling eyes sparkled against milky white skin. My mouth dropped open. I was in complete awe. "Sorry..." the mystery boy muttered, backing up so we could get through. Maggie pushed me out into the hallway, and the boy slipped inside the office.

"Euh, Gerard. The headmaster will be with you in a moment." I heard Clarette say before the door slid closed. I still had my mouth hanging open like I was special Ed, or something.

"What are you gawking at?" Maggie pushed me playfully as I shuffled to the door we came in through, glancing back over my shoulder. I was hoping to see that boy again. Something strange had fluttered up inside me when he'd looked down at me. Something new, and adventurous, and dangerous, and all sorts of words that end in -rous. I know that sounds like cheesy romance novel material, but it's the only words I know how to describe that with.

"Hey...that guy was hot." Devon defended me. "I was gawking too." Maggie punched his arm.

"You dirty, flithy man. How could you say such things in front of your wife?! I'm having our baby, you pig, you scum!" she shrieked, jokingly. I was hardly paying attention. My mind was twelve feet away. In that office door, with the mystery boy and his sparkling hazel eyes.

* * *

A/N: Ah...our first introduction to the MyChem boys. Even though it was only one of them. This is sort of a filler chapter, the next one's will be very interesting, I promise you. Pushing myself to regular updates. Expect weekly ones on this, unless something goes wrong. So...that means, my next chapter should be up by next Saturday. Have a nice day, and come again. Oh and reviewing would be nice....Just maybe... HINT HINT. ;D

Song of the Week (According to Moi) : Telephone by Lady Gaga.

Last Updates Week Song : Lisztomania by Phoenix


	3. Meeting the Outcasts

A/N: Heeeeey, bitches! My sister's being a brat right now, and I really wanna punch her in the face. Watch out! I might decide to take my anger out on you. (Creepy Smile...) But, anyways....get ready for the wrath of weekly updates! It's really not as bad as it sounds. Basically, you can expect another chapter by Sunday of each week.

**Word of the Day: **Quatrefoil /'kat-re-,foil/ Noun meaning: A conventionalized representation of a flower with four petals or of a leaf with four leaflets.

Hmmm...Some people would call that a four-leaf clover, for all us non-genious people out there. Webster...was a dumbass.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Meeting the Outcasts**

**Blair's POV **

"Oh! I'm going to miss you so much!" Pause. Freeze the scene. Okay...annoyed-looking little brother sulking in the background. Check. Overwhelming mother dreading the abscence of her child. Check. (Double the checks on that aspect.) And that girl being sqeezed out of existance by the mother? That girl was me. I was currently having my bones crushed by the woman who had pushed my six pounds, nine ounces of knees and elbows right out of her very self. Such odd ways we show affection. Okay...playing in regular speed now.

"Mom...at the rate you're hugging me, I'll end up in the hospital with a broken collar bone instead of at Maggie's cabin." She squeezed even harder. "You'll have to pay hospital bills." I offered breathlessly. She quickly released me, allowing me to see her glossy eyes. I groaned. This was like my first day of kindergarten all over again. It's almost harder for the parents than it is for the kid. The teacher ended up comforting my Mom, while I went and played hopscotch and got angry at a boy, proceeding to kick him repeatedly in the shins.

"I know, I know...just go already before I make you take pictures of us along with you, or threaten to send a detective to follow you." Haha...yeah Mom, you're hilarious. (I didn't know if she was serious or not by the way her eyes gleamed when she looked at me.) I had my suitcases at my feet, actually packed with my school uniform among other various necessities for staying at a boys boarding school for however many days. The uniform consisted of black pants held up by a belt of your choice (Yay! An **ounce **of freedom!), a white undershirt and a black pinstriped blazer, light yellow tie. A rather odd combination of clothes. Almost as though the store had run out of complete sets of uniforms, and mixed the scraps of others to get St. James's.

"You finished saying goodbye, 'cause Mag's waiting out in the car." Actually, she wasn't really. It was just Devon, but my Mom didn't need to know that. Maggie's services were required elsewhere. She had to watch her little two year old cousin for a couple of hours while their Mom went out to lunch with a couple of rich clients of hers. We called it nugget-sitting. My mom nodded and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Have fun..." she said as cheerfully as she could with tears welling up in her big eyes. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do." Hmmm...would my mother impersonate a dead guy at an all boys boarding school to help get the news on some fraud that might not even exist? Let's leave that as an open ended question. I was trying to avoid a guilty conscience.

I grabbed my bags, blew a kiss to Chris, and then bolted out the door, straight towards the truck. "Quick...hurry! Before she changes her mind and comes outside with a net or something to kidnap me back with!" I said frantically, only half kidding, as Devon slid out of the driveway. Thankfully, we were speeding away before my mother came out to realize that Maggie was nowhere in sight. "You got the stuff?" I asked Devon, looking around for the bags of shit I would need to "manify" myself. He lifted up a plastic Target bag bulging over with odds and ends like my eyebrow gel, and the roll of sports bandage that hid my hooters. (**A/N: LOLZ, sorry had to say it...)** (Okay...SOMEONE stayed up too late last night...hehe)

"There's a gas station on the way up. You can get into your uniform, and get a sex change there." Devon said, pulling onto the main road. He was already in his formal attire. Moustache in place, suitable clothing, impressive mountain of hair on his head. We pulled into the gas station soon, and I rushed into the bathroom to change. Once out, I grabbed a bag of Doritos and a Diet Coke before dragging Devon away from flirting with the innocent cashire, and hopping in the truck.

* * *

I could feel my nerves starting to kick in again. I was fiddling with my paperclip bracelet I knew I would soon have to remove, and the slight crookedness of Devon's moustache was really starting to bother me. He noticed my anxiousness and popped in a Muse CD he dug out from under his seat. The music certainly calmed me down a great deal, because before I knew it, we were pulling up in front of St. James Academy for Boys.

This time, many cars filled the parking lot. Soon-to-be students and their families milled around the outside of the building, admiring the architecture or trying to find which way to the main entrance. I took a deep breath and hopped out of the car. As I was pretty weak, myself, Devon had to help me unload all my shit out of the back of his car. We dragged it up to the crowded sidewalk and tried to make our way to the front doors without getting killed. I noticed the way Devon's eyes lit up whenever a cute boy passed.

"Stop checking everybody out." I hissed at him. "You look like a pedophile." He snorted at this, but discontinued with his wandering eyes. Clarette, the French secretary, was greeting people at the front door.

"Bonjure..." she said repeatedly, smiling brightly. "Welcome to St. James. Right this way to the lobby. Lunch will be served in the dining hall for anyone who wishes to attend." She gestured families into the entrance hall, overflowing with people. I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Suddenly, a smiling woman with dark red hair approached us.

"Excuse me," she said, "have you checked in yet?" I shook my head, afraid that I would fail miserably at my boy voice in the pressure of the moment. "Alright, dear, what's your name?"

"Mason." I choked out. "Mason Foster." She looked down at a huge ass clipboard clutched in her bony hands, and scanned down a list of what I assumed to be the names of expected students.

"Okay, Mason. You're all checked in, and we know you're hear. If you or your parents or guardians are hungry, lunch is being served in the dining hall straight ahead throught those two sets of double doors. You'll be assigned you're room and given a list of your classes when they have the school Welcoming in the auditorium building." She had been smiling throughout the whole conversation. If I were one of these people, I think my lips would fall off from so much grinning and laughing.

I was herded forward with the crowd, Devon tagging as closely behind me as was possible. We were finally shoved into the dining hall, which was less crowded, thank Ghandi. Tables were set with cloths and sets of silverware. Two tables pushed together at the head of the hall served as a buffet table. All sorts of things were spread out on it. Baskets of bread and butter, dishes of mashed potatoes and assorted soups. Platters with different kinds of sandwhich meat laid out neatly on them. Bowl after bowl of sides like fruit salad, rice and veggies, shrimp and cocktail sauce. And lets not forget the array of desserts. A glorious heaven of chocolates, multiple varieties of cakes, little custards in fancy schmancy dishes, and even chocolate fondue with strawberries for dipping. Sorry to go all out on the food description, but I was starving, having only had a bowl of Cap 'N Crunch for breakfast. And those Doritos in the car.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang. Wasabi by Lee Harding sounded out of the speakers. Maggie. I picked up. "Hello..." I said quietly, though it was unnessescary because the hall buzzed with sounds.

"Hello, this is Agent Magarette requesting the progress of operation Transgender." I heard Maggie say on the other end. I 'haha-ed" sarcastically as I got in line for the buffet. "No but really, how's everything going? Sorry I couldn't be there. I promised my aunt I'd nugget-sit, like...two months ago, though. Just my luck it would fall on this day." I shrugged my shoulders and loaded my plate with a mountain range of mashed potatoes, speckling it with little broccoli trees and making a little gravy river run through one side. I'd been doing this since I was five years old.

"It's no big deal...Doubt you would've needed to do anything important. Everyone's just kinda chilling out and eating sandwhiches and shit." I glanced around the dining hall. People were chatting animatedly at tables, while others drifted along in the background, keeping out of everyone's notice. That would probably be the best way to go around here. As quietly as possible. That's right...play it cool. "Yeah...nothing's really happening right now. I mean...what is there to happen?" I caught sight of some cheesecake to my left, and turned sharply to grab some. Big mistake....

_**SPLAT **_

I froze. My plate of mashed potatoes seemed to have embedded itself in the shirt of a tall, blonde haired boy with crystal blue eyes, and a "perfect" face. Generic boy nextdoor good looking. "Ummm...I've gotta go, Mag." I said, abruptly hanging up, ignoring her confused protests.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't know you were there." I said quietly, bending down to pick up my plate and offering him my napkin to wipe his shirt off with. He snatched it from my hand abruptly, his face scrunched into a cross between a pis-sed off Zack Efron, and some rich, snobby asshole with no life.

"God, faggot! Watch where you're going!" he raged, scrubbing his shirt with the disintigrating napkin. "Damn, this was a brand new tie." I frowned. One of my best friends being gay, you can imagine how I felt about the second f-word. God...this was going to be worse than I thought. Just a bunch of uptight rich people with nothing better to do than curse at people for getting their ties dirty. What a bunch of douche bags.

"Hey, who are you calling faggot? You're the one wearing a pink tie, asshole." The voice that said this was not mine, though it was exactly what I had been thinking. It came from behind me. I turned. Standing right there was a rather short boy with shaggy dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He smirked a smirk that I knew could only belong to him, and his button nose gave a small twitch. I grinned. Just by looking at him, I could tell in some weird way that we were going to get along. This was exactly the same way I felt in kindergarten when I'd spot people I knew would be my friends. Yay for kindergarten!

The blonde boy huffed angrily, and stalked away, not having any clever comebacks to throw at us. "Don't worry about that guy." the boy told me, walking over and handing me a new, clean plate, smirking again. "I've known him since the seventh grade. His bark is worse than his bite." I nodded at him, finally getting the slice of cheesecake I'd been waiting for, and deciding to get just a sandwhich to avoid another incident. "I'm Frank, by the way. Frank Iero." He stuck out his hand, waiting for me to return the gesture.

"Uh...Mason F-Foster." I shook his hand, thanking god I hadn't accidentally said Blair. I grabbed another napkin and scanned the hall.

"Hey...you wanna sit over by me? I could use some company. I'm guessing you don't really have any friends here either." he asked almost eagerly, as though he were actually kinda lonely but not wanting to show it. I grinned, and told him that I really didn't want to be sandwhiched in between any other douch bags here, anyways. (God, I hope I'm not acting too girly.) "Great..." he said, "How 'bout over there? It looks empty enough." I started to follow him over to the table, before I caught sight of Devon, devouring a ham sandwhich. I sighed.

"Excuse me for a moment. I've gotta go tell my dad something." I veered off course from the table, and waltzed over to Devon's table. "How's it going, DAD?" I asked loudly, emphasis on the dad. He nodded through a bite of sandwhich. "You know...I think I'm good. If you want, you can probably get back home. I'm sure Cameron will be waiting for you." I was reffering to, of course, the boy he had had over a few days ago when I was on the phone with him.

"Oh...me and Cameron are long over now..." he said solemnly. "I've got a new man. His name's Drew. He rides a motorcycle." I rolled my eyes.

"Great...I might as well write your obictchuary now. Would you like me to include that you were killed in a motorcycle crash, or would that be too graphic?" He chucked a piece of bread at me. "Carefull..." I hissed playfully, "Don't knock my wig off." He shook his head in the perfect imitation of a father who'd just realized his child belonged in a mental institution. "Anyways...the parents are starting to leave anyways, and I have somebody to sit by." He looked around eagerly.

"Is he cute?" Devon asked, craning his neck over the sea of people and floating faces that seemed to have no bodies. I groaned and got up from the table. "I guess I'll see you soon. I'm sure I'll call multiple times, as will Mag. Don't worry, we'll keep in touch." He outstretched his arms for a hug. I looked around nervously.

"Umm...is it manly to give people hugs?" I asked quietly. He rolled his eyes and grabbed me around my neck, pulling me in.

"See ya in a bit. Have fun with your new friend." He gave a short giggle, and then stuffed the rest of his sandwhich in his mouth, preventing any further laughter. I waved goodbye and watched his back retreat through the crowd. "Call if you need anything!" he called over his shoulder. When he was through the doors, I rushed back to find Frank sitting alone at a clearing table, picking at a cupcake and scrolling through his ipod.

"Sorry." I apologized, sliding into the seat across from him. "Had to say goodbye to my dad." He smiled, and shrugged, taking a bite of the cupcake. "Where are your parents?" He shrugged again, but this was more of a forlorn sort of shrug.

"Dunno...they just kind of dumped me here and left." There was a moment of awkward silence. "It's no big deal." he assured me, seeing my awkward expression. I caught sight of the orange device in his hand.

"What sort of songs you got on there? Dude." I asked, adding dude for a little manlyness.

"Hmmm...mostly rock and stuff. Got some Black Flag, some American Nightmare...Beastie Boys, Bouncing Souls. All the good stuff." I laughed. His music taste was a bit different than mine, but liked some of the bands he'd said, too. "What about you? What's your favorite band?"

"Muse..." I answered immediately. Muse, Muse, Muse!!!! He smirked again. It seemed to me that he smirked alot.

"Yeah...they're pretty good. I think I've got 'Resistance' by them on here somewhere." I looked down at his plate. He'd only taken a cupcake and a pile of fruit.

"You still hungry? You can have some of my sandwhich." I held my untouched half out to him. He shook his head. "You sure? It's just turkey."

"Yeah...I'm a vegetarian, though, so..." I grinned knowingly, almost wanting to roll my eyes. Was everyone I knew a vegetarian?

"Oh! Really? My friend's a vegetarian too! So don't worry, I'm used to it." We talked for a bit longer about random stuff like books we like, movies, more music. We were laughing at some story Frank told about the time he was in fifth grade and accidentally pushed the girl he liked into a fountatin on a school field trip, when people started hearding the students towards the entrance hall. Frank got up, leaving his plate on the table. "Where's everyone going?" I asked a bit nervously, watching all the students chattering noisily as we walked towards the front doors.

"We're heading out to the auditorium building. It's right next to the school." Indeed there was a building I hadn't noticed before, nestled right in next to the school. It was nothing special. Actually rather ordinary looking next to the intricate architecture of the actual school. "I think they just built it recently. That's why it's so different from the main building." We were shuffling along within the sea of school uniforms, when a deep voice called out from behind us.

"Hey Iero! Did you get shorter over the summer?!" We both turned. Pushing through the crowd was a tall boy with huge, muscley arms and a broad chest. It looked like he had to be sewn into his uniform. Ontop of his head sat a brown puff of hair, almost like an afro, but longer. More...straight down. His face was angular, and he had huge lips. I almost wanted to laugh at his strange appearance. He wasn't ugly, but he had such unusual features! Frank grinned.

"I don't know Toro? Maybe it's those high heels you're wearing." Frank pointed to his shoes. They did indeed have a larger heel than most boys shoes I've seen.

"Haven't changed, have you?" The big one asked, punching Frank in the arm.

"Not a bit." he said proudly, puffing out his chest. The large one looked down at me suddenly, just noticing that I was watching the conversation.

"What?" he asked suddenly. My eyes grew wide, I wasn't sure what to say? What would a guy say in this situation.

"Dude, Ray...chill. He's with me." Frank slung an arm around my shoulder. "Mason, this is Ray Toro. Ray, this is Mason--er..."

"Foster." I piped up, my voice coming out a bit deeper than I'd meant it to. Thankfully, no one really noticed.

"Yeah...Foster...I knew that. Anyways, don't mind Ray. He may seem like a hot head, but he's really just a big softy." Ray rolled his eyes but smiled. We had finally entered the auditorium and I spotted some seats.

"Hey, Frankie! There's some seats over there!" I said excitedly, dashing off towards the four empty seats I'd found. I blushed, then...realizing I'd called him Frankie instead of Frank.

"Wow..." he said, coming over and sitting next to me. "No one's called me Frankie since sixth grade." I looked down. "Hey, I don't mind. I actuall kinda like it." I grinned again.

"So, Frankie it is." Ray came over and sat next to Frank. We all watched the stage, knowing someone was about to come on soon, judging from the way the auditorium was slowly quieting. Headmaster Kirk (LOL) soon stalked onto the stage, taking the mircophone Clarette was offering him, and coming to the center to address us all.

"Welcome, students! I would like to welcome all of our first years, as well as our returning students. And a special welcome to the senior class, as this is their last year at St. James. I hope you all enjoyed lunch?" Him with his cheesy questions again. There were many cheers, but a select few of us (like Frankie and Ray) bellowed their dislike for the second rate sandwhiches. Thankfully, the place was too loud to really pick out any "delinquints".

"Alright...well...this year's schedual is pretty smooth." the headmaster continued. "As some of you know, you are required to wear school uniforms all days of the week except Saturday's. Sundays will be church days, so you'll be required to wear them then, as well." There was a wide expanse of groans at this news. He gave a cheap laugh, and continued. "You will be permitted to leave school grounds on weekends as long as you sign off, and return by set curfew. On regular school days, you will be allowed to leave the building after dinner only, to return by curfew as well."

"Class scheduals will be handed out, along with room assignments. You will recieve these from our lovely volunteers by a set up check in desk in the entrance hall." He looked seductively over at Clarette and winked. She giggled in response. I looked over at Ray and Frank and pretended to shoot myself in the head, using my fingers as the gun. They both chuckled and quietly agreed that Kirk was an ugly man-ho. The rest of his little speech was so boring, I think I'd rather sit through fourteen hours of Cats on broadway, than hear it again. I won't trouble you with the torture that still rings in my ears, friends.

"Well...that was boring as shit..." Frank said bluntly as we got up to leave. We had been directed to go straight to the entrance hall to get class scheduals and room assignments, but we were lagging behind the other students. I silently wondered what Devon and Maggie were up to at the moment. "Think any of us will be lucky enough to room with eachother?" Frank asked hopefully, looking between Ray and me. Ray snorted.

"Not a chance. The people here aren't THAT nice. They wouldn't dare put two friends together. They say it's because they don't want anything to interfere with our studies. It's my theory that they're just assholes." We all laughed at this, as we made it to the front of the line for check in.

"Names...." the woman behind the desk asked in a bored voice that said "I could be out drinking and gambiling tonight, but instead I got stuck with the stupid assignment of telling these asswipes who they get to see undressing, and hear snoring for the next nine months."

"Frank Iero." Frank said. The woman handed him a paper with House A on it and then a key with a small tag dangling off of it. It read 211. Ray went next and got a key that said 305. Finally my turn came up.

"Ummm...Mason Foster?" I said, almost doubting that my name would be on the list. But the woman handed me a sheet of paper and a key reading 238. Looking at my paper with my class schedual on it, I realized it said House B at the the top of it. "What does House B mean?" I asked Frank and Ray who were waiting for me by one of the pillars.

"The classes are divided into two houses. So...our freshmen class has House A and B. House B means that you'll be with the rest of your house for all your classes. House A-ers will be with their House for all their classes. It's the same for the seniors and everybody, except they have different House A and House B than, say....freshmen." Ray explained in detail.

"Damn...you're house B? Me and Ray are both in A. Guess you won't be in any of our classes." Frank said, sounding genuinely dissappointed.

"But...I mean, we WILL see eachother SOMETIMES, right?" I asked nervously. I really didn't feel like wandering around a place like this.

"Of course!" Frankie said eagerly. "Like at lunch, and after school hours we can hang out. At break. We'll pass eachother in the halls. Weekends." He rambled off the list of all the times possible for us to see eachother. I guess it didn't seem so bad. And maybe there would be other nice people in my House. I thought of the blonde haired boy I had crash landed my potatoes into, and then began to doubt myself.

"All students may now go to their rooms and get settled in! Dinner will be served in one hour." A woman I recognized to be Jenaveve (the chick Kirk was banging when we first met him) was directing the students from the top of the large stairwell. Kids started to stampede towards it. She quickly dashed out the way, almost falling down the stairs in her huge ass heels.

"Guess we better get up there." Ray said, glancing at our room numbers. "Well...you guys are close. I'm on a whole nother floor!" Frankie patted him on the back. "Probably got roomed with some douch, too." We grabbed our luggage from the pile we had been told to put it in when we first got here, and then started towards the stairs. We walked up the stairs until we reached the second floor.

"Meet us down at dinner by the doors?" Frank asked, watching Ray continue to climb the stairs. He nodded. I said bye to Frank at 211, and then set off to find 238.

"Please don't let me be rooming with some asshole! Please, ghandi!" I begged quietly under my breath, sliding my key into the lock and pushing it open. The room was empty at the moment. Not a single item in it. I had no clues whatsoever as to what my roomie was like. Maybe I'd get lucky and get a room to myself. I tossed my shit onto the top bunk and looked around. Large enough room. It had a set of bunk beds, a desk in one corner, small sink and mirror set, and a closet. Plus there was a window seat looking out onto the grounds. Looks like were gonna have to use a community bathroom. I gulped at the thought. How was I supposed to shower?!

And then it hit me. I had done it. I had officially gotten into St. James Academy for Boys. I did it! I couldn't believe it! I don't even think anyone suspects anything! I started to jump around crazily, just so excited that I had gotten the worst over and done with. "Oh yeah! You did it!" I said happily, spinning around.

"Ummm..." came a voice from the door way. I froze, my back to the door. In all my excitement, I hadn't hear my roomie come in. "Well, I don't mean to interrupt your little pow wow or anything, but...would you mind if I unpacked?" I turned around. An awkward looking boy clutching a black bag and suitcase stood in the door, a rather entertained expression on his face. He had stick straight brown hair and milky skin. A pair of rather familiar looking hazel eyes say behind cute little glasses that perched on his thin nose. And man, was he skinny! Probably about my size, if not more so. He was lanky, too. With long legs and torso.

"Sorry..." I said, smiling, but then correcting myself with a more manly smile, which I'm sure came out more looking like I had a mouth deformity than anything else. The boy raised his eyebrows, but smiled back.

"Is this like, some weird Satanic ritual? Should I go get like...some black clokes and candles for us?" he asked jokingly, dragging his stuff into the room, and flopping it onto the bottom bunk. "Thanks for taking the top." he said, "I actually don't like being up there. I always fall off or something stupid." He straightened up. "I'm Mikey Way."

"Bl--Mason..." I said, almost slipping for the first time. He looked confused.

"Blamason?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed. I shook my head, and nervously laughed it of.

"Haha...no, just Mason. Sorry...guess I had too much sugar at lunch or something. Hahah...ha...ha." I finished awkwardly, turning away and mentally smacking myself. I climbed up to the top bunk and started going through my stuff. Hairbrush, shampoo, my CD's. I'd also stashed my necessites for boydom in there. Extra rolls of bandages, mostly. I was laying stuff out on the bed, when I accidentally bumbed my bag, and a few items tumbled out and hit Mikey on the back of the head.

"Ouch..." he muttered, laughing as he bent to pick up the stuff. I wasn't really that worried about it until I saw something on the floor. Uhoh! A boz of Tampax Pearl was laying just behind him. He hadn't seen it yet, but he was about to. I acted on impulse, not really wanting someone to find out my secret on the first frickin' day! I launched myself off the bed and jumped on his back. He shrieked like a girl, as I rolled off and kicked the tampons under the bed. "Ummm...okay..." Mikey said, rubbing his back as he straightened his glasses.

"Oh, god. I'm so sorry. I was...reaching down for something, and I just lost my balance and fell. Shit...sorry." I covered myself quickly, blushing with embarrassment. Great...now he thinks I'm a psycho killer or something. But instead of being frightened, he started to laugh. I was a bit confused at first, but then I joined him nervously, glancing around the room, not sure quite what to do.

"Sounds like something that would happen to me..." He said, handing me my stuff. I breathed a sigh of relief, and started to put my clothes in drawers. "Jeese, you pack light for staying here for six months." he said when I finished unpacking in like...ten minutes. I shrugged. I picked up a book from his bed where I was watching him put his clothes away neatly. Seemed like he liked everything organized.

"Invisible Monsters..." I read outloud, looking at the cover of the book. It had what looked to be a beauty queen with a splash of red over the lower half of her face.

"Yeah...it's really good, actually." Mikey said, not turning around. "I work at Barnes and Noble, and I found it in the back one day..." Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. We both looked up, confused. Mikey set down what a pile of shirts, and dissappeared around the corner to answer the door. "It's just my brother!" he called, having looked through the peephole. I continued to read the back of the book while I heard Mikey say hello to his brother. "Come on, my roomie's in here." I heard him say. "Mason, this is my brother." I finally looked up from the book, and froze completley, mid-smile.

Hazel eyes. Those were what stopped me. A pair of hazel eyes, twinking behind a fringe of wild black hair. I knew immediately who it was. The mystery boy from the office. I couldn't speak, just stare. He grinned. "Hey, I'm Gerard." he said, giving a small wave. And so the mystery unravels.

"M-Mason Foster..." was all I could manage. He smiled warmly, and I suddenly wanted to shout that my name was Blair Hunter and that I was acutally a girl. But I knew I couldn't....

Because it would ruin everything.

* * *

A/N: Eh...filler chapter. Not too pleased with it. I don't like writing with so much dialogue, unless it's really, deep, long conversations. Love writing character descriptions, though! Hope you guys aren't too dissappointed with it. I tried my best. Sorry, it's late. Im trying not to fail math, and she always gives us homework without explaining it, because we don't have time to learn the lesson. Sucks ass. Anyways...please review. I know I changed her character a little in this. Seems like she's a bit more reserved, huh? Sorry, but imagine her situation. She has no idea what to do... She's nervous. But I'm always looking for areas of improvement.

**Attention:**What would you like to see happen here? Anything you want her to do? I have the more serious plot outlined, but random, funny filler chapters are sketchy so far. Any ideas? I'll give you credit for them! Just PM me, or simply put it in your review. Thanks. Love you lots!

Love and Rockets,

MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear

**Song of the Week: **Hey Soul Sister by Train. (Luv that song, it's so pretty!)


	4. An Anthem for the Losers

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry that took so long. We went to Tennassee for a week for this competition thingy, and it's a long story, so just bear with me and enjoy the chapter. Hopefully it will turn out pleasingfull. Or some other invented word that a five year old girl would say.

**Word of the Day: **Spinifex - Any of several Australian grasses with tiny seeds or stiff, sharp leaves.

Why do we name our grass? Like, really...it's just the green shit that grows in our lawns. I don't really give a damn if my grass is Kentucky Blue or...California Purple, or whatever other grasses there are. It's grass, people...just chill.

* * *

**Chapter 4: An Anthem for the Losers **

**Blair's POV **

"Mason...uh...earth to Mason...Hey! Helen Keller!" I suddenly snapped out of my trance-like state, having been lost in those little hazel orbs. Mikey was waving an impatient, bony hand in front of my face, and snapping his fingers in pathetic attempts to get my attention.

"Sorry..." I said slowly, shaking my head as though to clear it. "I guess I just zoned out for a minute there." I set the book I had been holding down on Mikey's bed, and stood up, giving a manly stretch. Mikey gave a short laugh.

"Anyways, it's probably almost time for dinner. You wanna head down with us, Gerard?" Gerard nodded, and grinned at me again. He had this big, toothy smile that lit up his whole face. Mikey turned to me quickly, "Hey, that is, if you want to eat with us..." he said, hopefully. I opened my mouth to say of course, but then, an image of Frank popped into my head.

"Uhhh...I would love to-er-that'd be cool...man. But, I already told someone I would eat with them tonight." I said, stumbling over my sentence while tring to keep myself from saying anything that sounded too girly. They both shrugged.

"Hey we can probably eat all together, if you don't mind." Gerard suggested. "I mean, as long as you didn't promise one of those first class dickheads, I'm sure we could work it out." I snorted.

"Yeah...'cause I would really want to spend my dinner talking about pocket protectors and how to properly clean your tie, and protect it from flying mashed potatoes." They both looked confused for a moment.

"What are you talking about?" Mikey questioned, arching his eyebrows. I paused.

"Oh...I haven't told you about that, have I? It was no big deal. I just crash-landed my mashed potatoes onto some weirdo's brand new tie at the lunch thingy." Gerard started to laugh.

"Oh, I can just imagine that." he said, grinning that mysteriously, dark humor grin again. "Way to go." He stuck out his hand for a high-five. There was an awkward delay as I registered what exactly he was doing. And then I go in for the kill, and skid off the corner of his hand, totally lose my balance, and smack my head into a bedpost. Way to go, Blair. Now you have actual proof of your stupidity. And by proof, I mean the large gouge that should be embedded into your skull by now.

I just groaned, and rubbed my forehead, trying to shake off the embarrassment. Guys don't get embarrassed, Blair, I told myself over and over again. Mikey started laughing hysterically.

"Allright, lets see if we can make it down to the dining hall before you kill yourself or one of us." He grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me out of the room. "You are a real moron, you know that, Mason?" Mikey told me teasingly, walking a bit ahead of me and Gerard. Gerard grinned and then leaned in to whisper:

"Yeah, he should talk. Just last week, he fell down a set of escalators at a mall right into an old woman. She actually started beating him with her bag." I snorted.

"Hey..." Mikey grumbled, "I heard that."

* * *

The dining hall was buzzing with talk as we entered through the big double doors and into the chaos. All around us, boys in uniforms sat, chatting noisily, at the big, long tables. The teacher's table was at the head of the hall, crowded with old, crotchity men, and strict looking women who had shirt collars so high up, you'd think they were being submitted to some kind of cruel neck torture.

It looked like some sort of chicken was on the menu. Huge platters of it sat at certain points on the table, surrounded by bowls of soggy steamed vegetables, and baskets of stale bread. Yum...can't wait to dig in. I suddenly spotted Frank sitting alone in a rather empty section of a table. It was almost as though he had some sort of impenatrable force field around him. There was not a person in sight withing at least ten feet of him in all directions.

"There's my friend...er my man." I said, lowering my voice to a manly hum and pointing in Frank's direction. I started to walk to his table, and then turned to beckon to them to follow. Unfortunately, I didn't know that a certain asshole was right behind me. That blonde beach boy from this morning stood tall and proud, puffing out his chest. I cringed at the sight of him. His glowing perfection and that jerk-aura that simply emanated from him was just too much.

"Oh it's you again." he said rather angrily. "What're you gonna dump on me this time, pussy?" I gave a short, annoyed laugh.

"Nice cologne..." I said calmly. "I can smell across the hall. What's it called? Eau de Dipshit?" I gave a little smirk, and then turned to join Gerard and Mikey who were looking on in contentment. "Come on," I grabbed Mikey's arm, "lets go socialize with someone who's not a total prick." I jumped to land right behind Frankie, and tapped him on the shoulder. He whipped around.

"Oh, hey..." he said, catching sight of the other two.

"Mind if I bring some friends?" I asked, gesturing to them. He just grinned.

"Anything to take up seats so I don't have to have one of them anywhere near me." We all laughed and sunk down wherever. Frank's plate was loaded up with air, him being a vegetarian, and not having much of a desire to eat vegetables with the consistency of some foreign fungus.

"Doesn't dinner look delicious?" I said sarcastically, holding up a roll that had been burned to resemble a volcanic rock. I chucked it down the table and watched it bounce off some poor, clueless guy's head. We all laughed, and acted as though nothing had happened as he looked around in confusion. Suddenly, I heard the somewhat familiar rumble of Ray's voice from behind me. I turned and saw him standing there, looking more like a giant than ever, towering over of me.

"Hope you don't mind. I brought company." He pointed behind him. An adorable guy with slightly chubby cheeks, and a sort of teddy-bear like build stood a little behind Ray. He had strawberry blond hair that was spiked up into some sort of fo-hawk that actually suited him and his crystal blue eyes. He seemed a little shy, and a little quiet.

"Yeah, it's fine." Frankie said, "Mason brought extras too." He pointed to Gerard and Mikey again, who both smiled.

"I'm Ray Toro," Ray introduced himself, "and this is my room-mate Bob...er...what was your last name?"

"Bryar. Bob Bryar." The adorable dude piped up.

"Yeah...And, I guess you already met Frankie. Great...now we get to eat food." He sat down at the table and glanced at the chicken. "Nevermind...no one gets to eat." Bob sat down awkwardly next to me, looking a little nervous.

"Mason..." I stuck my hand out, and he shook it tentatively. Suddenly, a loud group of guys passsed our table, laughing. One of them purposely shoved right into Bob, who got jerked forward right into a dish of soggy green beans.

"Whoops, sorry. Guess I didn't see you there. I have a hard time noticing outcasts." the guy said, smirking triumphantly. Frankie suddenly shot up from where he was seated.

"Sorry, we're trying to eat some shit here, so if you don't mind, could you come back **later **so we can make fun of your sweater vest?" He said angrily, brandishing a fork.

"You little assholes need to learn some manners." The guy said, pushing Bob again so that the whole bowl tipped over and spilled into his lap.

"That's it, you asked for it." Frank barred his teeth and launched a greasy chicken wing at the guy's face. It smacked him square in the center of his forehead.

"Lucky for you, we won't have to worry about brain damage, seeing as there's nothing in there to damage." Frank said proudly, sitting back down again and folding his hands jauntily.

"Little faggot." the guy said, scooping up a handfull of beans that had been spilt onto the table, and launching them in Frank's direction. Of course, since I'm so lucky and all, my face was soon submerged in soggy bean juice. Lovely.

"Hey, what are you doing going and hitting him for?" I heard Gerard say angrily, blinded by the beans. There was the shuffling sound of someone getting out of a chair, and then the clatter of dish. I wiped the slime from my eyes, just in time to see the basket of bread go flying right into the dudes face. By now some of his friends had come to back him up, and were arming themselves with veggies and mashed potatoes. Lets not forget the apple pie for dessert. We stood in straight lines on either side of the table, holding various food-weapons, poised at the ready. No one moved. No one spoke. We were almost waiting for someone to initiate the fight.

Seeing as no one moved a muscle, I finally grabbed my platter of greasy chicken bi-products and climbed ontop of the wooden table. "Umm...I'm not really sure how you start a food fight, but I saw this in a movie once..." I said, thinking. "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" And I launched a leg of chicken at the opposing army. And the food flew. Potatoes whizzed past my face, vegetables skidded across tables, bowls hit the stone floor with large clatters. More than once, I was hit with various edibles, but I launched my items back twice as fiercely. Suddenly, a loud voice bellowed through the hall.

"Stop!" Without thinking, whipped around, in mid-throw, and watched a particularily large piece of chicken hit Headmaster Kirk in the jaw. A silence like no other filled the room. I shrunk back immediately, hiding in the shadow of Ray's big form as I waited for the explosion. "Just...what...do...you THINK YOUR DOING?" he bellowed. I cringed. "All of you...in my office! Now!" I looked at Frank, and then at Gerard. They both looked at me. I mouthed the word 'sorry', and started to trudge in the direction Headmast Kirk was pointing.

We were halfway to the double doors when I noticed the jerks weren't following. "Hey, what about them?" I said suddenly, pointing earnestly at them.

"I'll deal with them later. For now, it looks like you guys were the instigators of that fight. They were simply defending themselves.

"What?" I exclaimed. "They're the ones that-" He cut me off by raising his hand so that it was right in front of my face.

"I think you should let me do my job, Mr. Foster. So if you would, please just remain quiet and escort yourself to my office." I couldn't believe this! He was actually making us out as the culprits. What had our world become, that it bowed to the wishes of bleach-blonde snots who complained to their mommy's and daddy's about not having a new car, and then shoved kids into green bean bowls for no good reason? Sure, then scenario isn't exactly everyday, but it's something like that. Our society is one fuc-ked up system.

"Don't worry," Ray whispered to me, "We'll figure out some way to get them back. We always do." I just grinned and continued my walk, feeling a little like I was on death row, and was walking those final steps. What a lovely school environment!

* * *

We were all seated in an orderly fashion, in green, squashy chairs in front of Headmaster Kirk's desk. He adjusted his silver name plaque sitting on the desk, and then stared at us in a glare only equivalent to a pedophile's. I squirmed in my chair, nervous under his beady eyes. The room was filled with silence that hung thick in the air. How did they handle punishments around here? Was it like in nun times where they'd beat you with wooden paddles on the butt. Or did they hang you? The electric chair? Finally, he spoke.

"I don't know what you boys were thinking, starting a fight like that on the very first day. Do you have no respect at all?" We all opened our mouths angrily to defend our situation, but he would hear nothing of it, continuing on in a raised voice. "That was very irresponsible of you all. You ought to be ashamed."

"Hey..." Frank piped up feriously, "They pushed a friend of our into a dish of beans. I was just teaching THEM a little respect." The headmaster shook his head in a dissappointed way.

"Retaliation is never the answer, Mr. Iero." he said, pronouncing Frank's last name like ee-row, instead of eye-eer-oh.

"You said my last name wrong..." Frank grumbled, glaring. Apparently the misspronunciation of his last name was a bit of a pet peeve.

"Whatever the case, you boys have all earned a detention tommorow in my office at dinner hour." Headmast Kirk continued. He almost grinned, as though hoping we'd be dissappointed that we got to miss some more of the cafeteria's nasty "food". "Now why don't you all return to your rooms for the rest of the night. That way, we won't have to worry about any more trouble." We all looked at eachother, completely pis-sed off with the way he had treated us, and stood up from the uncomfortable chairs. "Wait just a minute, Mr. Foster. I would like a word with you."

We all froze when he called me back. I looked nervously at them all.

"Hey, it'll be alright..." Gerard said quietly. "We'll wait for you at the top of the stairs." I nodded, and they left the room, leaving me alone with...gulp...Kirk. He outstretched his hand, beckoning for me to sit down in a chair again. I walked numbly over and plopped down, fidgiting awkwardly as I waited for him to say something. When he didn't, I raised my eyebrows.

"I expected more out of you, Mason." He said, sitting down as well and leaning back in his chair. His quaff hair wiggled a little. I felt my eye twitch. "The others have been trouble-makers from the very start, but you seemed like a genuinly good kid." He smiled cheesily, showing his gap. "I really want you to get associated with some more responsible kids. He nodded his head, and suddenly his hair tilted to the side. He had a wig! I felt my eyes bug out. He didn't appear to notice it, and simply continued.

"I mean...aim for kids who care about their grades, and whether they get expelled or not." He gave his signature cheap laugh, though I found it hard to focus on anything but the fact that his wig was now on the side of his face.

"Mmm...hmmm..." I said absent-mindedly, my bugging eyes following his gradually slipping wig.

"I just want you to succeed, Mason." He winked creepily at me. "Now...go on and go back to your room. I'll see you tomorrow night." He grinned, and I shot from my chair without a word and exited the office, slamming the door. Clarette was sitting at her desk, shuffling through some photos. She looked up as I stumbled away from the door.

"Mason?" she asked, surprised. "What are you doing here, darling?" I shivered.

"He has a...the quaff...his head...bald!" I stuttered, twitching. She looked confused, as I pointed frantically at my head. Then she burst out with a melodic laugh.

"You found out his secret? What an awful wig, too." she said humorously. "I heard about the food fight, but I thought I saw the rest of the boys head back." I nodded and told her he had called me back in. She raised her eyebrows. "Yes...he does seem to fancy certain students. Treats them specially. Like sons, almost." She said, thoughtfully, brushing strands of her blonde hair away from her face. "Well, have a good night, darling." And she returned to flipping through the photographs. I was about to leave when I spotted her shoes. Cute little purple heels with a bow with a button in the middle on the tip.

"No way, I love your shoes!" I said suddenly. "I have a pair just like them at home!" I smiled, huge, reminiscing back to my closet. She furrowed her eyebrows. It took me a minute to catch what I had just burst out with.

"I mean...my **girlfriend** left them there...you know...my... super hot girlfriend." I thought for a minute. Why would a girl leave her shoes at my house? I gulped...er...guys liked...food...and sex...they liked sex. "You know...after she made me...nachos. And I banged her." There was complete and total silence. "Well, bye!" And I ran from the office, straight out the door, and directly up the stairs. Frank was leaning casually against the railing, with Ray sitting on the step below him. Mikey and Gerard were sitting on the same step, with Bob standing awkwardly behind them.

"There you are!" Frank exclaimed, raising his hands in the air. "What were you doing in there? Having a three-some with the French secretary?" He asked jokingly.

"Don't even tease about that..." I said, shuddering over-dramatically. "He really looked like a rapist. Oh!" I exclaimed at the end. "Guess what? He has a wig...It kept falling off when he was talking." They all started laughing hysterically.

"How bald was he?" Mikey asked, struggling to catch his breath.

"Mr. Clean bald!" I said excitedly, clutching my sides. After we all calmed down, everyone climbed to their feet.

"Me and Mason are on the second floor." Frank said.

"I'm rooming with Mason, so...second floor for me too. What about you, Gerard?" Mike asked as we shuffled up the stairs.

"Second, too. Room...er... 209." Gerard said, hesitating to remember his room number.

"Hey, I'm 211!" Frank said excitedly. "And I'm rooming with a total asshole!" He said this with a smile on his face, which made me laugh. "You have a girly laugh, Mason..." Frank said suddenly, grinning.

"Haha..." I laughed nervously. "You don't say..." I looked away, my face screwed up with nerves. Ray left us at our landing, Bob trailing behind him, giving a small wave paired with his adorable smile.

Everyone said goodbye to Gerard as we reached 209. He turned around and flashed that special grin. It felt like he was looking right at me with those stunning hazel eyes, and my breath caught in my throat. And then his messy head of black hair had retreated into his room. It happened faster than any moment, but yet it seemed to run in slow-motion at the same time. Then, me and Mikey left Frank at his room, and we continued down to our own.

"That was an interesting first day back. I've been coming here since freshmen year, but never have I had so much fun." He grinned widely, slipping his key into the lock and twisting. He threw himself onto his bed and stretched, yawning. "Hey Mason, what house are you in?" he asked suddenly, sitting up and narrowly missing banging his head on the rim of the bunk.

"B, what about you?" He groaned.

"Shit, I'm in A. No big deal, I guess. We'll still see eachother plenty." I brought up the fact that both Frank and Ray were in A too, hoping to cheer him up. He did seem a little brightened by the fact that he had SOME nice people in his house, at least. Even if they didn't know eacother very well, they seemed to get along at the very least. "Yeah...they seem cool. Nice..." he said thoughtfully. Then a thought popped into my head.

"So...er...which house is Gerard in?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but shifting nervously all the same.

"Not sure. But he's a senior, so it doesn't make a difference for us. He'd be in a different House A or B anyways." This brought my spirits down just a tad. I was hoping to be able to get to know him a little better. Oh well...its not like there was anything I could do about it.

"Sounds like I'm all alone in my house, then..." I said rather forlornly. Mikey stood up and patted me on the shoulder as he made his way to the sink and took off his glasses to clean them.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make it out alive. Hey, maybe that Bob guy is in your house." I nodded. He seemed like a nice guy, but just a little quiet for my taste. Oh well...it would be nice to have at least one nice person in my House, regardless of who it was. "I think I'm gonna get into my pajamas and then watch a movie or something. I brought my laptop." Mikey said, proceeding to rummage through his bag. I nodded. He suddenly started to take off his shirt and belt. Whoa! I stumbled back, attempting to shield my eyes. "You okay?" he asked as I banged into a chair, and toppled over it, backwards.

"Yeah..." I said, jumping to my feet. "I've uh...gotta go to the bathroom." I grabbed my pile of pajamas off the top on my bunk and dashed from the room. When I finally got to the bathroom, it was empty. I sighed in relief. I ran into a stall, and started to put on my pajamas, leaving the bandages in place. It was just Devon's Metallica shirt from a few days ago and some superhero sweatpants. They had every Marvel superhero EVER on it some place or another. Suddenly my phone started to ring Wasabi, so I knew it was Mag. I looked around to avoid danger, knowing that whenever she called, I would do something klutzy like spill mashed potatoes on someone's tie. "Hello..."

"Hola, Como estas?" Maggie said with a Mexican accent. I rolled my eyes. Ahh...highschool Spanish. What have you done to us?

"Estoy bien, gracias, y tu?" I said back, lowering the toilet seat so I could sit on it.

"Eh...bored. I've got nothing to do. How'd the first day go?" I thought my day over. It was pretty much totally un-summerizable.

"Ummm...interesting?" I said almost questioningly, trying to describe it accurately. "I mean...we got here, I dumped potatoes on some douche bag's tie. Then I met this guy named Frank, and then I met Ray. Then I met my roomie, Mikey, and then...then I met Gerard." I paused for a second. "Er...and then Bob, and then we started a food fight, I got in trouble, and I found out that Kirk wears a wig. It was a nice day..." There was a long silence on the other end.

"Okay then...My day was just a **teensy** bit less action-packed. Basically, I fed the little nuggets applesauce, wiped their asses, and then ate all the double fudge icecream in the freezer while watching Superbad after I put them to bed." Maggie said, filling me in on the details of her little nugget-sitting adventure.

"Eh...we can't all start food fights..." I said. "But yeah...at least no one suspects that I'm a girl. I mean...not that I know of, anyway. I guess maybe the secretary might think I'm gay, but..."

"So, got any information on their little...plot yet?" I groaned.

"Mag, it's only the first day. It's not like they're just gonna randomly walk up to me and feed me information. I've got to do a little snooping, but not tonight." Maggie sighed heavily.

"Well, then what **are **you doing tonight that's so important?" she questioned impatiently.

"Umm...tonight... WE DINE IN HELL!" I said, playing off of the first thing that popped into my head. My sleep-deprived, sugar driven, possibly concussed head.

"Did you hit your head again, Blaire?" Maggie asked, only half joking. I felt my neck shrink down into my shoulders.

"Maybe..." I muttered quietly, looking down at my bare feet. Maggie sighed.

"Well...you have fun dining in hell, and don't forget to bring the potato salad. I'm going to go pee and then play some Zelda on my freaking bitchin' Game Cube. Goodnight my love..."

"Goodnight...May the force be with you, young grasshopper." I said...ready to hang up the phone.

"I said I'm playing Zelda, not Star Wars. God...bitch..." Maggie joked. And with that, the line went dead. I rolled my eyes and stood up from where I had seated myself on the toilet seat that was probably infected with herpes by now. I will never understand the inner workings of that girl's mind.

I finally washed my face just a little, and then began to trudge back to the room. Slipping my key into the lock, I entered the now dark room. I was about to say that I was back when I heard a voice.

"No...no...you can't just rip her away from her family like that. It's just...so...cruel!" I heard Mikey's sobbing voice from around the corner. I poked my head in and flicked on the lights. He suddenly straightened up, and wiped his eyes, putting on a straight face.

"Oh...hey, Mason. I was...er...just watching Terminator. Yeah..." He said quickly, adjusting his laptop so that I couldn't see the screen. I spotted a DVD case for Memoirs of a Geisha laying on the floor by his bed.

"Yeah...Arnold Schwarzenegger's performance really brought me to tears, too." I said sarcastically, climbing into my bunk. "Goodnight, Mikey."

"Yeah...night, Mason." I sat there for a minute, trying to get used to how wierd it felt to have someone calling me Mason all the time instead of Blaire. Well, really, I was just trying to get used to how it felt to have my boobs taped down, but the other thing sounds more civilized...

* * *

**A/N: **Heya! Delay in my plan for weekly updates. I'm a slacker, and I'm proud of it. I think I'll get that as a bumper sticker someday. Hope you all enjoyed it. Again, I'm taking requests for any chapters.

I am in love with movies about highscool and boarding schools. They are excellent. A few of my favorites are: The Dead Poets Society (Excellent...funny, and tragic), St. Trinians (the new movie was stupid, but enjoyable. I personally like the old series better.), The Breakfast Club, Ten Things I Hate About You...the list goes on. Heh...see ya guys next time.

Love and Burnt Toast,

MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear

**Song of the Week: **Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. (That song is so pretty. It makes me feel empowered. Grrr! And I love the music video. It's so extremely versatile in the people. There's a nerdy girl(who is REALLY pretty in my eyes, actually), a kid that is trying desperately to get muscley, girl tired of fashion magazines, a cross-dresser, a gay couple, a teen with rebellious, non-comformative clothes, a girl with an eating disorder. It's never ending.) Christina, you made my week with this rather old, but VERY good song.)


	5. An Idiots Guide to Boarding School

**A/N: **Haha...hey guys. I just wanted to give a shout out to this girl who's been reviewing for this story pretty much every chapter. Her username is monzieslilneji. She's pretty frickin' awesome. And...she enjoys my retarded humor. Just to clarify to her...my name is not actually Blair, LOL. (Although I DO like that name...) and I do not work in an A&W. Sorry to crush your dreams. Wouldn't that have been awkward if you'd brought it up? LOL...

Pss...hey, if you review for me...maybe I'll give YOU a shout out, too. Haha...you'll have to review, first though. I'll make you sound awesome!

**Word of the Day: **Neoplatonism - Noun meaning: Platonism modefied in later antiquity to accord with Aristotelian, post-Aristotelian, and oriental conceptions that conceives of the world as an emanation from the One with whom the soul is capable of being reunited in trance or ecstacy.

What the fuck? What is that supposed to mean? All I understand is the word ecstacy. Drugs...sex. That's the limitation of my knowledge. Sigh...don't you hate it when you need a dictionary for the definition IN a dictionary?

* * *

**Chapter 5: Through the Gates of Hell: A Beginner's Guide to Surving Boarding School and Not Getting Raped by Pedophiles**

**Blair's POV **

The next morning, I was woken up by the shrill ring of an alarm that had been strategically placed on the bedside desk so that it blasted your eardrums to smithereens in the morning. I sat up abruptly and looked around, not being used to waking up in a dormitory. I was breathing heavily, when there was a large BANG beneath me. Mikey had sat up and smashed his head on the bottom of my bunk.

"Huh? Sound the alarm...Alert! The Russians are coming!" he muttered sleepily, rolling off the bed and landing with a thud onto the hard floor. This woke him up, and he jumped to his feet, looking around frantically. "Oh...okay...we're not really in war territory, Mikey. You're okay." He suddenly spotted me, looking down on him with wide eyes from where I sat in my bunk. "Umm...time for breakfast!" he said loudly, eager to change the subject.

"MMM...I think we're having a scramble today. Or, as I like to call it... Eggs-What-The-Hell." I said sarcastically, climbing down the ladder to my bunk and dropping onto the cold floor. I shivered.

"Why is it called that?" Mikey asked, looking through his drawers to find the right combination for his uniform.

"The chef took one look at his greasy egg scramble, said 'What the hell, why not', and dumped the nearest trashcan into the mixture before serving." I looked away nervously as Mikey tore off his pajama shirt and started to slide his boxers down. I had no interest in learning any more about the male anatomy. I had my seventh grade health teacher to thank for that. Let's just say he had a large array of lifesize pictures of giant penises.

"Aren't you gonna get ready? You have to get down to the dining hall quick if you want anything to eat that's not the texture of cement. And they don't have a large variety of food that isn't, so we'd better hurry up."

"I'm uh...I've gotta go to the bathroom first. Might as well get changed in there. Meet you at the landing?" I said quickly, already halfway out the door. Mikey looked a bit confused as I dashed off, but I saw him nodding his head as the door slid closed. I was suddenly in a sea of teenage boys. Some were already sporting their uniforms, while others slugged around, still in their pajamas with hair that somewhat resembled the nests of certain wild animals.

I gulped and made my way as quickly as I could through the crowd to get to the bathroom. It was full to the bursting with guys brushing their teeth and doing their hair. Some were in the shower, and others were using the urinals. I cringed and ducked into the nearest stall. I stripped down as fast as possible, re-tightened my bandages, and pulled on the uniform hastily. Then I hopped on one foot out of the stall, trying to pull my other shoe on.

I suddenly rammed into someone standing against the wall, and we tumbled onto the wet tiled floor. "Ow, hey!" They exclaimed. "Oh...hey Mason. What's up?" Ray was also crumpled on the floor with me, his hair soaking wet and only his pants on, his shirt and tie clutched in one hand.

"Uhh...hi..." I said awkwardly, jumping up off of the wet floor. He too climbed to his feet and brushed himself off.

"You heading down for breakfast? Frank stopped by my room and told me he was heading down, so he's probably got a table waiting for us. Not sure where Bob ran off too..." He craned his neck over a large pack of boys making their way to the exit.

"Ummm...yeah, actually. But I told Mikey I'd wait for him by the stairwell, if thats...er...cool with you. Man." I stuttered through the sentence again, trying to pick up some sort of manly aura to add to my words. Ray nodded, and started to pull his shirt on. I hadn't really paid much attention before, but Ray was ripped! His huge muscles nearly bulged through the shirt. Once he was decent, we started on our walk to the stairwell.

"Have you seen that secretary? Pretty cute, huh?" he said as we waited for Mikey.

"Um...yeah...She's cute. Haha... er...big...boobs." I glanced around awkwardly. Ray looked at me and chuckled. Thankfully, Mikey turned up mere seconds later.

"Phew, sorry...couldn't find my shoes anywhere. Turns out they got shoved under the bed. But you'll never guess what I found under there." He said, coming to stand by us. I felt my face go pale. "I found this random box of tampons! Tossed it in the trashcan, but I can't think of where it would have come from." Ray started to laugh.

"Yeah, really. Maybe some chick dressed up as a guy and stayed in that dorm." he said. I felt my eyes go wide. "Wouldn't that just be about the funniest thing?" He looked right at me, laughing and grinning. I gave a nervous laugh too.

"Haha..ha...yeah, hilarious. Oh look, it's Frankie." And I dashed off to join him at the table he was saving us. I was about to shout good morning when I noticed that Gerard was already sitting across from him. This made me freeze up for a moment. Before I could find my voice, Frank spotted me.

"Hey Mason, where's everybody else?" he said, holding up a glass of orange juice and beckoning me to come over.

"I-Um...they're..." I stuttered, snapping out of my stupor.

"We're right here, bitch." Ray said, slapping me on the shoulder. He laughed as he did this. I tried to as well, but just ended up hunching over in pain. That guy can hit HARD. Ray plopped down next to Frank and started dumping a bowl of crusty looking hashbrowns onto the empty plate in front of him. Mikey plopped down on one side of his brother, and just as I was about to sit down, Bob came huffing over to the table.

"Sorry...got lost on the way down. Took a wrong turn and ended up in some sort of wierd, abandoned library thingy. Anyways..." he sat down gingerly across from Ray, and stared at the food on the table. This left the only empty seat next to Gerard. I tried to look casual as I sat down next to him. He grinned and asked if I wanted any sausage. I didn't even like sausage, but I found myself saying yes anyways. He tossed three greasy lumps onto my plate and watched my eye twitch when some grease splattered my face.

"Haha...sorry. Here." he said quietly, reaching across the table to grab something. He pulled back holding a spotless napkin and pressed it against my cheek, shoving my face away gently and giving a small laugh. I felt my face heat up as I wiped my cheek clean. No one seemed to have noticed our small exchange. They were too wrapped up in finding edible food in amongst the toxins that had been served to us. All in all, everyone ended up with shreds of decent hashbrowns, a slightly singed sausage or two, and about half a pancake that wasn't quite as stale as the others.

"Okay..." Frankie said, banging one half of a pancake against the table and waiting for it to break into smaller pieces. "Somebody needs to make an emergency food run. I can't live much longer on stale bread and half decayed vegetation. I need Skittles, and tofu, and Hot Pockets."

"And sushi!" Mikey piped up, sniffing what looked to be a glass of milk. Save for the fact that it was blue and the texture of cottage cheese. "Oh, and coffee..." he added whistfully, staring off into the distance. "I only brought a limited supply of coffee." I suddenly saw Gerard's eye twitch. His hand clenched around his still wrapped silverware.

"You brought coffee?" he said in a croaking voice, his eyes cast to the floor and a dull breeze blowing his hair in front of his eyes. I looked around in confusion for an open window. "And you didn't tell me?" His head shot up and he glared daggars at his cowering brother.

"Er...it's not what you think!" Mikey stuttered, scrambiling up from the table and backing away. Gerard raised out of his seat in slow-mo... I felt my eyebrows shoot up. What was this? The Raiders of the Lost Coffee Can? Coffee Wars Epsiode I: Return of the Coffee Jedi?

"No...I think it's exactly what I think it is... TRETURY!" And Gerard shot out of the hall after Mikey who had hauled out as fast as he could as soon as Gerard had stood up.

"And that..." said Ray, standing up and dumping his leftover potatoes back in the bowl (there was no hope for sanitary requirements anyways) "Will be the highlight of the day."

We all stood up just as the bell for first classes rang.

* * *

"Okay...um...class scheduals." Frank said grumpily, licking his fingers clean of the salt he'd poured onto his breakfast. "I've...got...ugh, I have Literature." He groaned, and leaned his head back against the marble pillar we'd congregated around. We'd managed to rescue Mikey from Gerard's coffee masacre, and there were few injuries. Of course...we did find him holding Mikey to the floor and threatening to break his glasses if he didn't surrneder some of the coffee. I had no idea caffienated drinks were necesseary to survive in this world. Both coveted and addictive. Of course, coffee had never been my drink of choice. I prefered soda. HAHA.

"Hey, at least you don't have Latin." Ray chuckled. "I get to listen to some old hag making pig noises for a full hour. Fun. I'll probably end up shooting myself in the head before it's done." I gave them puzzled looks.

"Wait...I though you two were in the same house. Doesn't that mean you'd have the same classes?" I asked, trying to recall where my class schedual had ended up.

"Not nescessarily..." Mikey said, pulling out his own and taking a puff from his inhaler. "The houses are split up into two seperate classes. So...if you're in House A, then you'd either have Literature of Latin first. Same with House B, but two other subjects." I sighed. Jesus Christ. Why did they have to make everything so complicated here?

"Shit...I don't have my class schedual anywhere." I said, sighing and shaking my head. My first day and I was already screwing up. "Anybody know anyone who's not an asshole that's in House B?" I asked doubtingly.

"I don't know..." said Bob rather quietly, but with a large grin pasted across his chubby cheeks. "It depends on your opinion of me. Am I an asshole, or am I okay?" He gave a little chuckle. It was the first time I heard his laugh. I almost giggled, myself. His laugh reminded me of Devon's when your tickled him too hard. A cross between a dying muel and a chicken.

"Oh, you're in House B, too? Thank Ghandi, I was afraid I was going to be stuck comparing pocket protecters with the rest of asshole kind for an hour." I wanted to hug him. Just as long as I had somebody decent in my class thingy. Bob tossed me the schedual in paper airplain form, though we were no further than a few feet from eachother. It zipped through my fingertips and soared over my head. "Shit..." I muttered.

"Haha, nice catch, dick. Now we know why you came here. 'Cause we don't have a football team, so you don't have to embarass yourself at tryouts." I turned around a red head boy was sniggering with a group of friends. I narrowed my eyes to slits.

"Normally, I'd try to be nice and see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to stick my head that far up my ass." I grumbled, annoyed as I retrieved the schedual.

"Hey, what gives you the right to talk to me like that, faggot?" The guy said, angrily advancing. I didn't flinch. I would sort of blow my cover if I got scared and ran to hide behind Ray.

"I don't know...nothing seem's to have given you the right to be such a dick, though, so..." I shrugged my shoulders and grinned.

"That's it...I'm gonna teach you some manners, kid. You'll be sorry you messed with a third year." He rolled up his sleeves and craned his arm back, advancing for the hit. Okay...now was a good time to cringe and run. Who cares if I blow my cover? I really don't feel like dying today. I squinched my eyes shut and waited for the impact, but it didn't come. When I opened my eyes, I was looking at Ray's back. Puzzled, I peeked around and saw that he was holding the red head by the collar of his shirt and baring his teeth. The ginger shivered and pulled away a little.

"Don't piss me off..." Ray said darkly through clenched teeth, "I'm running out of places to hide bodies." The boy quivered and tried to break free. Ray finally lowered him down, and we all laughed as he ran quickly from the vicinity. I finally looked down at the schedual.

**House B Class Scheduals: Class One (1) **

**8:00 a.m - Chemistry  
9:00 a.m - History of Art  
10:00 a.m - Literature  
11:00 a.m - Lunch  
12:00 p.m - Sports/Equestrian (Sports: Mon. Tues. Thurs. Equestrian: Wed. Fri.)  
1:30 p.m - History  
2:30 p.m - Latin  
3:30 p.m - Arithmatic  
4:30 p.m - Break (Free period options: Dorm time, study in library/grounds, grounds walking, common room, tutoring in designated classroom)  
5:30 p.m - Dinner  
6:15 p.m - Mandatory Study Hall for House  
7:00 p.m - Free Period (Options: Dorm time, common room, leave grounds with permission until curfew)  
10:00 p.m - Curfew **

"Wow..." I said, wideyed at all the specifics. "Umm...this is a pretty tight schedual to follow." They all shrugged.

"You get used to it." Gerard said casually, glancing over his own schedual and folding it up. "I'm in House B, too." he added, "But...I'm a senior, so...I've got History of Art first. Not bad...I like art. Not so sure about the history part, though." I looked back at Bob.

"I'm in the same House as you, but am I in the same class?" I asked, wondering how we would work this out. Bob just shrugged. I sighed. "Well...I guess I'll just head off to chemistry, and hope they call my name in role call." Suddenly, Headmast Kirk and his wig were patrolling the hallway.

"Alright, get to class already!" he shouted at any lingerers. He caught my eye as he passed our little group and winked, smirking. I felt my eye twitch. Gerard laughed.

"Did he just check you out?" he asked in disbelief, staring at the Headmaster's retreating back. "I always thought he was kinda creepy, but I never really labeled him a pedophile." Mikey suddenly looked at his watch.

"We better hurry up, I don't wanna be late for Latin..." he said, looking a little anxious. "It makes it hard to understand later if you miss the first lesson." Gerard groaned and elbowed him in the side.

"You're such a dork." he said jokingly, helping his brother up from the floor. "You're lucky you have such a cool older brother to protect you." Mikey snorted.

"All this coming from the guy that used to come home crying every day in elementary school because he'd get his head shoved into a toilet or get locked in a locker. Yes Gerard, you are my idol."

Mikey followed Ray in the direction of the latin classroom, and Frankie said goodbye and strolled off casually to find his lit class. Something about the way he stopped at every window to look out onto the grounds told me he didn't really care if he got there on time. I laughed and rolled my eyes before turning to Bob, who was standing quietly by the pillar.

"Have any idea where the Chemistry class is?" I asked hopefully, having no clue, myself.

"Uh...I think I passed it on my way down here when I got lost. It's on the West Wing. C'mon." He started towards a hallway that branched off from the entrance hall. The two expanding wings on the ground floor were used for classes. The higher floors were used for housing of the staff and students. Also located on ground floor was the Dining Hall (of course), the headmaster's office, and a tiny library tucked away in a somewhat forgotten corner.

We finally found the classroom we were looking for and slid into it, all the students turning to stare as we looked for empty seats. The teacher, who was writing on the blackboard, didn't even bother to turn around as she said, "You're late, Mr. Bryar, Mr. Foster. Please find seats as quickly as possible. The lesson has already started, and we don't have all day." She finally turned around.

She was a strict looking woman with her hair pulled back into a tight gray bun. A pair of spectacles perched on the bridge of her nose, and her mouth was drawn in a taut line. I cringed and sunk into the nearest bench at one of the tables, not even looking to see who was already sitting there. There was only single seats left, so Bob was forced to plop down next to a snickering boy with chestnut brown hair. I turned to see who my partners would be.

There was a scrawny boy with glasses that bore a slight resemblence to Mikey, a burly boy with his blonde hair in a strict buzz cut, and...

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me." I said under my breath as I caught sight of my least favorite blonde glaring back at me. He smirked and leaned in across the table.

"You owe me a new tie..." he hissed, grinning and straightening the one he had on.

"Yeah...well, you just wasted five seconds of my life, so...we're even, kay?" I said angrily, placing my head in my hand and looking across at Bob, who was shifting awkwardly in his seat, as the boys at his table seemed to be sniffing him like prey. I felt sorry for that boy. The teacher suddenly spoke.

"Okay, I want to know what my students are interested in learning this year. There is, of course, standards that you will need to know, but there will be a little time left over for anything you are interested in learning about. Why don't you team up with another boy from your table and look through the books. Just write down anything in there that is a point of interest for you on a piece of notebook paper and turn it into me in about fifteen minutes."

I looked down at the book resting in front of me on the table. _Crazy for Chemistry: A Beginner's Guide to Chemistry_. "Listen..." said the blonde, "Why don't you two nerds team up, and I'll partner up with Jeremy here. That way you guys can get science boners together." He grinned and turned to the buzz cut boy. I looked at the scrawny boy sitting next to me.

"I'm T.J." he muttered quietly. I introduced myself, and then flipped open the book.

"Ummmm...I don't really know much about science shit." I told him, looking at the complicated words on all the pages. "Is there anything you're...interested in?" He shrugged.

"I may look like a nerd, but I'm really not into to all that school stuff. I like video games, myself." I looked up and grinned.

"No way, me too. I like Zelda, and Prince of Persia. Those are my two favorites." He nodded.

"Yeah...huge Zelda fan, too. I also like Call of Duty, and World of Warcraft." We spent the rest of our fifteen minutes discussing video games, and writing anything down on our sheet that we could remotely pronounce.

"Alright," the teacher interrupted our conversation about Night Elfs, "Time's up, I'll be coming around to collect the papers. No need to put your names on them. They're perfectly fine as anonymous." Suddenly, blondie knocked our books off the desk. How he did that sitting across on the other end of the table, I don't know. But I grimaced, and me and T.J. both bent to pick the books up. Damn these rich people! When we popped back up, the teacher was at our table, collecting our papers.

"Nice points of interest, boys." she said to blondie and his friend. "Yes, Max and Eric have the right idea." So that was their names. Max and Eric. Well, if they had the right idea, then surely we did a good job too. I just grinned proudly right back at them. They snickered in a shared inside joke of some sort. The teacher picked up our paper and studied it for a long minute. Her eyes became wide and her brows knitted together. Me and T.J. looked on in puzzlement. Was it really that bad? All we had put was stuff like chemical compounds, alloys, and shit... "Just what were you boys trying to do here? This is a school environment!" was all she said.

"What did we do?" I asked incredulously. She gasped.

"What did you do? I don't know, but my amazement at your immaturity might have something to do with the large pair of breasts you drew!" She turned the paper around, and sure enough, a pair of tits was drawn plain as day, in the middle of the paper.

"What-but-how?" I stuttered, looking back and forth between T.J. and the tits. (They were very nice tits, by the way...) I then caught sight of Max and Eric snickering at us. They must have switched our papers! "We didn't draw those!" I said urgently. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you the boy who started that food fight in the cafeteria last night?" she said suspiciously. I groaned. Oh great, here comes the hoodlum speech. "You are setting yourself up for trouble, . If you don't get put back in your place, you WILL be expelled from St. James. I will see to it, myself. Now...step outside of my classroom. This is no place for troublemakers." I sighed, hopped off of my stool, and trudged to the door before slipping outside.

Why was I the only one that ever got blamed for things? I wasn't mad at T.J. for getting away with it, it just kind of pissed me off that the teachers seemed to single me out. What had I ever done to them? Stupid Eric, or Max, or whichever one was the douchy blonde I kept bumping into. I looked down the long hallway. It was empty, and all the doors were shut tight, classes already in full session. What was I supposed to do? Wait? I really didn't feel like spending the next forty-five minutes waiting for the headmaster to come along and rape me, or something.

I started to walk casually down the wing, glancing out of the windows absentmindedly. I was just strolling past a maintainance closet, when the door swung open and a pair of arms shot out and pulled me in. "Ahhh, no, please!" I screamed as I was consumed in the dark of the closet. "I'm not really a boy, I'm just dressed like one! Please, I have tits**! I HAVE TITS**!"

"Way to go, Blair. Had that been anyone else, you would've blown your cover." A lightbulb was suddenly switched on and Maggie was standing in the middle of the small closet, her foot up a bucket. She was clad in black skinny jeans and a black trench coat with knee-high black boots. Her smokey blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses, and she clutched a small walkie-talkie in her hand.

"What are you wearing?" I asked her incredulously, trying to recover from the small heart-attack she had induced.

"What? This old thing?" she said, looking down at her outfit. "I don't know, I was watching The Matrix last night, and I guess I got bored." She shrugged and stepped off of the bucket. "This is interesting." She glanced around the closet, catching sight of all the mops and bottles of chemicals. "Please tell me your dorms are better than this janitor's closet." I snorted.

"Yeah, hardly. And I wouldn't be surprised if this turned out to be the kitchen. I though I tasted some Windex in the potatoes last night." There was a moment of silence. "What are you doing here? And why are you grabbing people from the hallways like a rapist?"

"Oh, I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was going alright. Is it?" I thought for a moment.

"Yeah, I guess so. The food sucks, and I just got kicked out of class because someone drew some giant boobs on my assignment. Other than that, it's not bad." Maggie laughed.

"Met any hot guys yet?" she asked jokingly.

"Haha...yeah, right, Mag." I said a bit nervously, a head of messy black hair flashing behind my eyelids. Maggie was too preoccupied with something else, though, to notice.

"So...uncover any dirt for me yet? What's the scoop, my little tranny?" I rolled my eyes and sunk down on the bucket.

"Nothing yet, Mag, but I promise, I'll try to do a little snooping tonight, okay? It's just kinda hard with all the classes and stuff." She looked dissappointed. Maggie was a very impatient person, and she liked things done ASAP. Well...she like OTHER people to get things done ASAP. She felt free to procrastinate on her own time as she pleased.

"Anyways..." she continued, sighing. "Nothing much has happened in the real world. Devon and me were trying to get money for an All Time Low/LMFAO concert that's coming to town next month. We were trying to have a car wash, but no one was pulling over. So Devon took all the signs and re-wrote them so they said "Blowjobs, 2 for 5 dollars". Then everybody started pulling over." I laughed. That sounded exactly like Devon. I kinda missed my friends, but the one's I was making here were pretty awesome, too.

Suddenly, the doorknob started to rattle. Maggie had locked it, so I wasn't too worried, but we soon heard the jangle of keys. "Shit!" I hissed. "They can't catch you here! You have to hide!" Maggie looked frantically around, but there seemed to be no place to go. I suddenly spotted a small washing machine crammed into the corner. I flung it open, shoved Maggie headfirst into it, and then banged it shut, before jumping ontop of it and sitting on the hood.

"Eww...I think there's some sort of black plague residue in here. What did they wash in here? Dead bodies?" I heard Maggie's muffled voice say. I shushed her as the door swung open. The janitor was about to walk casually in when he caught sight of me sitting cross-legged on the washing machine.

"Ummm...hello?" he said, very confused.

"Ummm...hey there. Mr. Janitor dude. Paul..." I said, catching sight of his name tag. He looked even more puzzled by my nonchalant response.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" He asked, peeking back out at the empty hallway. Maggie suddenly sneezed from within the washing machine. I threw my hands up to my face and pretended to sneeze.

"Oh! Excuse me, that's my allergies acting up, there." I said hurriedly, trying to cover for her. There was a muffled banging noise accompanied by some rustling.

"Did you hear that?" The janitor asked, looking around for the source of the noise.

"Ummm...oh, look! You have paper towels! And, might I say, those are the best brand of paper towels to buy. Oh yes..." I squinted forward to read the label on them. "Viva paper towels are defintely my first choice in...towels of the...papery variety." His eyebrows rose as I rambled on. He was probably on the verge of calling the police to come take me to a mental institution. "Oh, look at the time. You really must be going, Paul. You must have loads to do." I hopped off of the washer and swung my arm around his shoulder, attempting to usher him out.

"Hold on, young man. Just what did you think you were doing in there? Students aren't allowed in the maintainance closets without permission." He was starting to look a little angry. I had to think quick. I couldn't risk another detention. I'd promised Maggie I would snoop around, and I already had one tonight.

"Ummm...well, you see- The truth is...The truth is...I was- I was getting chased by some jerks and they were calling me a faggot and stuff, and threatening to beat me up. So I- So I hid in the closet to get away from them. I was just about to come out and check if the coast was clear when you walked in." I quickly made up on the spot. There was a moment where the janitor seemed to have no emotion towards my story whatsoever. And suddenly, his eyes were tearing up, small little tears slipping over and running down his scruffy cheecks.

"Oh, don't worry, lad! I was bullied as a kid, too. I was terribly overweight, you see." He wrapped me suddenly in a bonecrushing hug.

"Er..." was all I could say, glancing around the hallway to make sure nobody was watching. He clung to me and sobbed. Huge, moaning sobs. I tentatively reached my arms around his back and patted his shoulder. "Er...there, there, big guy." I muttered.

"I mean...they just...they just called me all sorts of names!" he continued, his voice in the kind of tone a crying six year old has. Where they sort of whine the whole time they talk, and squeak at any moment. "They wouldn't stop! And they just locked me in lockers, and pushed me off of playsets, and chucked their peanut butter sandwhiches at me!"

****TWENTY MINUTES LATER** **

"And then, when I was sixteen, my mom put me into therapy, because she though it might help. And after that, I never saw Reynaldo again. I quit school, became a janitor, and never fulfilled my dream of becoming a male porn star." He continued to sob relentlessly into my shoulder until the bell rang to signify that classes were switching.

"Er, it's been great talking to you, Paul, but I should really get to class." I said, waiting for him to release me. He finally did and stood up, sniffling.

"You're right...I need to get back to work." He wiped his eyes with the back of his large hand.

"Ummm...but yeah, just keep- Just keep following your dreams. You'll...succeed." I told him, looking a the tear stain the size of Africa that was soaking into my right shoulder. He thought for a minute.

"You know what? I will follow my dreams. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a video camera, some chains and a whip, and an underage girl. See you around, kid." And he was off, prancing down the hallways. I blinked twice, waiting to wake up. Bob was suddenly pushing through the sea of people that had flooded the halls.

"Hey, where'd you go? What happened while you were in the hall. I thought I heard someone shouting about paper towels, but that mighta just been in another classroom."

"Uh, yeah, must've been. 'Cause nothing exciting happened out here. Yup..." He looked at me a little funny.

"Anyways, we have History of Art now. We'd better get going, or we're going to be late for that one too." I told him to go on ahead. I had something I needed to grab from someone. When he was a safe distance away, I swiftly slipped inside the supply closet, and threw the door of the washing machine open. Maggie tumbled out, covered in a sticky black substance that smelled of mold and urine. She just looked at me.

"Er...sorry..." was all I had to say.

"I was locked in there for nearly half an hour..." she muttered darkly. "I will NEVER think of washing machines the same way." And with that, she flung the door of the closet open, strutting down the halls still in her Matrix outfit and covered in black goo. Let's just say, more than one person did a double take when she passed.

* * *

A/N: Haha...I like writing the end. It twas fun. Well, I better hurry off and take a shower, or I'm not gonna have time. Heading over to my friends to watch an anime show we all like. It will be fun. But not if I smell like a dying animal.

Got any suggestions for my story? Any ideas for future chapters? REVIEW!

**Song of the Week: **The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You by My Chemical Romance (Haha...ironic, right? My fave song by them, though. So pretty!)

xoxo, Love and Frozen Baby Legs,

MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear


	6. Secret Agent ManWoman

**A/N: **Hola. Just discovered these wonderful little things called Toastum's. Handy little muffin tops you stick in your toaster. Yum...

Anyways...my days are pretty dull lately. Not boring, just nothing TOO wonderful. So...I'm just going to start IMAGINING what I did today. So...while I was absent from fanfic, I umm... Took a roadtrip to California, saw the Beatles live in concert, made the world's largest donut, jumped ontop of Chuck Norris, and took the frickin' eightfold buddah path. Wow...I had an exciting day.

What did YOU imagine you did today?

* * *

**Chapter 6: Secret Agent Man-Woman!**

**Blair's POV **

"Oh my God...I think my brain has been reduced to little more than a pile of mush..." I muttered, sighing and flopping down on my bed. I had had quite a demanding day. So far, I had been kicked out of class for a pair of tits that I DIDN'T draw, played Dr. Phil with a janitor, and now had a stack of homework that was beginning to reach Mt. Everest standards. Not only that, but I still had detention with...twitch...Kirk. I shuddered and shut my eyes tightly.

It was currently the break hour right before dinner. And by the time that had rolled around, I didn't feel like doing much more than chilling in my dorm room. Mikey hadn't yet returned to the room, so I had it all to myself. I hadn't been in contact with anyone other than Bob since a couple hours ago when we were changing classes, and I saw Frank and Mikey walking to their gym class thingy. I was pretty sure that was their last class of the day.

I glanced at the bedside clock down below me. It was 5:14 already. I wondered where Mikey was. It was only fifteen minutes until we were supposed to be down in the detention room with Kirkus over there. I looked around the room once more, almost checking to make sure he wasn't hiding behind a corner or something, and then I whipped out my cell phone. I quickly dialed Maggie, and waited for her to pick up. But...a couple of rings later, I had her answering machine blaring in my ear.

"Hey this is Mag, I'm not here. You know the drill..." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey Mag, it's your lover." I said randomly, "I'm uh...gonna try and do some snooping around tonight, so don't call me between 5:30 and...7:00 ish. I'll text you if I find anything interesting. So..." The door to the room suddenly banged open, and Mikey wobbled in, followed closely by Frank. Both of them were breathing heavily and sweating. "Umm...And that, is why I screwed her, and then went to Burger King for a Whopper. Gotta go, bye." I hung up the phone as the pair of them collapsed to their knees and then layed down on the floor, pressing their faces into the ground.

"The floor is so cold..." I heard Frankie's muffled voice say. They both started moving their hands in a snow angel fashion. I raised my eyebrows.

"Er...what exactly happened to you guys?" I asked, climbing off of the bunk to observe their strange ritual more closely. Mikey raised his head off the ground so that he could look at me.

"They held us late for gym class..." he said, still breathing hard.

"To run two miles and do fifty situps..." Frank finished the sentence, his face still burried in the floor. He stuck out his hand for me to help him up, and I grabbed it and pulled as hard as I could. I wasn't making much progress. "Ugh...why do you have to be so weak?" he said laughing, and finally pulling himself up. Mikey rolled onto his back.

"Well...guess we better get down to the office. Wouldn't wanna be late for our detention!" he said in a falsly cheerful voice. Me and Frank looked at eachother, and both of us kicked him lightly in the side as we left the room.

* * *

Twitch, twitch. Shuffle, shuffle. Yawn, stretch.

These were the sounds that filled the empty waiting room down in the office. We had all re-joined our little group at one of the large pillars, which we had deemed our official meeting spot. Now we were sitting on chairs and the floor of the seemingly empty office. We fidgeted impatiently as we waited for some life form or another to turn up and explain to us why we had been waiting for ten minutes all for a detention. Clarette must have been at dinner, because the cluttered desk which she normally sat at was empty. Kirk was nowhere to be seen either.

"I dare you to go into his office and see what's going on, if he's even there." Frank said dully, staring absentmindedly at a picture Clarette had pinned up on the bulletin board behind her desk. She and what looked to be her father were standing outside of their house in France.

"No way..." Ray said, "And find him screwing some chick? I'd rather not see anymore of Kirk than I already have to. Please...his gap and quiff hair are enough to make me gag as it is." We all chuckled a bit, in rather bored, flat voices. As I watched the door to his office intently, I saw the handle begin to twist, and shushed them. Oh...I hoped he hadn't been listening. Wouldn't another detention be just perfect? But while I was waiting for a little quiffed head to poke out, someone else just as equally umpleasent stepped out.

"Yes, I will see you sometime tomorrow then, Eric." Headmaster Kirk followed my least favorite blonde out of his office, and waved him goodbye. So his name was Eric, was it? Jeese...just his name makes him sound like an ass hole. (No offense to all you peeps named Eric out there.) Eric shuffled a bit nervously out of the room, acting as though none of the rest of us were there. Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but it almost looked like he was...crying? What was going on? Was he being expelled? I almost scolded myself when I found that I was smiling at this thought. But then I remembered how awful he'd been to me, and the guilt immediately disappeared.

"So..." Headmaster Kirk turned around, his gap glaring down at us, his wig cocked just a bit to the side. I heard someone snort. Thankfully, they managed to disguise it as a sneeze. "For your detention today, I have decided to do something a bit different. Normally, I would simply have all of you sit in a supervised classroom and write an essay on your behavior." He paused for a moment and this gave me a second to look around at the other's reactions. I got a bit bored of listening to Kirk ramble on and started imagining what each of them was thinking, judging by the looks on their faces.

Mikey: _"Oh...I hope he doesn't give us extra homework. I wanted to finish Memoirs of a Geisha tonight. Hehe...good thing I disguised it as Die Hard. Wouldn't want anyone to think I was gay or something. Haha...ha..." _

Gerard: _"Wonder if Mikey has any coffee left hidden in his room... How far would he go to protect it? I should probably bring a knife..." _

Ray: _"Oh god, his gap! It's like someone built a grand canyon in his mouth!" _

Frankie: _"Wonder if I could run fast enough to get out of here. Maybe I should hit him first. Yeah...he looks like he'd take a hit like a pussy." _

Bob: _"But there was that time I was five and I thought I saw a unicorn...Yeah, I tend to imagine things. I probably shouldn't say anything about the UFO that abducted me last night. It's probably just a side effect of the weed I did last week...Yeah..that's it. Haha...ha...ha..."_

I randomly burst out laughing at myself. They all turned to look at me. "Erm, sorry...I just-I just thought...nevermind..." I sunk down into my chair.

"Ummm...anyways..." Kirk said, sounding rather miffed at my interruption. "You'll be helping out the janitor, Mr. Craven tonight. He has a bit of work for you to do around the building. I hope you haven't eaten dinner. The toilets can give you a rather weak stomach." He laughed at his own joke. We all just looked at eachother. He cleared his throat quickly, catching on that we didn't find his humor very amusing. "Yes, well...he's waiting outside my office for you. He'll tell you what to do. Run along."

We all stood up slowly out of our chairs and trudged out of the office. I groaned. I hadn't cleaned so much as my room in five years, let alone a whole building! I mean...just think of my bedroom. It's not like I pull out the feather duster every night, put on some pearls and heels and vaccum to shitty classical music. This is 2010, baby. Not the 60's. But, sure enough, my little janitor friend was waiting for us outside of the door, a large bin of cleaning supplies at his feet. He looked up from the Good Housekeeping magazine he was reading when we stepped out, and quickly stashed it behind some Mr. Clean in the bucket.

"Ahem...Hi, everyone." he cleared his throat a bit nervously. "Well...Headmaster Kirk has asked me to come up with some chores for each of you to do seperately, but erm...well...I think what I have to have you do is going to be kinda hard for one person, so I'm just gonna put you in pairs." We all looked at eachother and smiled. Either this janitor was clueless as to what sort of thing teenagers get up to when paired with a friend and told to go run around a deserted castle, or he was just being REALLY nice. He cleared his throat again and then said:

"So umm...why don't you two go together." He pointed to Ray and Mikey. "And...you with the brown hair...you can go with er...him..." This time he pointed at Frankie and Bob. That left...gulp... "Okay, and then you guys can partner up." I looked nervously over at Gerard, trying to put a casual grin on my face. He just smirked at me. I bit my lip and looked away, wondering why it felt like the room had suddenly grown about ten degrees hotter than before.

"Alright...the first pair of you can go to the West Wing and just...try to get to as many classrooms as you can. You'll be sweeping and scrubbing the tables down." The janitor continued, sending Ray and Mikey off towards the West Wing. "And...you, blondie. Yeah...you and your partner can go do the same thing in the East Wing. And you two..." he looked at me and Gerard as Bob and Frank wandered off to the other wing. "I think I'll have you two guys moving some boxes from the basement up to the headmaster's office."

Oh great...now I get to showcase my MASSIVE muscles. Sigh...I'll probably drop one going down the stairs, and just kill everyone on the way down. RIP, Gerard. Suddenly, someone was waving their hand in front of my face. I looked up from the spot I had been studying on the floor, and saw Gerard bending sideways to meet my eyes.

"You coming, or are you just gonna stand there and make me do all the work while you play Where's Waldo with the floor?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and quirking an eyebrow. I blushed. I knew he couldn't help it, but he just had this odd way of being seductive without trying. I shook it off and gave a short laugh.

"Haha...no, I'm coming." Mr. Craven pointed us in the direction of the door that led to the basement and told us to look for a stack of boxes with printing paper in them. Gerard opened the door, and swept his hand forward, down at the darkened stairs.

"Please...ladies first..." he said jokingly. It was meant as a snub to my manly aura, but he had no IDEA just how right he was. I brushed it off and came back with a little snub of my own.

"I know...that's why I'm waiting for you." I shoved him forward, through the door and he almost fell down the stairs. That's it, Blair...just go ahead and kill your friend. Way to go. He turned and waited for me to follow.

"You coming or what?" I looked past him and down at the pitch black darkness we would have to descend into. I gulped. I wasn't afraid of spiders...I wasn't afraid of heights...I wasn't even afraid of death. But, when it came to the dark... Well...let's just say I've slept with at least one light on since I was five. There's just something about being in a place where you can't see anything, and having to leave every sound up to the imagination. And usually, your imagination in the dark is rather umpleasent. But I nodded, and followed after Gerard.

I took it one step at a time, fighting the urge to run back upstairs as everything got darker and darker until I couldn't even see my hand a few inches from my face. I started to shiver. And not just because it was kind of chilly down there. "We'll have to find a light." I heard Gerard say somewhere ahead of me. "Too bad he didn't think to give us flashlights...Why do we even go to school here? It's run by a bunch of complete idiots."

"Gerard! Where are you?" I said anxiously, stumbling around blindly and looking for him. I heard him laugh somewhere, but he didn't respond. "Gerard?" My voice cracked in anxiety. Oh jeese! What? Was I going through puberty or something? The room fell silent. Not so much as a shuffle disturbed the eerie silence. The only sound was my heavy breathing. "Gerard, where are you?" I hissed, spinning around. There was no response. Oh no! I was going to die down here! I just knew it! And then I froze. I could sense no movement whatsoever. I could hear nothing. I could see nothing. All my senses had failed me, and I felt like I was about to cry. And then...

**"BOO!" **

I jumped backwards in complete terror and smashed into something warm and hard. I hit the floor, but it was softer, and whatever was beneath me let out a groan. I screamed and rolled off of it. Suddenly, a light flicked on. Gerard was standing, his hand clutched around the cord to the light bulb above me, and he was laughing. "You scream like a little girl!" he said breathlessly, letting go of the cord to clutch his sides. I kicked him in the shins, and he sank to the floor, not even caring that he was in pain. "You afraid of the dark, Mason?" he asked, trying to control his laughter. I glared at him.

"Hey, I'm sorry..." he said, grinning. "I didn't mean to offend you. It was just the perfect opportunity. I couldn't pass it up." I just shook my head.

"Well, then come on, Mr. Fearless, you telling me you aren't afraid of anything?" I challenged him, cocking my head to the side.

"Well, now that you mention it, I'm not actually afraid of anything." He said. Oh great...his ego was inflating as I spoke. I had to puncture this little "Macho Man" bubble quick before it got out of hand.

"Nothing? You're not afraid of anything?" He shook his head proudly, both of us still kneeling on the ground. He stood up and offered me his hand. I didn't take it, but got up myself. He smirked at me, and I felt any annoyance at his ego melt away. Oh god! I was being such a girl!

"Nothing...I am absolutely, POSITIVELY fearless." he said. Suddenly, something came around the corner.

"Hey guys..." was all it said, but Gerard screamed wildly and jumped ontop of me. I was almost crushed by his weight. Either that, or I was just REALLY weak. Sigh...knowing me, it was probably the second option. Once he caught my smug expression, he immediately got to his feet.

"Not afraid of anything, huh?" I said jauntily. "Yeah...I'll believe it when I see it. Hi, Paul." I waved at Mr. Craven who had been the one to come out from behind the corner.

"Is everything alright down here?" he asked, looking back and forth between me and Gerard. I just grinned and nodded.

"Yup...everything's fine..." I looked at Gerard and smirked. He flipped me off while Mr. Craven wasn't looking. After we assured Mr. Craven that nothing was actually going on down here, we started the task of carrying the heavy boxes up what seemed to be an endless flight of stairs. Just the first one was practically unberable. By the time we got to the top of the stairs to put them in a pile by the door, my knees were about ready to give way. Gerard laughed.

"Here..." he said, chuckling and taking the heavy box from my arms. He set it down by the rest. "You're just like my brother. Skinny as a post and with the muscles of one, too." I ignored him and retreated back down the stairs to go get another box. When we finally had all of them upstairs, it was time to move them into the headmaster's office. Gerard kicked the door open and peeked in. Clarette was still absent from her post at the desk, and even Kirk had left to go do something or another. We shrugged and started dragging the boxes into the empty waiting room.

Suddenly, I remembered that I was supposed to be poking around for Maggie. All the stuff with Gerard had taken my mind off things. I set my box down and looked nervously from the door to Kirk's office, and the door to the main office. It didn't look like anybody would be returning any time soon so I quickly shuffled over to Kirk's office and slipped in. The desk in the middle was spotless, and the chairs seemed to all be in place. "Umm...Mason? What are you doing?" I heard Gerard say in the other room. Oh yeah! How was I supposed to explain why I was snooping around the office?

"Ummm...I'm looking for...blackmail." I lied quickly, hoping he wouldn't be opposed to it. But instead, I heard him chuckle.

"Oh, sweet. You mind if I help? I would sure like to have something against this guy after all those years of him yelling at me not to run in the halls, and giving me detentions, and just having a gap. I mean...really? You can only look at that thing for so long." I thought for a moment. Actually...it might be helpful to have someone else looking with me. It might get things done faster. I mean...it's not like he had to **KNOW** exactly what it was I was after. I nodded.

"Yeah, sure...Just...look for anything that might be embarassing, or...I don't know...illegal." I thought I might as well throw that in there, just in case he came across something important. He didn't seem to notice my odd request, though, and immediately stepped into the room. I assesed the spotless desk. There was nothing on it but a jar of pens and pencils, his name plate, a pad of Post-It's, and an empty coffee cup. Gerard picked up the coffee cup first and looked at it forlornly, turning it to show me there was nothing left but cold, black dregs.

"Put it down..." I sighed. After he rested the mug back in the brown, cup shaped stain it had made on the desk, I opened the top drawer quietly and peeked inside. "Oh my god..." I said in disgust, slamming the drawer shut and making gagging noises. Gerard looked over from where he was opening a filing cabinet.

"What?" he asked curiously, sliding the cabinet closed and walking over to see what my disgust was directed at. I shook my head, and pointed at the drawer I had just slammed shut. He slid it open slowly, and took a careful look inside. I saw his eyes bug as well, but instead, he reached in. "Oh wow...meet Kirk Junior." he said, lifting his hand out of the drawer and holding the object at arm's length. For in his fingers he gingerly held up a large, purple vibrator. "Party's over, Kirk..." he said, laughing and dumping the batteries into the trashcan. He quickly put the vibrator back in the desk. "Let's leave that drawer alone. I don't want to contract Syphylis, or Asshole Disorder, or something."

I nodded frivilously and pulled open the other top drawer, groaning as I saw the contents. It was stuffed full of manilla envelopes, all addressed in red permanent marker to St. James. I grabbed one off the top of the mountainous pile and opened the flap, pulling out a piece of neatly folded paper. I muttered the words on it to myself as I read it over. Gerard poked his head over my shoulder. "What is it?" he asked, looking down at the black lettering on the top of the page.

"I think it's from a bank..." I said, turning the page over, only to find that it was blank. "Yeah...looks like a bill. And from the looks of it, not very many of these were paid. This one says it's like the final warning for them to pay the amount due." I glanced down at the total amount that was supposed to be sent in, and gasped.

"What?" Gerard asked anxiously, craning his neck over my shoulder and trying to see the smaller print. I pointed to the impossibly high number. "Oh my god! Thirty thousand dollars in debt? What the hell? How in fucking hell can you get that much in debt? There's no fucking way we'll ever be able to pay that back!" Gerard exclaimed, not bothering to lower his voice as he cursed loudly. I shushed him quickly, using my hand to cover his mouth.

"Shhh! What if someone heard?" I hissed, looking around nervously. Suddenly, we heard a door swing open in the main office.

"-talk in my office, why don't we? We'll be able to get everything settled in there. I think you'll be pleased with the amount I have managed to scrape up." We caught the end of Kirk's conversation with a mystery person. "Oh! Looks like the boys finally got the boxes up. Good, good..." I looked at Gerard with my eyes as wide as saucers, only to find that his reflected the same kind of earnest. We heard double sets of footsteps towards the door, and quickly scrambled under the desk, curling up in the farthest corner away from where Kirk would sit. I was so nervous, I couldn't contain my next exclamation when I noticed we had left the drawer open.

"Oh my god, the-!" Gerard covered my mouth swiftly with his hand and shut the opened drawer before pulling me back so that we were both huddled in the corner. In fact, I was practically in his lap. I gulped, trying not to get preoccupied with his closeness. I had more important things to worry about right now. Like the fact that the headmaster's nasty feet were about to be approximately five inches from my face!

The sound of the door opening echoed through the room. I squirmed nervously, Gerard's hand still over my mouth. It was probably a good thing that it was, too. I was about ready to let out a squeal of pain because Gerard's shoe was digging into my shin. He moved it when he noticed, whispering a quick sorry.

"Yes, please take a seat, Tom." Headmaster Kirk said, his feet coming around to stand behind his desk. He pulled out the rolling chair he usually sat in and plopped down, scooting closer towards the desk and crossing his legs. His pant legs creased up a bit, revealing shin high socks with little kittens all over them. I pressed Gerard's hand harder against my mouth to keep myself from laughing. He too, was trying with all his might to contain his chuckling. "So..." the Headmaster continued, "I have come up with an amount of money that I think will subside you until the rest of my debt can be paid off." There was a brief pause.

"How much exactly?" the man he was talking to asked from the other side of the desk where he was sitting. There was a rustling sound, and Kirk suddenly opened a drawer to his left. He was frighteningly close to dipping his head JUST low enough to see a us. I braced myself for the worst, but it never came. He simply pulled an envelope out, and straightened back up. Both me and Gerard sighed quietly with relief, and I could feel myself getting a bit less tense.

"Take a look for yourself." Kirk said, and there was the sound of someone ripping open the envelope. There was another short pause, and we could hear the man muttering numbers to himself. He must've been counting the money in the envelope.

"There's well over ten thousand dollars in here! You're comfortable keeping such a large amount in just an envelope?" The man said in awe.

"Actaully, there's sixteen thousand dollars in there. I had it in a safe in the basement before, but I moved it up here about half an hour ago so that I could hand it over easily." Kirk said. "So...I believe that will cover it for now, will it not, Tom?"

"Well, yes...I suppose it would. But might I ask sir...where on Earth did you aqquire such a large amount of money?" Kirk scooted away from the desk, and stood up, pushing the chair so far in, it was half an inch from smashing into my nose. Both me and Gerard cringed back immediately.

"Oh, Tom. What are you suggesting? That I sold my liver on the black market? Ridiculous. We've simply had many new students lately. Just enough that I've been able to scrape up some extra dough to pay my debt." Either it was just me, or Kirk sounded a little TOO defensive for my liking. It was a bit strange that someone had just come up with over fifteen thousand dollars in CASH. It's not something that happened everyday. The man named Tom must've stood up too, for there was a shuffling sound, and soon both him and Kirk were exiting the room.

"Oh, of course not, sir. I was merely curious." Tom said, his voice fading as he left. The door shut, and Gerard released his grip on my mouth. We both sighed loudly in immense relief. And then we started laughing quietly, remembering Kirk's kitten socks.

"Man..." I said, giggling, "**I **used to wear kitten socks when I was like...SIX." I laughed for a minute, before realizing that little boys probably didn't wear kitten socks. But Gerard laughed, too.

"Um...you were a very metro little boy, weren't you?" he asked good naturedly. I just shrugged. Suddenly, I noticed that I was still practically ontop of him, and I quickly climed off, feeling embarassed.

"Come on...let's get out of here while we still have a chance." We crawled out from under the desk, and quickly made our way across the room, carefully opening the door, and slipping out. We were closing the door, when we heard a voice behind us.

"Boys?" We turned and saw a rather stunned looking Clarette sitting at her desk. We weren't quite sure what to say. Would she tell on us? We stuttered out random nothings for a moment, looking nervously at eachother the whole time, before she let out one of those little french sounding giggles. "Oh you really are quite the trouble-makers, aren't you, dears? Well...I won't tell if you don't." She winked at us. We spluttered thank yous, stunned that she would be so...go with the flow. "Now hurry up and get out of here before they come back. You're supposed to be in detention."

We said another thankyou, and quickly ran from the room. Once we were outside, we stopped by our pillar and sank down to the floor. A though occured to me while we sat there in silence, catching our breath. "Where do really think he got all that money?" I asked, leaning my head back against the sturdy pillar. Gerard was laying on the floor.

"Who cares? Where do you think he got those socks? His grandma?" He chuckled half-heartedly. I yawned and pulled out my phone and turned it on to check the time. It was only 6:30, but I was exauhsted. It had been a long, and interesting day. Suddenly, I noticed that I had a message from Maggie. I turned the volume down on my phone and looked at Gerard. He was lying face up with his eyes closed, humming the tune to Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns and Roses. I placed the phone up to my ear, and played the message.

"Umm...hey, Blair, got your message. And...might I just say? What the hell are you talking about? First of all, **who** did you screw? And more importantly...why didn't you get **ME **a Whopper too, bitch? But, anyways...I know you told me not to call you, but since when do I listen? Your phone's off, so... What did you find? Tell me you found something! I gotta go. Me and Devon are trying get some free tacos from this Mexican in a stand we found in the middle of nowhere. Well, bye!"

I groaned, causing Gerard to crack an eye open and look at me quizically. I shook my head. "I just got a message from my mom is all. Making sure I packed extra underwear." He laughed. Huh...I was getting better at this whole cover story thing. I looked back at my phone and opened up a fresh page to text.

_Mag, chill. I didnt rlly go 2 BK. My roomie walked in. Srry. ;D Found out Kirk's in major debt. Came up with alot of $$, though. Fishy 2 me. Call later 4 more details. 2 hard 2 explain in txt. Luv U! _

_Blair _

I sent the message, and resumed the peacefull silence. It was about five minutes until everyone else showed up. Ray and Mikey returned first, looking soar from all the chores, and smelling strongly of chemicals. "You guys got it SO easy! Carrying a couple freaking boxes up the stairs? We had to slave over desks and floors, you lazy asses." Mikey said, coming to plop next to me. Ray remained standing. A few minutes later, Bob and Frankie turned up, too.

"I don't know why anyone would wanna do that for a living." Frankie said in an agitated voice. "I mean...other than the fact that you pretty much get high off of Windex, you just scrub some floors and desks." He swayed slightly. I wondered how much time they had actually spent cleaning, and how much time they had spent inhaling fumes and making concoctions instead. Paul soon hauled himself up from the basement where he had been apparently laying mouse traps.

"Alright, guys...you can probably head back to your rooms now. Think everything's all finished. Thanks for the help." He grabbed his bucket of cleaning supplies, and started walking towards the West Wing, probably headed to my signature supply closet. I heard my stomach growl.

"Great...we spent all night tidying up this place, and now we get to go to bed hungry. Ugh...I feel like I could eat a horse." I groaned, rubbing my empty stomach. I needed FOOD! You know me, I can only go so long without eating something processed in factory. Like...Cheeto's for example. I would give anything for a bag of Cheetos right about now. We were all standing up and debating whether to go find a wandering student to sacrifice and roast because we were so hungry, when the door to the office opened, and Clarette peeked out.

When she assesed that we were the only one's in the hall, she quickly hurried out, a box clutched in her arms. She clicked over to us in her stilettos, grinning. "Alright..." she said in that thick French accent of hers, "I know you were supposed to miss dinner hour, but I just can't stand to have you go hungry, darlings." She grinned widely, and handed us the box. "They have just TERRIBLE food here. It makes me miss my mother's cooking SO very much. So, when I heard that you would be going without your dinners, the part in me that is like my mother just HAD to throw something together for you."

We looked inside the box. There, packed neatly inside, was a wide array of food that actually looked...edible. A dozen wrapped sanwhiches of all kinds were piled inside, as well as a large bag of potato chips, a paper bowl of yummy looking fruit salad, and a plate of strange, but delicious looking cookies. "The cookies are my mother's special recipe. Hazelnut Creme cookies. They are fabulous." Clarette said. I was beginning to really like this skinny French chick. "I hope you enjoy, but I have to get back to work. Good night, darlings." And she left us with our big box of delicious food. We all looked at eachother in awe.

"Yeah...remind me to get her to come back to my house next summer and cook for us." Bob said, picking up a sandwich. "My mom can't make ICE." We all laughed.

"Yeah, Bob...Because **COOKING** is **ALL **you would want her to do." Frank said sarcastically, looking for a sandwhich without meat. We all laughed even harder at that. I looked around.

"Hey, we'd better go eat this somewhere else. I really don't feel like having Kirk or someone steal my cookies." Everyone agreed with my proclamation, and we all tried to think of a good place to go.

"Hey!" Bob said suddenly, looking almost excited that he could help, "When I got lost this morning on my way down to breakfast, I found this weird old, deserted library place on the second floor past all the teacher's rooms. We could eat there." We all stood up immediately, eager to chow down. We practically ran up the steps, and to the left, past all the teacher's rooms, finally coming to a stop at an empty room. Walking in, I noticed that it really did look like a deserted library.

It had pale yellow walls, with book shelves lining them. A couple round tables were scattered across the floor, with wooden chairs waiting to be sat in. There weren't very many books up here, but there were a few. I wondered why the school would have two libraries. Gerard picked up a book off the shelf.

"A History of Black Magic..." he read aloud, studying the plain black binding with curly gold lettering on it. "This must be like a collection of banned books, or something." He said, looking at the other ones which were about many other gruesome things. Like serial killers. I picked up one.

"Dare Truth or Promise?" I said. "Oh, hey! I've read this! It's about this girl who likes theater, and she falls in love with this other girl, and they have to play lovers in this one play because they go to an all girl's school. It's really good." I said, wondering why they would ban a book like this. There was nothing gruesome about it at all. But everyone was now too preoccupied with the food. I shrugged, and tucked the book under my arm before going over and starting to devour the food as well.

* * *

Two turkey sandwhiches, about three cookies, and a good helping of chips later, me and Mikey were trudging back into our room. We had already dropped the others off at theirs. I was just about to unlock the door, when I noticed that I yellow flyer had been taped to it. I tore it off and began to read the large, black print, Mikey poking his head over my shoulder to see.

**Costume Dance  
Tomorrow, at 7 pm, we will be having our annual costume dance with St. Bridget's School for Girls  
Costumes aren't mandatory, but are appreciated  
Dinner will be served with the girls from St. Bridget's as our guests for the meal. A special feast will be prepared  
The dance will be held outdoors in the back of the school grounds in a designated area  
Students will be allowed to leave the grounds tomorrow at break hour to get costumes because of the short notice **

"Huh...I forgot about that..." Mikey said. " They have that dance every year. It's pretty much the only thing fun we do all year. We should all go as cross-dressers. Wouldn't that be funny?" He laughed. I didn't even bother to **pretend** to laugh at that one. I opened the door and walked in.

"Umm...we'll figure it out tomorrow. You wanna come with me to find a costume?" I asked. I wanted someone to come with me. He nodded. I was climbing onto my bed when he asked me something a bit random.

"Hey, where's Gerard?" I looked at him, puzzled.

"Umm...well, we dropped him off at his room a couple minutes ago. I guess...I assume that's where he would be." I said. Mikey looked around nervously, and then rushed over to the dresser, pulling a drawer open and rustling through some shirts. "Ummm, Mikey? What are you doing, exactly?" He suddenly pulled back, holding a large, red tin of coffee. He cradled it under his arm, and then extracted a coffee maker from his suitcase, plugging it in. I raised my eyebrows as he pulled out a mug, too. Wow...he comes prepared. "Um...why do you have a large pot of coff-"

He cut me off before I could say coffee, waving his hands urgently and jumping up off the ground. "Do NOT say the C word." he said, looking around as though God himself were about to strike him down with lightening for even bringing it up. "You never know when Gerard might be listening." I rolled my eyes.

"Is he really THAT obsessed with coff-Sorry...er...that drink?" I asked, forgetting that the C word was now forbidden. Mikey nodded his head in earnest.

"Really, you have no idea what that boy will do to get some of this stuff. But...while I making some, would you care for a mug?" He pulled out another mug and held it up. Jeese, what did he do? Just pack a whole Starbucks in his bag, or something? I peeked down from the bunk, trying to see like...a little counter and a cashier in his bag. I shook my head eventually. Like I said...I wasn't really a coffee person. Mikey shrugged. "Suit yourself..."

He set the mug down, and turned on the machine, cracking the tin of coffee open quietly. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. Mikey, looked up, startled. "Oh my god, it's him!" he yelled, knocking coffee all over the floor. "Holy shit, he can smell it!" He tried frantically to scrape the coffee back into the pot. While he was freaking out, I rolled my eyes and went to go answer the door. It was only Frank, asking if we wanted to go costume shopping tomorrow with everyone else. I told him yes, and noticing Mikey scrambling to hide under the bed, decided to tease him.

"Hurry, Mikey! He's coming for you!" I shut the door and ran to where he was hiding. I bent over to see him hiding under the bed. "I don't know if he's gone, but I managed to shut the door in time. You might have to stay up all night just to be sure he doesn't come in and strangle you, though." I teased. Then I stood up and crawled onto my bunk, waiting for him to start laughing at my joke. But then...five minutes passed. And then ten...

"Mikey...you're not really gonna stay under there and stay up all night right, 'cause it was just Frank who was at the door." I told him. There was a long pause.

"Er...yeah, I knew that. I was just...counting the dust bunnies." he said, shifting out from under the bunk. I just looked at him pointedly and rolled over. Ah...what a loser. Exactly the kind of person I would hang out with. Hehe...

* * *

**A/N: **Eh...I'm not too pleased with this chapter, but it's sort of a filler, and sort of important. Bet you can't wait to see what's gonna happen at the costume ball! You'll just have to wait. And review...REVIEW.

**Ahem...please take a moment of silence in memory of Michael Jackson. He was my homeslice, and today is the one year anniversary of his death. So...respect the king. RIP MJ**


	7. A Tale of Two Crossdressers

**A/N: **You know...I wanna find out what National Day it is today. Hold on...Imma Google it. Umm...what the hell? Today is the National Visitation of Mary Day? Come on...that's great and all, but I wanted something more exiciting. Like...tomorrow is National Compliment Your Mirror Day. And the day after that is National Tom Sawyer Fence Painting Day. I'm not even kidding. That's actually what it says. Visitation of Mary Day? Yeah...no offense, but that's not really...exciting. LOL

**Word of the Day (Which I Forgot to Do For the Last...Million Times): Homburg - **A man's felt hat with a stiff curled brim and a high crown creased lengthwise.

I don't know...they seem like pretty beastly hats to me. Maybe I should make Kirk wear a homburg hat. LOL...wouldn't that just be golden.

* * *

**Chatpter 7: A Tale of Two Crossdressers **

**Blair's POV **

The next morning, I found that my eyes managed to drag themselves open before the alarm even went off. I peeled myself off of the bed and sat up, rubbing my puffy eyes. Glancing at the alarm clock down below me, I noticed that it was a whole hour before anyone had to be up and moving. I peeked down at Mikey and saw that he was curled up peacefully under his layers and layers of covers. And then I noticed what he clutched in his hands as he slept on.

"Most people sleep with teddy bears. Mikey...sleeps with his coffee can." I said quietly to myself, crawling down from my bunk and slipping the can from his arms before placing it on the bedside desk. He groaned a bit and rolled over, but stayed asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and ran my hands through my newly black and red hair. All of this still felt a little odd. I mean sure...I was having a pretty good time, but...there was this constant feeling that I was out of place. And I was. I mean...hello! I'm a girl in an all boys boarding school. I knew Maggie had strange ideas, but I never imagined it would come to this.

Looking at the clock once more, and realizing that only two minutes had passed, I resigned in going back to sleep, grabbed my cell phone from off the top of my dresser, and set off to the bathroom to change into my uniform which I clutched under my arms. I stumbled sleepily down the hallways, yawning and scratching my head in early morning itchiness. Maybe I should take a shower now while no one was up. I grinned at the thought of actual running water. I wasn't exactly living in the wilderness, but it was close enough with all these boys swarming around. I mean...the only guy I was used to hanging around with was gay and he had PRETTY good cleanliness.

As I turned into the tiled wonderland of the bathroom, I heard a strange noise. A gurgling sound and lots of groans. And then a sharp burst of laughter echoed through the room. I poked my head around the corner and saw two pairs of legs congregating in a stall, laughing and messing around. Curious, I inched closer and saw a third pair of legs crouched by a toilet. There was more splashing and suddenly a small voice squeaked out. "Please...really, I have bad asthma! This is really unsanitary!"

I suddenly got what was going on. The two assholes standing were giving some poor nerd a Whirley. I stomped forward with rage. "Hey! Excuse me, the two dicks standing in the stall! Can I have a word?" They both turned around in confusion, having not expected anyone to be up yet. They were two boys I didn't recognize. They were both relatively short, and both had dark hair. They cracked their knuckles when they saw me. I tried not to let their menacing expressions frighten me. "Ummm...it's kind of petty and cowardly for you two boys to go against one guy. I mean...two against one? That's hardly fair."

They started walking towards me, their features darkening with rage. I gulped and started to back up, finally bumping into the sinks. "Look, guys...I'm sure there's a perfectly logical way to work this out. Maybe we just need to talk about- Ahhh!" One of the boys grabbed me by the collar of my pajama shirt and pressed me against the wall. I don't know about you, but at the moment I felt I could probably get sexual assault charges. I winced as he grinned, blowing a stream of disgusting morning breath into my face. I choked on the bitter stench that filled my nostrils.

"My dear fellow...you've been mis-informed." I said, my eyes watering. "It's toothpaste you're supposed to brush your teeth with, not cow manure." His grin faded away and was replaced with a scowl.

"Listen, punk...I'm gonna give you two minutes to drag your little homosexual ass out of here, or you're next in the toilet. Got it buddy?" he said through barred teeth. I tried to push the arm that was holding my shirt away to no avail. He eventually released me, eyeing me like he was debating whether or not it was safe to let me leave. Not that I had any plans to. "Now...get out of here before I change my mind." Suddenly, there was a call from the stall where the other boy had returned to make sure the poor nerd didn't escape.

"Hey, Mike! Jesus Christ! I think he's passed out! I think I held him under too long!" The one that had been restraining me whipped around in shock.

"What the hell did you do that for? If he's dead, we're so screwed! Let's get out of here." And both boys raced out of the bathroom like the cowards they were, reminding me that I "hadn't seen anything". I nervously creeped towards the stall they had been horsing around in. Oh God! What if he really WAS dead? I took a deep breath and peeked in. There, slumped over the toilet was a small figure with dark brown hair. I pulled him backwards tentatively, revealing his face.

"T.J.?" I said incredulously. It was the boy I had met yesterday in Chemistry. His glasses hung off of his face at an odd angle, and he clutched an asthma inhaler limply in his hand. "Holy shit!" I said, starting to freak out. I can't handle dead people! "Okay, Blair...chill, chill. He needs CPR!" I shoved him down on the floor and brought my face close to his, taking a deep breath and preparing to breathe some life into this nerd whether he liked it or not!

But just as I was about to move in, his eyes snapped open, and he used his arms to push my face away. I yelped in surprise, thinking he had been...you know...dead. "Dude!" he shouted, sitting up. "Relax...I was just playing dead so they'd leave us alone." He wiped his sopping hair out of his eyes and took a puff from his inhaler. We were both still crouched on the flithy floor.

"You okay?" I offered him my hand as I stood up and he took it, bringing us both to our feet. He nodded, walking over to grab an endless stream of paper towels to dry himself off with.

"Yeah, I'm used to it. Those jerks always pick on me. But...I guess it's sort of my fault. I'm kind of a weakling around here." he laughed to himself lightly and scrubbed at his face, trying to rid it of traces of disgusting toiet water. I found myself frowning at what he had said, though. It wasn't right to shove people around because of their status. I'd spent enough of my school career being bullied and tormented because of my eccentric style. The beautiful multi-colored disaster that my hair was, and all my edgey clothes. A threat to the careful school society.

"Well...you shouldn't have to be used to it. When I see those guys again, I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind." I said angrily. Okay, maybe more like...I would have Ray give them a piece of my mind for me, thinking of their grim faces and knuckle cracking technique. T.J. laughed a little bit.

"Yeah, okay...You'd better go ahead and write up a will, then." He tossed his wad of paper towels into the trashcan nearest him, and turned to walk out of the room. "I'll see you down at breakfast. Thanks for sticking up for me and all, but...Don't go and get yourself killed. Picking a fight with them is basically suicide." He gave a small wave and then exited into the hall. I grinned to myself. So...he didn't think I was trained in the art of revenge. He didn't know how wrong he was. After all, I grew up with a little brother that liked to steal my stuff. Trust me...I had had plenty of practice in the revenge department.

I checked the time on my phone. I still had fourty-five minutes left, but I planned on taking a long shower. I checked all the stalls to make sure they were completely empty, and then started to undress. It felt so good to take off those annoying sweaty bandages. I sighed and turned the water on full blast before hopping in and breaking out into a shameless chourus of Lady Gaga's Alejandro. Ahh...it's good to be a girl again. If only for half an hour.

* * *

"Hey, Mason! Over here! We saved you some deep fried mystery meat!" I had just walked into the bustling dining hall, fully dressed in my uniform and squeaky clean. Frankie was calling to me from across the hall, waving a fork in the air. I grinned and walked over. Everyone was already down except for Ray, and scavenging for edibles. As was the case, most everybody's plates were empty. I plopped down next to Frank and blushed a bit when Gerard grinned at me from where he sat diagonally across from me.

"So...any plans today, or are we just gonna go hide under the headmaster's desk again?" he said, taking a bite out of a sausage link. The rest of everyone looked at us, utterly confused.

"Umm...is 'hiding under the headmaster's desk' code for some bizzarre sex posistion?" Mikey asked, looking at his brother in concern. We all laughed.

"Nevermind that..." Gerard said, spitting out the sausage into a napkin. "We seriously need to make plans to run to the grocery store. I can't take this any longer."

"Too late for that, Way!" bellowed a voice from behind us. We all turned and saw Ray walking proudly towards the table, bags filling up his arms. He brushed bowls and plates out of the way and plopped them all down in the center of the table. "Ladies and gentleman..." I looked around nervously, before remembering it was just an expression. (Hehe). "Get ready to proclaim me as your new god. For I...have brought you all a feast fit for a king." And he dumped the bags upside down, revealing the wonder of REAL food.

A large box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, a package of beef jerky, strawberry Poptarts, two bananas, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of chocolate syrup. Oh...it certainly was a breakfast for a king. A...rather obese king, but...as none of us were exactly at risk of obesity, I figured it was okay. No one even bothered to thank Ray, though he had been expecting us to get down and bow, and we just started to grab whatever we could get our little hands on. I filled my plate with Cinnamon Toast Crunch, grabbed a banana and a handful of potato chips, and dumped a thick stream of chocolate syrup all over it. Eh...I was skinny enough. I needed some fat on me anyways.

"How'd you get out without anyone knowing? The store is miles away." Bob said in amazement...shoving a piece of beef jerky into his mouth. Ray shrugged, and I could tell his ego was starting to inflate. Jeese...what was it with these guys and their egos?

"Ehh...I called a friend of mine that owed me a favor and had him take me out at 6:00 a.m." I thought for a minute. That was the time I had gotten up. So...someone else **had** been up at the same time as me.

"So...about that costume ball thing. You all in to go down to the costume shop in town and pick out something cool?" Frank suggested, dipping a chip into a puddle of syrup on the table. We all nodded. Frank suddenly looked at me. "You ever been down to the costume shop in town, Mason?" I almost laughed.

"Yeah...I guess you could say that I have..." I said, thinking back to shopping around with Maggie and Devon for all our disguises. Then I thought of Maggie and her little pregnant belly, and Devon in his pedophile moustach. I felt a little bit of nostalgia well up inside me. I must have been looking distant, because Mikey started waving his hands in front of my face. Everyone laughed at my spacieness.

"Yeah, we should all go down at break. We can...er...how are we going to get into town?" I asked, thinking. None of us seemed to have cars. Gerard chuckled.

"We're going to call a cab, of course. What were you expecting? A spaceship manned by a team of well trained monkeys?" he said, flinging a piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at me lightly. I opened my mouth and caught it, smirking.

"Of course not!" I said, picking up a sophisticated tone to my voice. "If nothing else, I was going to have you carry me all the way into town. Now if you'll excuse us...Bob and me have to run to class. I have no desire to get in trouble with that woman yet again." And with that, I grabbed a piece of beef jerkey from Gerard's plate, winked, and spun around on my heel before walking proudly out of the room. I peeked behind me as I was halfway across the hall, and saw all of them sitting there with stunned expressions at my behavior. Ah...boys will be boys...

* * *

Classes passed in a blur. I found a seat next to Bob for most of them, and we spent a majority of the lessons passing random notes to eachother and snickering at anything we found amusing. Since it was Thursday (Damn...I've been here for almost three days already!) we had sports outdoors down at the field. The coach, who was a burly man with his brunette hair shaved down into a buzz cut, his face thin with sharp features and piercing grey eyes, spent most of the hour and a half yelling at me and Bob and T.J. for not being able to do the amount of pushups required. I couldn't help it. I was tired, and my arms were like limp noodlums.

"Alright!" the coach, whose name I now know is Mr. Brekke, yelled. "Lesson's over. Now you ladies who couldn't do thirty-five measly pushups..." he glared at me, Bob, and T.J. "Will be staying behind to help pick up the materials." Everyone else had a good laugh and then hustled off, probably to go to the locker rooms. I gulped. Holy shit! The locker rooms! What was I supposed to do? It's like a plathora of naked men! I felt myself break out into a nervous sweat.

The other two boys groaned and we all set out to pick up the many bright orange cones and balls that were scattered all over the stretch of field. When we had finally collected everything, the coach ordered us straight down to the locker rooms, and told us he wouldn't call our next teacher and tell her why we were late for class unless we were out in five minutes tops. I felt my eyes grow wide. Oh great...and now I had a time limit, too. We soon emerged ourselves in the sweat haven that was the locker room.

Tiled floors and walls were thick with moisture, and it reeked strongly of damp socks and mildew. The rows of shitty lockers were interspersed between long metal benches that showed vigorous years of abuse. I gulped, never having changed in here before. Yesterday, we didn't even HAVE to wear uniforms because we just went over rules and guidelines and stuff. And I had changed **into** my uniform in the bathroom today. Bob casually walked over to the locker where he stored his uniform and wrenched it open, letting it all tumble down to the soggy floor. Then he started to remove his gym clothes. (The gym uniform was just a yellow St. James t-shirt paired with knee-length black shorts, and tennis shoes.)

T.J. did the same, both of them shamelessly exposing themselves to the open air and public eye. If you counted our eyes as the public eye, that is. I found myself simply standing there, trying not to stare and not even motioning to take my clothes off. "You gonna change or, what? I'm not worried about that time thing. Who cares if we're late for History. It's the most boring class. I don't care WHO blew up Napolean or why Columbus sailed the ocean blue. They were all just a bunch of assholes anyways..." Bob grumbled on and on about his dislike for history, neither me nor T.J. really listening.

"Um...yeah, but...I'm just gonna go to the bathroom first." I said, dodging into the area that was used for bathrooms. The long green stalls that sat in a formal line down the wall were thankfully all empty, as everyone else was probably already up at the main building for the next set of classes. I slipped into one and rushed to change into my uniform.

"What's the matter in there?" Bob called from outside of my stall. "You have too many burritos for lunch or something?" I heard T.J. snort with laughter. It was true...there had been Mexican food on the menu today. Unfortunately...it really just looked like an animal of some sort had taken a dump on some tortillas, but...you take what you can get. I pulled on my shirt and rushed out, flinging my tie and blazer on.

"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go!" And we all rushed out of the locker rooms at warp speed.

"Hey!" Mr. Brekke yelled as we flew past him and up towards the school, not bothering to stop. "You wimps took seven minutes in there!" We all turned around simultaneously and flipped him off, hoping we were now too far away for him to really see any details.

* * *

It was now 4:30. Break time, to be exact. I was exhausted, my brain was fried, and I couldn't wait to get out of this place for a little bit. It was just me and Bob, slumped by our meeting pillar, waiting for everyone else to get done with classes so that we could go down to the disguise shop in town and buy costumes for tonight. "So..." I said, bored with just sitting there in silence, "What's up with the girls from St. Bridget's? They hot, or are they all a bunch of weirdos with head gear?" I pictured girls in plaid skirts with frizzy hair in little braids and large, metal head gear wrapped around their skulls. And big glasses. Bob laughed...

"Naw, they're all right. Most of um are stuck up little princesses, though. But...a few are decent looking AND nice. They're all filthy stinking rich, but...then again...so are most of the people here." He flicked a ball of lint off the shoulder of his blazer and we both watched it fall to the floor.

"Hey, motherfuckers. I was worried I was gonna be the first one here, and then I'd have to pay for the cab. It's a good thing you two losers got here before me." Gerard was walking towards us from the West Wing, grinning wildly. I felt my more boredom dissappear and turn into immediate fascination and eagerness. I hopped up.

"Too bad we didn't think to call the cab. It's a good thing you're here now, though. Now you can call..." I grinned cheekily at him, making him roll his eyes. He eventually pulled out his phone, though and called the cab for us. Sigh...it's so easy making boys do things. Yeah...woman power! Even though...they all though I was a guy. Hmm...am I contradicting myself? I puzzled over this for the remainder of time until the rest of the guys showed up. We all complained about the boring classes for a couple of minutes, and then Mikey was sent to go check out with Clarette. He came back five minutes later, blushing and looking down at his shoes.

"She...complimented my tie..." he said, grinning. Gerard laughed outloud.

"Dude...we're all wearing the same ties!" he said, punching his brother in the arm. "You're such a loser. I can't believe I get to have YOU as my dorky little brother." We all laughed at Mikey's red face, and stumbled out to wait in the parking lot for the cab. We all sat down on the curb, and Gerard plopped down next to me, pulling out a package of Marblo Reds.

"You smoke?" I asked curiously, never having seen him do so. He nodded solemnly and jerked the package away when his brother reached for one.

"Uh-uh, not you too, Mikes..." he said, putting the package back in his pocket and lighting up. "It's a nasty habit, anyways...I'm not having you get hooked, too." Mikey looked a bit dissappointed at this claim, and sat down, pouting, on the other side of his brother. "I should probably quit sometime..." he said, looking distant, but not really sincere. A few minutes later, the cab pulled up. Gerard threw his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out, hopping into shotgun. He grinned and we all crawled into the back, muttering plots for his death.

As there was only three seats in the back, me and Mikey (being the lightest), were forced to sit on people's laps. Mikey plopped down ontop of Frank who groaned and attempted to shove him off. I crawled awkwardly in and sat gingerly on Ray's lap. "Okay...now that I feel like Mason and I are gay lovers...let's hit the road." he said, leaning his head back against the seat. Gerard nodded to the taxi driver and soon we sped out of the St. James parking lot and down towards town.

We arrived after about twenty minutes of complete insanity right in front of the familiar costume shop. And let me tell you...the ride down was far from uneventful. It had been filled with total chaos, and I was extremely surprised that the driver hadn't kicked us out. Not even five minutes into the drive, Mikey managed to elbow Frank in the balls by accident, and Frank yelped and attemted to shove him off, almost causing poor Mikey to fall out of the open window. Then Bob and Ray started beating eachother because of some Yo Mama joke Bob had apparently said. Unfortunately, I was caught in the middle of it and was punched particularily hard in the neck.

But...we managed to make it out alive, the driver looking more than happy to see us gone. We made Gerard pay and then pushed our way into the doors of the shop. It was more crowded than I remembered it last time, with people bustling all over the place. "Oh great..." Frankie groaned. "There's a big sale...Now the whole place is gonna be completely empty and we'll end up with some little girl's fairy costume." I laughed a little bit and pulled a tinkerbell dress off of a nearby rack.

"Oh, Frankie...I think I've found the costume you were talking about." I waved it in front of his face and he pretended to be excited. We wandered a little bit further into the back. I was crouched by a display of capes when someone VERY familiar popped out from behind a rack of sale items. "Mom?" I muttered under my breath. I quickly dove towards a rack of something random, unfortunately making a big clattering. She looked down at me. My eyes went as wide as saucers. How was I supposed to explain why I was in a costume shop dressed as a boy when I was supposed to be up at Maggie's cabin? But her face showed no sign of recognition.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she asked me. I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God! She had no idea it was me. But then again...it's not like she was expecting to see me here.

"Er...no...I was just looking at some of these." I turned to see which rack I was crouched by and saw that it was filled with various costume bras and other lingerie. My mom raised her eye brows, but...being used to strange behavior from having me as a kid, just shrugged it off. Suddenly, her eyes turned critical. I felt myself shying away.

"You know..." she said slowly, leaning in to get a closer look at me. "You look an AWFUL lot like someone I know...Yeah...you look really familiar." I felt my palms getting sweaty.

"Er...well...I-" I stuttered, trying to think of what to say. But thankfully, Frankie came to my rescue.

"Hey Mason!" I heard his voice from somewhere in the store, "I've got a costume for you." And then I heard several chuckling voices.

"Um...well, that's my friends." I got up hurriedly and dashed away to find Frank. Holy shizzle! That was close! What was she doing here anyways? And then I remembered the sale. She was probably stocking up on Halloween wear for Chris. And, of course, she just HAD to go today of all days. Jeese...I have really rotten luck. I wheezed a little bit as I found them in the back by dressing rooms. Everyone was crowded around, laughing. Frankie held something up.

"Tadah! The perfect costume for you..." He was holding out a Madonna cone bra and a sliver skirt. I rolled my eyes.

"Haha...guys..." I said sarcastically, turning to walk away to go hunting for my costume.

"Wait...we've decided we're going to surprise everyone." Mikey said eagerly. "We're not going to reveal what costumes we have until tonight when we get ready for the ball." I laughed and told everone that it sounded like fun. I couldn't wait to see what everyone came up with, and ran off to go find myself something good to wear.

* * *

"Oh my God, Gerard...You are a total shopping **WHORE**." We had arrived back at St. James with minutes to spare before dinner was supposed to start, all sorts of bags clutched in our arms. But while most of us had just one or two, Gerard had a whole four bags of shit! He just laughed when Mikey pointed this out.

"Let's just say...you guys are sure to be surprised by my costume." he grinned and laughed evily. Me and Mikey looked at eachother.

"Umm...should I be scared?" I whispered to him as we hurried up the stairs.

"Very..." he said grimly. I laughed for a moment before I realized that he WASN'T joking. Then I fell silent. We were going to drop our shit off in our rooms before heading off to dinner. I don't think I could ever REALLY attend a boarding school. At least I got to go home at 3:30 at regular school. This was like being in it ALL DAY LONG. I set my stuff delicately on my bunk and Mikey did the same. But as he set it down, a piece of black material fluttered to the floor, unnoticed.

I picked up and examined it. "What is this? A mask?" I asked him, slipping my fingers into the two eye slits. He whipped around and grabbed it from me.

"Maybe..." he said suspiciously. "It's a surprise, though, so...C'mon." And he practically shoved me out of the room.

"Oh come on, Mikey. Tell me what you're gonna be. I'll tell you what my costume is if you tell me." I tried to persuade him, but he adamantly refused. "Please?" I tried to pout before realizing that it only worked if you were a girl. Doing it as a guy only made me look gay.

"No, now let's hurry up an get down to dinner. And... let's at least TRY not to get detention this time?" he said, looking at me in a jokingly sincere way.

"Yeah, sure, MOM. I promise to behave." I said sarcastically before running quickly towards the stairs. I spotted Frankie and Ray towards the bottom and dashed over to them. "Hey..." I said, squealing to a stop. I looked behind me and saw Mikey making his way down the stairs. He was huffing and wheezing, pulling out his inhaler to take a quick puff. We all shook our heads. Poor, nerdy Mikey...Whatever were we going to do with him?

"Bob went to go save us a table." Frankie said, scanning the entrance hall for something. "I have NO idea where Gerard is. The poor fucker's probably up there drowning in all his shopping bags."

"What poor fucker?" Came a voice from behind us. Gerard hurried down the stairs, grinning. I don't think that boy knows just how excessively he grins. It's kind of ridiculous. When he grins he looks like a little boy, not the angsty teenager that his exterior suggests.

"Where were you, and what have you been doing that has you looking so happy?" Mikey asked, eyeing his brother suspiciously. Obviously, he'd been living with him too long to overlook any uncharacteristic behavior. "How much Prozac have you taken?" Mikey stood on his tiptoes to check to see if Gerard's eyes were dialated. Gerard pushed his brother playfully away.

"Mikey, shut up. I'm not high. Am I not allowed to be in a good mood? And...I've taken the recommended dosage of Prozac." He covered all of Mikey's questions in a swift, ten second period. But Mikey continued to steal glances at him out of the corner of his eyes. Gerard just rolled his eyes.

"You're on Prozac?" I asked quietly. He nodded. It seemed I was learning an awful lot about Gerard today. First that he smoked, and then that he's on anti-depression meds. I fell silent. Gerard laughed.

"It's cool...I'm not, like...psycho or anything. It's just a little something to help me through my day." I looked back at him, but couldn't think of anything to say. We all started to walk towards the dining hall. "I know what you're thinking...I smoke, I drink, I'm on anti-depressants-"

"Hold on...you drink?" I interrupted, discovering yet another darker side to him. Was there really so much about him that was a mystery. And then I realized that I really hadn't known him very well at all. He paused.

"Used to drink...Not anymore. I'm...a recovering alchoholic." he said, looking at the floor. My eyes went wide.

"You were an alcoholic? But you're so young!" I thought immediatly of Mrs. Wilde, Devon's mom. She was an alcoholic, too. It was so hard on her family. Her parents...her sister...but especially Devon.

"Yeah...I know...It was a stupid thing to do. Put my Mom and Mikey through hell. It was pretty selfish of me. But...my family loves me, and thankfully...for some reason I will NEVER understand...they still trust me." he smiled distantly, before looking back at me. "I don't want you to think any differently of me for that...I didn't mean to freak you out." I shook my head.

"It's okay...you're a...friend. I don't think I'd be ABLE to think of you differently." We both smiled at eachother, my smile probably filled with something MUCH different than his.

"Hey! The two gay lovers in the aisle! Mind sitting down?" We looked around. We were the only two standing in the whole hall, and one boy was yelling at us from where he was seated.

"Oh burn in hell!" Gerard and I said in unison, going to take a seat next to everyone else. The girl's school had obviously not arrived yet. There were two empty tables reserved for them. Tonight's dinner looked reasonable, actually. Some sort of soup with bread that wasn't hard as rocks, a fruit salad, and chocolate mousse for dessert. There was no way the school had made edible food. It had to have been the work of someone else.

All of the teachers were sitting stiffly and in an orderly fashion at the head table, their eyes on the doors of the dining hall. Suddenly, Clarette came running in through the doors and clicked up to where Headmaster Kirk was sitting in that proud way of his with his cheesy little smile. She whispered something in his ear and then dashed back out of the room. Moments later, the headmaster stood up out of his chair and looked around at all of us. "Alright!" he yelled so the whole room could hear him. "Our guests have finally arrived. We welcome now...St. Bridget's School for Girls." And he gestured to the door. What was this? A game show?

And surely, through the giant doors first entered a tall woman in a nun's habit. She had an old, aged face with puckered lips and sharp eyes. Behind her, a trail of girls in uniforms followed, talking quietly amongst themselves and giggling. Someone somewhere in the hall let out a loud wolf-whistle and the girls burst into fits of giggles. But one sharp look from the nun and they all fell silent immediately, including the boy. Their uniforms were fairly simply. Classically modest. A white collared blouse underneath a black blazer with the school's crest in the upper right corner. It was paired with a navy blue and gray fringed skirt, and simple, black Mary-Janes.

As it turned out, none of them were REALLY bad looking. Just not my taste. (I mean...not that I have a taste, since I'm a girl.) I noticed that a majority of them were blonde, with a small fraction of brunettes and only one or two girls with black or red hair. They shuffled in until they reached their tables and then the nun left them with a final warning glance before going up to sit at the teacher's table. The girls took their seats, looking expectantly at the food in front of them. "Yes..." continued Kirk once everyone was seated. "And we thank Sister Leona for volunteering to be a chaperone." He waited for someone to clap. The sound did not come.

He cleared his throat and went on awkwardly. "And...furthermore...we thank our lovely secretary, Clarette...For making this wonderful french dish for us. Hooyahass, I believe she said it was." Clarette, who had rushed in after the girls had taken their seats, leaned over and whispered something in his ear again. "Er...bouillabaisse, I guess." I snorted. Hooyahass...what a douche bag. We said a quick prayer and then dug in. Knowing personally just how good Clarette's cooking was, we poured ladle upon ladle of the soup into our bowls so that we would have enough to keep us full. I saw other people poking it tentatively.

But it tasted wonderful. A bit fishy, but good all the same. Frankie dipped a spoon in and took a bite. He swallowed as though a bitter taste had entered his mouth. "Shit..." he muttered. I looked at him questioningly. He thought it tasted bad? It was a million times better than the shit they normally fed us. "This must have fish in it. I'm a vegetarian. Don't eat fish, remember?" he said, pushing his bowl away. Bob and Ray grabbed it greatfully and spooned his un-eaten soup into their bowls. Mikey was dipping large hunks of bread into his and eating greedily. Jeese...for a skinny dude, he sure can pack it away. I was like that, too! Yay for skinny people that should be obese!

Frank filled up the rest of the time on bread, fruit and the mousse. Either way, he was satisfied and grinning, joking with everyone. Finally, after we had all stuffed ourselves full, the hall quieted down. Kirk stood to his feet again and grinned, a bit of fruit stuck in his wig. "Alright, well, thankyou ladies for joining us for dinner." He gestured to the girls sitting at their tables. They all giggled at the piece of fruit, but Kirk took it as flirting and I saw him give a wink. "And, now...you can all run off and get into your costumes for the ball which will start in approximately half an hour. Please leave in an orderly-"

But no one bothered to listen. We all stood up restlessly and started exiting the hall as fast as possible. Headmaster Kirk looked stunned that we weren't obeying him like dogs. I got lost in the crowd a little bit, and couldn't see anyone that I knew. I was shoved around by some people until I caught sight of someone I knew...though not pleasantly. Eric was surrounded by his friend Max and those two boys from this morning in the bathroom. I was unfortunately shoved right into Eric. "Ack! Piss off!" he yelled before registering who it was. "Oh it's you..." he grinned in a not so friendly way that said "i would very much like to bash your guts in right now, asshole". "So...what're you gonna go as tonight? Though...with a face like that, you don't really need a mask." All of his friends chortled at his little joke.

It was right then that I remembered that I was supposed to have been plotting a little revenge on them. A small satisfied smile lit up my face at the thought of it. Suddenly, a girl pushed her way past me and straight to Eric. "Oh, Eric!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him and pecking him on the cheek. "I feel like it's been forever." He smiled warmly and kissed her smartly on the lips.

"And it has, love...It has..." Oh my god...this was the cheesiest thing I have ever witnessed in my life. I thought I was going to be sick. Suddenly, she turned to me. She was slightly curvy, with pale brown eyes, tan skin, and chestnut hair that fell down past her shoulders. Her teeth were impossibly white. I'm talking like...**Mr. Clean **white teeth here, people.

"Who is this?" she said, her voice with that certain, annoying snotty ring to it. I sighed, waiting for the insult I only KNEW Eric was about to dish out.

"Oh, he's just some poor gay boy I found wandering around." Eric said, attempting to steer her away. She laughed harshly at me.

"He's quite the runt. Too bad...he would've been cute. Anywho...let's get away from here. I can't be seen socializing with people like him." she said, spinning around to see what was going on in the hall. It was quickly emptying.

"You know..." I piped up, slighted by her insult. (I was a sexy guy! Even Devon had said so!) "You and your girlfriend should go as beauty and the beast tonight." The girl looked almost surprised, thinking I was giving her a compliment. But I wasn't quite finished...oh no... "You can go as the head part of the beast, Eric, and she'll be the tail end. The only thing left to do is find a pretty girl for the beauty." And they both looked stunned. As I had nothing left to say, and no desire to stick around, I commenced to wander off to go rejoin with my friends while also trying to cook up some good revenge.

"There you are!" Gerard said when he spotted me in amongst the crowd exiting the hall. They were standing by the pillar, as I had expected them to be. Gerard walked slightly ahead of everyone else to meet me. "Come on...Let's go get ready!" He looked rather excited, his little boy interior shining through again. I laughed a bit at his behavior and joined everyone. I was walking by Mikey as we trotted up the stairs, following Gerard's hurried lead.

"Is he always as happy as he seems today?" I asked Mikey in hushed tones, not that the hallway we were going down wasn't noisy enough to cover up any talk.

"Actually..." Mikey said, "I haven't seen him this happy since he found out they were building a new Starbucks down the road from our house. Personally, I think it's coffee that helped with his depression, not the Prozac." We both laughed at this, imagining Gerard in a Starbucks. He'd probably hide in the back until closing and then klypto all the coffee for later. Then I noticed where it was that Gerard was taking us. We were stopping at what I was pretty sure was his room.

"Alright..." he said... "Everyone go change in their costumes and meet me in the library Bob found the other day. We can reveal our costumes there." We all agreed on this, and everyone set off to their rooms. Me and Mikey darted into ours, and dug out the costumes we had aquired today. I grabbed my bags from off of my bunk and told Mikey I would go change in the bathroom so that it would be a surprise when we got to the library. He didn't think anything strange of my behavior and heartily agreed, looking excited.

The bathrooms weren't crowded except for a few guys fixing their hair, but no one bothered me for once. I jammed myself and all my stuff into a single stall and squirmed around, trying to climb into my costume. Finally, I had it all on, and I poked my head out of the stall to see who was all there. No one I had ever seen before occupied the bathroom, so I decided to take my chances and step out to assess myself in the full length mirror they had nailed to the wall. And I must say, I looked quite spiffy.

I had chosen a Phantom of the Opera costume, having recently re-watched the movie. I was sporting a simple pair of black skinny jeans that I had already owned, and flowy white man-blouse tucked into them. I also donned a beastly black cape that swished down around my ankles of the hightops I was wearing. And, of course, I had the signature white mask covering half my face. I don't know about you, but I thought it was pretty beastly.

"Whoa, sweet costume, dude." said one of the guys standing at the sinks, brushing his teeth. I grinned at him. One last look in the mirror, and I figured it was time to go meet the rest of them down at the library place. I flew down the hall, brushing past people who were starting to make their way downstairs, finally reaching our little hide-out. I slid the door open, and poked my head in. There, seated at the table was a Mafia gangster right next to The Joker.

Ray (our little gangster) was clad in a black, pinstriped suit with a black bowler hat perched ontop of his head. A cigar was sitting inbetween his lips, emitting a small stream of smoke. His companion (Bob) was wearing a pair of purple skinny jeans and a black longsleeved shirt with a green, button-up vest over the top. He had thrown on a purple trench coat he must have bought today, and had even used temporary color on his hair that colored it that shocking green color. His face was caked with white, Bloody-Mary makeup, and he also had sloppy red lipstick on. I grinned at the pair of them.

"A mafia gangster and the Joker. Never though I'd meet you two here." I said innocently, walking over and plopping into a dusty chair. I grinned.

"Nice costume, youself, Mason." Ray said in an Italian accent, taking a puff from his cigar. I cocked my head to the side.

"Where'd you get that huge ass cigar?" I questioned, knowing he was underage to buy them. Not that that stopped anyone from getting them. Both Maggie and Gerard had somehow obtained countless packs of cigarettes without much noticable trouble. He shrugged.

"Years of going to St. James has taught me that our old history teacher keeps a stash of them in his desk. Didn't take much trouble. The guy's practically blind anyways...He won't notice one missing...Or...three..." I rolled my eyes, never having gotten the appeal for smoking, myself. I was fine that other people did it, but Mag had let me try one once, and it had left a nasty taste in my mouth and made me hack like I had the freaking whooping cough.

The door soon cracked open and Mikey poked his head in. I drew back in confusion when his masked face poked around the corner. He had a thin, black tied mask that had eye holes, but covered a line around them across his face. He had a wide brimmed black hat perched on his head, and a thin Zorro moustach. He was dressed to the nines in beastly black boots with black skinny jeans, and just a plain black longsleeved shirt. Fashioned around his neck was a long, black cape much like mine, and clutched in his black gloved hands was a long, thin sword.

"It is I...Zorro! Come to rescue the damsel in distress!" he said proudly in a Spanish accent, swishing his sword in that signature Z pattern. I snorted.

"You seem to have gotten the wrong room, Zorro...there aren't any damsels in here." Ray said, laughing. I shifted nervously. Haha...of course there were no damsels in here. Where would he get that idea? Mikey looked a bit embarrassed and lowered his sword. "Oh cheer up!" Ray said, countering his previous comment. "I was joking. The costume looks great, man. Very macho." At this, Mikey's face brightened considerably. We chatted for a couple minutes while we waited for Frank and Gerard to show. And we soon got our wish as the door banged open. I felt my jaw hit the floor.

Standing in the door was a completely unrecognizeable person. If not for the stunning hazel eyes, I would never have guess who it was. He was wearing a flashy red dress that shimmered just slightly in the light. It laced up in the bust area with semi-thick red strings, and on the sides in little slits on the hips that showed skin. It went down just a bit above his knees. On his feet were black stiletto heels. He wore a shiny, black wig that fell to his shoulders in thick, luxourious curls. His eyes shimmered with shimmery eyeshadow, and huge fake lashes. Two little white sparkly gems sat in the outer corners of each eye. His lips were ruby red.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen...Whatever are you still doing sitting down? Lady Marmalade has arrived." He placed a delicate hand up to his hair and swished it back. I noticed that his nails sparkled silver over a darker red color. I was first to climb off of my chair.

"Gerard?" I said, stunned as I wobbled towards him.

"Uh-uh-uh..." he said scoldingly, placing a finger to my lips when I was close enough. "For tonight...I am Lady Marmalade." He winked at me, and I started to laugh hysterically. It was just so...just so...I don't even know what it was! Suddenly, I saw Frank pop in through the door Gerard had left open.

"Hey, whose the random chick?" he asked, stepping in. Gerard spun around and stuck out a hand in a fashion that suggested Frank should kiss it.

"Lady Marmalade at your service, dear." Gerard said, his back turned to me so that I couldn't see his facial expression. Frankie looked confused for a minute before catching on to who it was.

"Okay...apparently SOMEONE decided to be a drag queen this year." he said, laughing. He stepped out from behind Gerard and I could finally see his costume. He was evidently dressed as a stereotypical nerd. He had tan slacks that he wore halfway up his stomach. They were held in place by a pair of suspenders. A schnazzy striped tie hung down from the collar of his light blue dress shirt. He had slicked his hair back and now sported a pair of thick, black, nerdy glasses. "Well, hi there." he said in his best nerd voice sticking out a hand to shake mine.

"My god, I don't believe it!" Gerard exclaimed. "Why you've dressed up as Mikey. Who knew they made Mikey costumes?" Everyone started to laugh until Mikey jumped off of the table, his sword drawn. He placed it up to Gerard's glittered neck.

"I wouldn't mess with...Zorro, sweetheart." he said, adopting a Spanish accent for a moment. Everyone "ooooheed" at this joking threat.

"Gerard...er...Lady Marmalade..." I corrected myself, feeling odd now that there were TWO cross dressers in the room. "Shall we depart for the dance? The Phantom doesn't like to be late." I grinned.

"Why we shall, darling." And Gerard slung his arm through mine and we started our way down the hall. Many people stopped to stare as Gerard passed. A few let out wolf-whistles, perhaps not realizing it was a boy. He **did** look stunning as a woman, I have to admit. But still...now there were TWO cross dressers in the building. It made me feel like laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. The others followed closely behind us, laughing and joking about what a strange group we made. A drag-queen, a nerd, an Italian mafia gangster, the Joker, Zorro, and the Phantom of the Opera. Yup...we had quite a posse.

Down the stairs we descended, proud as we could be in our strange attire, and we came into the entrance hall grandly. Most of the girls from St. Bridget's traveled in packs and stood round in clusters, but a few brave souls had ventured forward to flirt with the boys. A pale girl with dark brown hair that fluttered to her shoulders smiled softly at me as she passed, the smile resonating in her sparkly green eyes. I was a bit taken aback at the rather flirtatious smile before remembering that she would've thought I was a boy. I was going to have to get used to that.

While some people had chosen the anti-costume route, I saw many dressed to nines in all sorts of strange costumes. Many boys had chosen simple masquerade masks and capes, while others went more elaborate with things like vampires and Frankenstein, and I think I even saw a monk running around somewhere. Almost all of the girls were decked out. It was like a giant mess of glitter, high heels, lipstick and hair. Most of them were dressed in girly, cliche costumes like angel's and fairies. As was the fashion for most girls to wear to costume parties, many of them had selected some form of lingerie and a pair of animal ears so that they didn't seem as slutty. They could say there were a mouse when really all that kept them from having a stripper costume was a small pair of plastic ears perched on their heads.

A group of giggling girls passed us, all wearing practically nothing but underwear and some cat or panda ears, maybe complimented by a tail. A couple boys grabbed one of their tails and tugged playfully as they walked by. The girls just laughed, whereas I would've told them to ask Santa for a new pair of balls next Christmas before proceeding to kick them repeatedly exactly there. I leaned over to Gerard and whispered: "You look about a thousand times better than any of these girls." He grinned.

I spotted Clarette standing in the middle of all the chaos next to a woman with red, curly hair. They started herding people out the doors and outside towards wherever it was they were holding this ball thing. I remembered that it was somewhere on the grounds. And then I spotted exactly where it was. A small clearing in the grass had been covered with a temporary dance floor it was surrounded by tall, erect wooden poles that had been strung with brightly lit paper lanterns. A band that consisted of orchaestra type instruments was waiting in a corner of the area. My god, how rich WERE these people, that they could afford stuff like this? Our highschool dances were just us in our dirty gym with an inexperienced DJ.

They even had a table of snacks laid out. Surprisingly, like dinner, these, too, looked edible. No doubt Clarette was behind all of this. She sure knew how to cook up quite some parties! We all stood motionless at the border between grass and dance floor while other students poured onto it and waited for the band to start playing. Then it struck me. What was I supposed to do this whole time? This dance was meant as a socilaizing event so that we could meet girls. And dance with girls, and flirt with girls. I had no real desire to do any of those things.

Then I spotted Eric and his girlfriend dancing in the middle of all of the rest of the spinning couples. The band had started up with some sort of waltz thingy. Now the very last thing I wanted to do was enter into the mayhem. But Frankie pushed me forward. "C'mon..." he said, looking eager to burn off some energy. "It's once a year. We can handle once a year. Find a cute girl to dance with. Flirt...have fun!" And he dissappeared into the crowd. I was left alone. Oh crap. I spotted Ray standing solemnly next to a pretty girl with blonde curls and decided not to bother him. Bob was bashfully asking a red-head to dance across from me, so I couldn't go over to him either. And Mikey and Gerard had wandered off somewhere.

The thought of Gerard dancing with another girl made a bit of jelousy pool in my stomach. I ignored and looked around as calmly as possibly, not quite sure what I was supposed to do now. "Ummm, excuse me?" said a quiet voice behind me. I turned and saw that it was the brunette girl that had smiled at me in the entrance hall before. I looked behind me to see if she was trying to talk to somebody else. But no one else was in the vicinity. I all but groaned. "I just...I couldn't help but notice you earlier in the hall. And I was...wondering...if maybe...you'd like to dance? With me?" I felt my eyes go wide. What was I supposed to say? Maybe I should tell her I was gay. Yeah...she'd believe that. Unfortunately...anyone would believe that. Sigh...

"Of course he'll dance with you!" I heard a familiar voice say. Gerard walked over to us and practically shoved us together. Obviously, his Lady Marmalade personality was a match-maker. Yippie... As I couldn't back out now, I nodded and took her outstretched hand. Okay, Blair...hands on waist. Got it. And we were off, dancing in the crowd. I guess this wasn't so bad. It was just like being drunk or something. Hehe...he...he...

"So, who was that?" the girl asked, obviously referring to the strange drag queen that had just smushed us together.

"Oh, that was just a friend of mine. He's not really a drag queen. I mean...as far as I know." She giggled at my comment. Oh great...and here came the girly side. I seriously hoped I didn't come across like this to guys when I flirted.

"My name's Jenna, by the way." she said, sweetly, smiling at me good-naturedly. I smiled tentatively back.

"Mason..." was I all I said in response. Oh god...now she was expecting me to talk? We spun past Frankie, who was dancing with a small brunette girl. He winked at me. We danced for a few more minutes in awkward silence before Jenna's eyes grew wide and she pointed at something in the direction of the band.

"Hey...isn't that your crossdresser friend?" she asked, looking forwards. I released her and turned around. Sure enough Gerard was up at the front. Alot of people had actually stopped dancing now. Partially because the band kind of sucked, and also because there was a drag queen up front.

"Mmm-mmm...honey." I heard Gerard say, his face close to the microphone as he talked to the head of the band, a friendly looking black man holding a trumpet. "Your band doesn't know how to play worth a dime." The man looked back at his band and seemed to agree with Gerard. The band looked slightly put down by this agreement. "But, not to worry. Lady Marmalade is here to save you. Do I even need to tell you what song to play?" The man grinned, shaking his head and told someone something. They came back moments later wheeling this tiny piano. He raised his trumpet, and cued everyone. Immediately, a song rattled through the dance floor.

It had a familiar, classic ring to it, and I knew I had heard it somewhere before.

"Ooh!" squealed Jenna, clearly excited. "Patti LaBelle's Lady Marmalade. I love this song!" Man...Gerard sure was good at pretending to be a drag queen. It almost made me wonder whether he was really pretending. I laughed as Gerard started to sing.

"He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans. Strutting her stuff on the street! She said, 'Hello, hey, Joe...You wanna give it a go?" Wow...he was pretty good. "Gitchi, gitchi yaya, dada! Gitchi, gitchi yaya here! Mocha-chocolata, yaya! Creole, Lady Marmalade!" Nevermind that...he was awesome! Well...a good singer, but this was too crazy for me. Everything was loud and spinning. I suddenly felt dizzy. But Jenna was too excited to notice that I was slowing down a bit. And Gerard sung on, everyone laughing and dancing.

And the song soon ended. I let out a sigh of relief when everything quieted down a bit and the band prepared for the next song. Of course...with me, nothing can go un-interrupted for long. It was pretty much completely silent in the area until my cell phone picked an untimely time to ring. "I'm a barbie girl! In a barbie world! Laughing plastic! It's fantastic!" I looked at my pocket in complete confusion, and so did everybody else. It was up loud enough that everyone could here it. Thankfully, another song started up. I excused myself to Jenna and walked just to the edge of the floor to answer. It was my mom calling. Chris must have changed the ringtone as a joke, because I sure didn't set it to that.

"Hello?" I picked up, trying to shy a bit away from all the noise. I was at Maggie's cabin...nothing was supposed to be happening.

"Blair Christine Hunter!" My mother's voice said on the other end. Uhoh...she was using the middle name. She only used my middle name when she was mad. "Just what were you thinking, letting your poor mother worry about you for three whole days, not even bothering to call ONCE!" Shit...I had totally forgotten to call her. I had some explaining to do.

"Mom, I'm really sorry. I totally for-" She interrupted my apology in that annoyed tone of hers.

"Oh don't you 'I forgot' me, missy! I've been worried sick about you this whole time. You could have been murdered in your sleep for I all I knew, and I didn't even get a voice message from you? Just what have you been up to this whole time, Blair Hunter? And don't you say nothing." I gulped. This was hardly going the way I expected.

"Mom, I'm sorry. It's just...I forgot to pack my phone charger, and it died up here, so I had to borrow Maggie's and I just got it charged yesterday. I forgot to call, and I'm sorry. But I'm fine, you have nothing to worry about." I tried to calm her and reassure her. I knew she was just worried, but I think she was over-reacting just a TAD. She didn't say anything for a minute, but I heard her take a couple deep breaths.

"Well, I'm glad of that." she finally answered. "But...that's no excuse. I want you to call me tomorrow morning, first thing? And try to at least call me to say goodnight sometimes. I miss you, bug." I sighed. Here she went with her mushy mom routine. But...I would put up with it on account of everything I had put her through.

"Yeah, I love you too, Mom. And I promise to call tomorrow. I won't forget. I'll write it on my hand or stick a post-it to my forehead." She sighed. Thankfully, she was used to me and Mag blaring music everywhere, so she didn't think twice of the loud tunes that were currently echoing everywhere.

"Alright...I guess I'll see you tomorrow, honey. I love you. Ooh!" she suddenly exclaimed, as though afraid of forgetting something. "By the way, Blair, did you pack enough bras, I found on of your-" The rest of her question was cut off because of the very loud conclusion to the song that had been playing.

"What?" I yelled into the phone, trying to hear her over the music.

"I said...Do you have enough bras because-" Again, her voice faded to the music. I groaned.

"What, Mom? I'm having a hard time hearing you!" I was shouting as loud as possible now, the music currently too loud for anyone to hear me talking.

"Bras, Blair! Do you have enough bras?" she said impatiently.

**"YES MOM! I PACKED PLENTY OF BRAS!" **The music stopped abruptly just as I said this. Everyone turned and gaped at me. I stood stock-still, my eyes wide, and the phone clutched in my hands. They all continued to stare. I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Umm...I'll talk to you in the morning, Mom. Pizza's here. Love you...bye." I flipped the phone shut pensively, still just standing there. Even the band was staring open mouthed. "Oh just play your instruments!" I yelled peevishly, turning as they started a song and everybody went back to dancing. I said a quick goodbye to a stunned Jenna, and started to trudge back up to the building. I needed to go be an embarrassed teenage girl for a little bit.

* * *

A little while later, I was sprawled out on my bunk. Nobody had come back to the room yet, thank God. Not only was shouting to the world that I had enough bras embarrassing, but it also wasn't exactly normal behavior for a guy. I'd have to think of an excuse. Maybe I could just say I was joking with one of my friends. I mean, sure...I would endure plenty of teasing tomorrow, but at least people like Mikey and Ray, and...Gerard wouldn't think I had been serious. Yeah...I'd say I'd been joking. That was sure to work.

I glanced at the clock. I had probably a good half an hour before anyone got back. Just enough time to get into my pajamas and maybe just fool around in peace for a bit. I jumped off of the bed and sprang to the floor. I grabbed my ipod from my suitcase and plugged it into Mikey's dock, wich I figured he wouldn't mind if I borrowed. What better than some nice Muse while getting changed? I flicked it to an album of their's and let it play while I grabbed my night clothes.

I untied the cape and let it sink to the floor while I pulled off my mask and chucked it on the bed. I tried to figure out how to take off the shirt as the music played on. It felt kind of nice to be alone for a little while. Not having to worry about keeping up with my act as a dude. I started to hum along with the lyrics, enjoying myself immensely. I finally figured the shirt out and pulled it over my head, flinging it off in a random direction, not being much of one to clean and organize. The room would probably be in ruins by the time I left this place.

I shifted uncomfortably, the roll of bandages having become a bit sweaty during the day. I would have to change them. I unclipped the safety-pin holding them in place, and spun the sticky repressants off. I breathed a sigh of relief when they were removed, not used to the free feeling of not suffocating. I relished in my comfortable state, not concerned in the least bit about anything imparticular. Suddenly, the door banged open, no warning and no time to allow me to register what was happening.

"Hey, Mason...where'd you run off-Ahhhhhhh! You have tits! Oh my god you have fucking tits!" Mikey was standing just at the edge of the corner that you turned to get to the beds from the door, wide eyed and gaping. My top half was completely naked, so of course...he could see everything. And something that defintely shouldn't be there under the circumstances he perceived. He flung a hand over his eyes and stumbled backwards, banging into walls and whatever else was in the vicinity, still yelling profanities in surprise and immense confusion.

I screamed too, and wrapped my arms around my torso in attempt to cover myself up.

Oh shit...It felt as though everything had just crumbled to pieces. And...as Mikey had just discovered that I wasn't actually who he thought I had been...It probably had.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry for the dreadfully long wait for this update. I'm afraid I had just a touch of writers block this week. I took to writing this chapter in rather short bursts instead of being patient enough to just sit down and get it finished. I think it turned out pretty good, despite things, though. A very important chapter, if you couldn't tell (hehe), and one of my signature cliff-hanger endings that I know you all enjoy so much. (Sarcasm there...its funny...try it sometime). Tell me what you thought, please. I like to know where I can improve, and what I should do more of and include and such. On the bright side, this is the longest chapter I've probably EVER written in the history of my short (and most likely, not very valuable or important) career on fanfic. Hope you enjoyed it.

WILL UPDATE SOONER IF YOU REVIEW! Hehe...I have a diabolical mind...Bask in my glory, you slaves! :D


	8. Apparently I Just Contracted a Disease

**A/N: **Hey guys, I'm SOOOO sorry for the long wait. But...there is good news! I just finished my last installment of my other story that I was working on for what seemed like ages, and so now I have my hands free to devote my time solely to this beautiful piece. LOL...So thankyou for your endless patience, I know I must be wearing you guys out, but...I love you and I hope that makes up for it. Hahah...(If not, here...have a popsicle) :D

**Word of the Day: Condom - **Noun meaning: Something I don't feel comfortable explaining on the internet to your virgin ears. FYI, I pick all of these words at random, so...I literally opened my dictionary with my eyes close, flipped to a random page, and went down with my finger on said page until I felt like stopping. Only then did I look. Out of all the words in the dictionary, I was drawn to this one. Now what does that say about me, children?

* * *

**Chapter 8: Apparently, I Just Contracted a Disease **

**Blair's POV **

_"Oh my god, you have fucking tits!" _

The words hit me like a slap in the face. A face that was flushed with sheer embarrassment. Not only had Mikey just discovered my secret, but he had also seen my boobs. I was in the middle of trying to decide wich side of the situation was worse, when I realized that it didn't matter.

_"Oh my god, you have fucking tits!" _

The words echoed through the room, ominous and final. Diminishing and self-explanatory. I hung my head. I had failed. What had been going so well had all just crumbled to pieces in a few short sentences yelled out in shock by my no doubt mentally scarred roommate. Realizing that there was no point in just standing in the middle of the room with no shirt on, I flung a random t-shirt I found in my dresser on and commenced to standing in silence for a few moments.

After awhile, I realized that Mikey had no intentions of coming back into the main part of the room by himself, so I cautiously padded over to the corner that ensured his concealment. "Mikey..." I said quietly, poking my head around the corner. He stood in the far reach of the room by the wall, his back facing me and his arm up so that it formed a blindfold across the upper part of his face. He remained silent. I sighed loudly without meaning to. "Mikey come out from there. It's not like I'm going to hurt you."

"Nope...nope..." Mikey muttered, sounding slightly less than sane. "This is not real. I'm dreaming...You don't have tits. You don't have tits. You don't have tits." He seemed to be trying to convince himself that everything he had just seen had been a figment of his imagination. "Gerard must have spiked my coffee. No...this is a prank...This is a prank you and Gerard set up because Gerard was pissed that I wouldn't share my coffee."

He abruptly turned around in a half accusatory, half "you-got-me" manner. He started to laugh, though I could detect a hint of nervousness burried in the sound somewhere. "Yeah...good one you guys. Where's the hidden camera?" He started examining the walls and ceiling corners, looking for anything that resembled a lense. I shook my head.

"Mikey...there's no hidden camera..." I said dejectedly. I knew there had only been so long that I could've kept my little facade up. The thing was...I wasn't PREPARED to have felt this much dissappointment regarding my failure. I mean...I knew this was important to Maggie, and that I had let her down but...I couldn't help but feel that that was only half of the source of my anger at myself. Was I going to miss this? Waking up every morning in a St. James dormitory, Mikey dozing with his little coffee can? And then going down to breakfast with everyone else, laughing and joking all day long and making fun of Kirk and his gap?

Ray coming to the rescue with edible food, cool as a cucumber and filled with pride? Frank being his mischevious self, wreaking havoc through the school building all day long, and tormenting teachers along with any one else who annoyed him? And Bob being absent-minded, wandering through the day in complete nonchalance, not caring about the next lesson, and always ready to goof around? Mikey spazzing out just going down the stairs, struggling to suck in a puff in from his inhaler and being the butt of all jokes that poured out of our mouths. And Gerard...mysterious and fascinating in every aspect of his being. With a darker side that resided under his mesmerizing hazel eyes...

There was no doubt that I was going to miss this now that it was over. I felt my eyes tear up a bit. "Mikey...there's no hidden cameras. This isn't a prank." I said yet again, watching him wander about the room.

"Where did ya get the fake boobs? Must've been the costume shop, huh? So you've been planning this for awhile, haven't you?" He eyed me suspiciously, managing to ignore my explanations that this was no prank. I sighed heavily.

"Mikey...this isn't a prank. It's not fake boobs." I told him as calmly as I could muster. He went on with his assumptions, though, despite my efforts.

"I mean...they were pretty elaborate. Must've been expensive. For a second there, I actually thought-"

"Mikey! They're not fake! They're real! As real as any other girls! You wanna know why? Because I **AM **a girl! A girl who made a stupid mistake thinking she could pull this off! But she was wrong, and now she's in deep shit..." I stalked over to the bunks and plopped down on the bottom one, my head in my hands. I felt like pulling my hair out, I was so frustrated with myself. The room was consumed with complete silence, but I could hear that the hallway outside was now bustling with activity. Probably the rest of the boys coming back from the dance to retire to their dorms.

Why couldn't Mikey have waited just ten more minutes? Just long enough for me to at least pull a shirt on. But by some mysterious force of terrible luck that seemed to follow me through whatever I did, I always ended screwing something up. Life is such a bitch. A tear slipped out from the corner of my eye and I wiped it away harshly. I heard the quiet sound of soft footsteps and looked up to see Mikey creeping out into the main room to lean against the wall farthest from me. It was as though I had some sort of diseas, the way he avoided me. Like he was stepping into a room with a leper.

"Are you really a girl?" He asked skeptically folding his arms. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Mikey...You just saw my boobs. What other proof do you want?" It came out sounding a bit irritated, but he didn't seem to take offense. He just looked completely confused as to what to do now. He hurriedly reached into his pocket, pushing his black Zorro cape out of the way, and pulled out his inhaler.

"Holy shit...you're a girl...Shit, shit, shit..." He took a deep breath from the inhaler, and then slid down the wall until he was sitting limply, looking up at the ceiling. I watched him plop down and looked around the room awkwardly as he processed. Finally, it got too tense to bare, so I slid off of the bunk and walked cautiously over towards him until I was a safe six feet away. I, too, sunk down and sat cross-legged on the cold floor.

"Mikey?" I said quietly, cocking my head to the side and waving my hand to grab his attention.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Mikey didn't phrase the question as an angry one, but a genuinly curious one. " I mean...why would randomly decide to dress up as a guy and attend St. James? Do you have some sick sort of fetish." He looked at me with a suspicious eye, glaring, but not meanly.

I snorted humorlessly. Just sort of amused at his assumptiopn. "No, I don't have a fetish...It's just...It's-It's kinda hard to explain." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. Of course it's hard to explain! I just found out my friend was a freaking undercover girl!" Again, he didn't seem angry, per-se, (I doubted that Mikey gets seriously angry very often) just sort of desperate for a straight answer. I sighed loudly again.

"Well, I don't know...It just started out as a favor to a friend. I wasn't even really supposed to interact with anyone, I just-I got wrapped up in the moment and the...the everything." I was, for once in my life, at a loss for words. Then I realized that Muse was still playing off of the speakers. I reached over and pulled my Ipod off the dock, cradling it in my palm.

"What sort of favor involves you impersonating a guy?" So now he was really interested. Oh well...anything to delay the blow of him telling the other guys.

"The sort of one where she needs me to help her get information for a newspaper article she's writing..." I turned my purple ipod around and around in my hands, not able to look up. To tell the truth, I was a bit ashamed of my predicament. The sort of guilt you feel, like getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

"She's writing an article about St. James? What about...the bad cooking? What sort of dirt could we possibly have? We're just a bunch of snotty rich kids." I finally looked up. He was waiting eagerly for me to answer his question, still fully clad in Zorro attire.

"Mikey...can you take that freaky mask off? I can't talk to you seriously with that thing on..." He rose his eyebrows.

"I don't know...I spent the last three days talking to you with your little costume on. I think you can handle ten minutes of conversation." He said spitingly. I gave a short laugh, supposing that he had a point, and proceeded to answer him.

"Well, she get these ridiculous theories all the time. And her latest one is that your little Headmaster, here, is raising the grades on his student's test scores to get a better reputation so that people will come here and he can haul in cash by the bucket fulls." I thought back to that fatefull day when Maggie, herself, had explained this all to me. And now, here I was, relaying this information to little Mikey. "I guess I'll never get to know the truth about that, now..." I trailed off.

"What are you talking about?" Mikey asked suddenly. I looked up and he was staring at me with a puzzled expression, as though I had said something that didn't click with him. "What do you mean you won't be able to figure it out?" I stood there in silence for a minute, not getting why he was so confused.

"Well...the cat's out of the bag, Mikey. It's kind of all over. My secret got out, and now I have to pack my bags." I stood up and walked over to my dresser, starting to pull clothes out of the drawers and pack up. Mikey hopped to his feet and hurried over, grabbing my wrist to stop me from shoving the tie I was holding up into my bag.

"Who says I'm going to tell anybody?" We stared at eachother, me in complete awe, and him in sincerity.

"Well...you are, aren't you?" I prodded, curious about the words that were about to follow. He laughed.

"Hell no! This is **WAY** too interesting. No way I'm gonna rat possibly the most exciting thing that's ever happened here." I was shocked. He wasn't going to tell anyone? He thought this was INTERESTING, not disturbing? He didn't feel betrayed and lied to? Used?

"You-You're not going to tell." He nodded fervently, and then stopped, thinking.

"Well, on ONE condition." Oh great...so now he was going to make me his slave for life or something. "No more lying. I want complete truth out of you the rest of the time you're here, got it?" I nodded eagerly. Anything to get him to keep his mouth shut. Suddenly his eyes went keen. I felt awkward as he eyed me. "By the way...what's your REAL name? I'm guessing it's not Mason." I shrugged.

"No, it's not. But...I'm not gonna tell you what my real name is. You might accidentally call me it, and then everyone would be like 'WTF?'" He groaned.

"Come on...I'm not THAT stupid. I think I can handle it." I shook my head. He paused and thought for a minute before saying uncertainly: "It's not...Blair, by chance, is it?" I froze, turning around to look at him.

"How'd you know?" He shrugged.

"It's written on the back of your ipod. I thought it was, like, your girlfriend's name, or something. Obviously, I was wrong." I turned my ipod over, and sure enough, my name was written on the back in black permanant marker. I had done that almost two years ago when I had gone to camp so that in case I lost it, I could identify it. I had totally forgotten about it in regards to this whole scheme. Just not something I had thought about.

"Huh...I'll have to be careful about that. I guess, if anyone asks, it **IS** my girlfriend's name..." I muttered absentmindedly. When I looked up from the purple device, Mikey was staring at me.

"God, this is weird..." he said, still staring. "I can't believe you're a girl! I mean...I always thought you were kind of...of..."

"Gay?" I suggested, having no objections about it. If I had met somebody like me, I would have questioned their sexuality as well.

"Well...yeah..." Mikey blushed. "I mean...I didn't have a problem with it. I'm not homophobic...But...wow. I would've never guessed..." He trailed off in awe of his discovery. I sighed. We looked at eachother for a long minute before realizing that he was standing so close to me. We both backed off, clearing our throats awkwardly and looking away from one another's eyes at all costs.

"So ummm...I guess, maybe I should leave you in here to...erm...get dressed?" Mikey asked tentatively, fingering his inhaler nervously. I cleared my throat.

"Umm, I'll just go to the bathroom and change. That's what I've **BEEN** doing, anyways..." I tried to let a little bit of a casual tone enter my voice, but it came out sounding strained. Well THIS was awkward... And suddenly we were both bustling around the room, grabbing what we needed so that we could change into our pajamas. I was hurriedly tossing aside a blazer in search of my t-shirt when there was a knock on our door. We both froze and looked up from what we were doing like two deer in the woods who had just heard the howl of a hungry wolf. The knocking continued, this time a little louder.

"Hey, guys, come on! Let me in! It's Frankie!" I could hear him bellowing outside the doorway, pounding his fist into the thick door to get us to open up. I gulped.

"Should I let him in?" Mikey whispered frantically, dropping the deoderant he had been clutching. It hit the floor with a clatter and rolled under his dresser. Neither of us paid it any attention to it. I tried to think quickly.

"Yeah, sure..." I said, trying to remain calm. Frankie would think something was up if we didn't answer. But then I remembered something. "Wait, no!" I called out, trying to grab his elbow as he turned the corner to the door hall. He stopped where he stood and looked at me in confusion. "I don't have my bandages on!" I said urgently.

"What?" he hissed, not knowing what I meant by bandages. Of course he wouldn't, Blair, why are you always so stupid in bad situations?

"I mean...I need the bandages to tape down my...boobs. Otherwise...you can see...everything. And I mean **EVERYTHING**." His face scrunched up in disgust.

"Okay...that was more information than I needed to know..." he cringed. I refrained from laughing at his goofy expression.

"Guys? What's going on in there?" Frankie called from outside, resuming his hammering on our already abused door.

"Just a second!" I called out, my voice cracking under the pressure of my anxiety. "Just turn around so I can get them on..." I hissed at Mikey, dodging to my suitcase where an extra pair of my bandages was burried in the clutter. I dug them out quickly, holding them up and gesturing for him to spin around. Mikey obeyed, covering his eyes as well.

"Hurry up..." he muttered anxiously. I shushed him and told him I was going as fast as I could. And I was. But, see...the problem with that is that my hands kept fumbling and dropping the bandages in my rush, letting them slip and unwind faster than I could tighten them around my torso.

"What are you guys doing in there? If I come in and find you guys fucking eachother's brains out, I can assure you, I will be VERY disgusted and probably vomit on your floor. So...if you want to save yourselves the trouble of mopping up my puke, I suggest you tell me now if you're engaging in sexual behavior so that I can come back later." He said this all very straightforward, probably meaning to be funny. Of course, we were both so frenzied that we forgot to respond.

"Um...you guys aren't **REALLY** fucking in there, are you?" Frank asked nervously. "You know I was joking, right?"

"Relax, Frank. We're not having sex." Mikey finally said. "Are you almost finished, already? He thinks something's up." I finally groaned in frustration.

"Goddammit! I can't figure these stupid things out! It's hard enough having to do them when I'm not on a time limit! Shit!" I cursed as quietly as I could manage in my anger, trying desperately to get the ropes of bandages to cooperate with me.

"Oh for God's sake, let me." Mikey finally said. He walked over to me hurriedly, with his eyes pinched halfway shut as though afraid of seeing something, and then he began to wrap me quickly up, finally finishing the job with the safety pin I handed to him. I looked around for a shirt, not finding any that were easily accessable. Mikey frantically ripped his own shirt off over his head and stuffed me into it. Then he shoved me towards the door so that I could open it.

"Hi!" I said, out of breath and red in the face when I opened the door to a very confused looking Frankie. He had taken off his nerd costume, but his hair still remained slicked back, and his nerdy glasses were still perched on his nose.

"Umm...is this a bad time?" he asked, craning his neck to see over my shoulder to where Mikey was leaning, shirtless, up against the wall. I saw him give a small, awkward wave. "'Cause...I can come back later if you guys are...busy..." He looked back and forth between me (looking ruffled and out of breath), and shirtless Mikey behind me.

"Okay...I know what this looks like, but I swear to you...It is **NOT** what you think." I reassured him as he glanced back and forth. He nodded with raised eyebrows.

"Umm...well, I guess I just wanted to talk to you about something, Mason." He finally said. I was momentarily confused by his abrupt change in character, but I quickly recovered and told him he could come in. Mikey was cramming his arms into his pajama top so that he didn't have to walk around shirtless the whole time. "Are you wearing Mikey's shirt?" Frankie asked when he caught sight of the top I was wearing, which would normally have been paired with Mikey's Zorro costume.

"It's a...long story." I said, trying to close the subject. Frank seemed to get the message. He was smacking on a piece of gum, occasionally blowing large, pink bubbles until they burst with loud _'POP!' _s. This continued for a couple of minutes, Mikey reclining on the bed so that he didn't seem involved, me rubbing dust off of the dressers, and Frank standing in the middle of the room, chewing gum. "So...you needed to talk to me about something?" I supplied, hoping to help him progress in the conversation.

"Yeah...The thing is, though...I'm not ENTIRELY sure how to start..." He looked to me almost as if in need of help. I, however, had no idea what he was remotely thinking of. Therfore, I could supply no form of assistance.

"Well, um...it's might be helpful if you start from the beginning, but..." I gestured rather sarcastically for him to continue. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Alright, alright...I get the point. But...you have to promise that anything I say will not offend you, 'cause really, I don't mean anything by it, okay?" I stared at him in puzzlement, wondering what exactly he was going to say that would have such great effect on me. I leaned back against the bed post and folded my arms, waiting for the news. He sighed, big and deep...pondering. "Okay...well, I think I know what's going on here." I gulped, feeling a nervous sweat break out across my forehead and stick up my palms. I rubbed them unconciously, looking at Frank in concern.

"Umm...I'm not exactly sure what you mean..." I blundered out. Mikey had propped himself up off the bed to see my reaction. Obviously, he could sense what was coming as well. Frankie sighed again, struggling to form the words that were apparently so bustling inside his head into comprehensible sentences.

"Well, you couldn't've expected me **NOT** to notice. I mean...It's pretty obvious that you were...different, I guess. More awkward around us..." He went on, each sentence carefully phrased and articulated at exactly the right moments. I nearly choked on the air I was breathing in, and glancing over at Mikey in distress, I saw that he had also had a similar reaction. He was sucking on that inhaler of his for all that it was worth. I coughed weakly, starting to straighten a pile of Mikey's books like the neat-freak I became in nerve-wracking situations like this.

"What exactly are you saying...Frankie?" I asked tensly, sorting past all the different hard covers, making sure all of their corners matched up exactly, and arranging them in alphabetical order.

"Well...I don't know...I just, I guess...I know why you're always acting like that, if you know what I mean." Frankie hinted pointedly, gesturing to symbolize that he wanted me to fill in the blanks. My throat closed up. Glancing back over at Mikey, I discovered that he had unearthed a box of M&M's and was now looking back and forth between me and Frankie like we were an interesting movie he was wrapped up in. He caught my death glare and gave me a look that said "what am I doing?". Frank caught me looking at him.

"Er...would this be easier if we were alone?" he asked tentatively, thinking that Mikey was causing my nervousness.

"No...actually...he alread knows." I said dejectedly, hanging my head like I had before. Jeese...two discoveries in one night. I felt like a total failure. Frank looked shocked at the news.

"He does? Thank god...that makes this **SO **much less awkward, you have **NO** idea! When did you find out?" He directed the last bit at Mikey, who was sitting on the bed.

"Actually, just about five minutes ago." he confessed. Frank's eyes went wide, and he nodded.

"So anyway..." he turned to me, "I just want you to know that I don't have a problem with it. This won't make us any less of friend's than we are now. Doesn't change anything, okay?" He looke at me sincerely and smiled. I rose my eyebrows in surprise. Was everyone just like...Totally okay with me being a girl?

"Wow...seriously? You're not even shocked?" I prodded, not believing that he could be so cool about this. He just shrugged.

"Hey...I have plenty of friends just like you." At this, both me and Mikey climbed to our feet.

"SERIOUSLY?" we said in unison. Frankie nodded.

"Of course...I mean...I don't have a problem with it at all. We're totally cool, Mason. Don't worry about it." Me and Mikey just looked at eachother. What was he TALKING about? "Yeah..." Frank continued, "I don't have a problem with gay people at all. I don't have a homophobic bone in me." He gave a short laugh.

"Wait, wait wait!" I interrupted, "**THAT'S** what you were talking about?" He looked puzzled.

"Of course...what did you think I was talking about?" I looked wildly around. Thankfully, Mikey came to the rescue...

"Erm...we thought...you were...talking about how...Mason has a...severe medical condition." I paused, turning to Mikey with an expression that clearly said: "Seriously? That's all you could come up with?".

"Woah...really? So...you're not gay?" I shook my head fervently.

"No...nope...straight as an arrow. I defintely like guys...I mean girls! I meant girls..." I stuttered over the whole sentence, probably just screwing myself over in the process. Frank studied us both skeptically for a moment, as though trying to decide if there was anything suspicious going on. Apparently, we passed the test, because he started to talk again.

"So...what medical condition exactly do you have?" My eyes went wide. Why did he have to say medical condition? Why couldn't it have been that I still slept with a nightlight, or that I liked the Barbie movies? Anything...anything else...

"Erm...well, it's a rather complicated disease, you see..." I started, trying to sound like I knew what the hell I was talking about.

"Yeah..." Mikey put in, trying to be helpful, "It's umm...very rare. There's only been seven cases here and in...Sri Lanka." I paused to give him the death glare before continuing.

"Yes...very rare...it's called um...the proper name for it is really very long, but..."

"Well, it's actually called... hesphalum...tidus...syndrome...disease." Mikey finished, awkwardly, trailing away. Frankie's eyebrows rose until they were well under his fringe, looking skeptical.

"Hesphalumtidus Sydrome Disease?" he asked with a flat, disbelieving voice. I glared at Mikey again, who shrugged helplessly.

"Er...Yup! H...S...D for short. HSD. Uh-huh...nasty disease, really." I continued in a well informed voice, just going with the flow. I'm pretty sure Mikey could've said that I'd had my balls chopped off in a car accident, and I would've gone along with it. Anything to get away from the subject that I MIGHT possibly be a girl dressed up as guy.

"Yes..." Mikey continued for me, "It um...makes you get these NASTY sores all over your-" Frankie cut him off hurriedly.

"Okay...that's enough information. Sounds pretty bad. Are you okay?" he asked, looking at me as though weary that I was about to collapse and have a stroke or something. I nodded.

"Yup, I'm actually in treatment already, but the medicine makes me really tired, so I need to go to bed now. Bye!" And with that, I started to shove him out of the door.

"But, wait, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to-" he started to say frantically.

"Uh-huh...yup..." I said, shutting the door and locking it before taking a deep breath to let out my anxiety. "Oh my god..." I said aloud, wobbling into the main room. I had had enough for tonight, and for the rest of my life. I felt like I was about to pass out. I staggered to the dresser and grabbed my pajamas weakly, groaning at just the labor of picking up the two thin pieces of fabric. As I walked past Mikey, I glared daggars at him.

"What did I do?" he asked in completely oblivious shock. I felt my eye twitch. What had he done? What had he done?

"Mikey...this whole thing is your fault..." I told him darkly, dragging my shaky hands across my tired eyes. He threw his hands up in the air.

"Hey, I can't help it that you were walking around the room with no shirt on, and I just **HAPPENED** to walk in." I facepalmed at this point and just hobbled over towards the door, ready to go change. "You going to change into your pajamas?" Mikey called from the main room. I sighed.

"No Mikey...I'm going to go take my medicine for my **HESPHALUMTIDUS SYNDROME DISEASE**!" I shouted, irritated, before shutting the door heavily and stalking off towards the boys bathroom.

* * *

The next morning, I left the room early again to go take a shower. To my great relief, I discovered that the bathroom was completely unpopulate, and that I would have the whole place to myself to sing and dance and do whatever the heck I wanted to. I grinned sloppily at my tired expression in the mirror, and was just setting my pile of shower stuff down on the ledge of the sink, when my phone started to go off. As it was 'Play That Funky Music, White Boy', I knew it was Devon.

"What the hell do you want? It's freaking six A.M." I said, acting jokingly angry, but grinning as I fiddled with a bar of soap I had brought with me.

"That's no way to talk to your father, young Mason. When you get home, you're so grounded!" Devon was obviously enjoying the father role we had assigned him to play. I laughed and continued, truly excited to be hearing from him. It felt like forever since I had heard from either Devon OR Maggie, though it couldn't have been more than a day or so.

"No, but seriously...What do you want? I'm on a limited time schedual, here. Breakfast is in an hour, and I still have to take a shower and get dressed and stuff." I tried to hurry the reunion along a little bit, all though part of me wanted to stay and joke around with him for another hour or so.

"Tsk, tsk...have you forgotten your old friends already? Maggie said you'd made a few new buddies, but she didn't say anything about you forsaking us." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not forsaking you guys, and you know it. In fact, I miss you. It's been so long since Maggie's slapped my ass, or I've seen you devour a cookie dough blizzard." I fake sniffled. "It brings a tear to my eye." Suddenly, a new voice was talking into the phone, loud and surprising.

"Aww, Blair, I miss you too!" I was puzzled for a minute, wondering where the new feminine voice had come from, before recognizing it.

"Mag? What are you doing on Devon's phone?" I asked, knowing she would normally just use her own. There was a brief pause.

"See...there was a **SLIGHT **problem with my phone last night..." I heard her say quietly. Devon laughed and started talking again.

"Haha...by slight problem, she means she jumped into the lake with it still in her pocket. We went out there last night, and **SOMEBODY** just **HAD **to take a dip." He sighed, "Some things never change, huh?" The unreasonable feeling of being left out filled me, and I felt a frown slide onto my face. I remembered when all three of us used to go down to the lake and build a roaring fire and cook some marshmallows and, oddly, pears over the open flames. Yes, pears. They taste surprisingly delicious when warmed. Yumm...

"Yo, are you there?" That's when I snapped back into reality. When I realized that Maggie was trying to get my attention. I nodded, before realizing that she couldn't see me. Only then did I respond. God, I was mentally challenged...

"Yeah, fine. Just thinking. But really, what do you want?" I waited impatiently for them to get to the point, knowing that at any time, somebody could walk in, and I would have to pretend like I was talking about something totally unrelated again.

"Well, why do you think we're calling? To find out about the artical, of course. We didn't put you in a boys boarding school just so you could socialize, ya know." Maggie said rather scoldingly. "So, what have you found out? You **HAVE** been snooping for me, haven't you?" I cringed a bit. I hadn't been exactly playing Sherlock Holmes as often as I should've been.

"Umm...yup, yup. Totally. I'm just...you know...gathering and processing information. Oh, but I know tons." I lied quickly, feeling guilty that I hadn't been following the plan.

"Oh shit, Blair...you haven't been snooping at all have you?" Maggie sounded extremely anxious all the sudden.

"It's not that!" I said frantically, "It's just...well, I found out that he is in an extreme amount of debt, and that he's been coming up with unusually large amounts of cash to pay them back." My voice sounded just a bit hopeful. As though praying that the information would be suitable. There was a moment of silence from both Devon and Maggie as they processed what I had just informed them of.

"Hmm..." Mag finally responded, "I guess that DOES sound just a bit fishy. Huh...in fact, that's even better than the whole raising-the-grades thing. Yes...just make sure you get enough proof that he's doing this. Oh! I feel just like I'm in the FBI, or something! This is so cool!"

"Hey...you're not the one doing all the investigation stuff. You're just sitting around on your ass all day, calling me at all hours of the morning and night, and begging me for information. I'm starting to think that this is a one-way-beneficient relationship, Mag." She laughed.

"Alright...but just make sure that there's actual HARD evidence. Otherwise, the artical will be flimsy. And hurry up. This is your last day at St. James. We're pretty much out of time." That sentence hit me like a sack of bricks falling from the sky. I gasped.

"What-What did you say?" I stuttered incredulously into the phone, gripping the sink ledge for support.

"I said...try to hurry up. This is your last day. Went by fast, didn't it?" She had no idea. It felt like I had just arrived last night. That I was only beginning my first day. How the hell was I supposed to explain my sudden dissappearance? Was I just gonna have to leave? I could imagine everyone...Bob, Frankie, Ray, Mikey...Gerard, all talking about it.

_"Yeah...whatever happened to Mason? It's like he just dissappeared." _Someone would say. They would think I betrayed them, just up and leaving like that. I gulped at the thought of having to explain to my newly made friends that I was going to be leaving after only a measly three days with them. There was so much more I could learn about them. All this time, I hadn't realized that Maggie had been talking to me. I zoned in, confused at what she was talking about.

"-so just be careful about that." Was all I caught. I paused.

"Wait...what?" She sighed heavily, obviously fed-up with my spacieness.

"Jeese...why don't you just go ahead and take your shower already, Blair? Your mind's pretty much refusing to focus, right now. We'll talk to you later, kay, kay?" I cleared my throat.

"Yeah...later. I miss you guys alot, by the way." I could almost hear both of them smiling.

"We love you, too!" They cried out in unison. After bidding eachother audieux I hung up the phone with a hollow heart, and a numb throat. I couldn't comprehend that this was coming to a close. It didn't feel right by me. It was just like...I had to abandon everything I had set up for myself here. Like...I HAD been another person for a little while. Mason had become a part of me, and a part of all the friends I had made here. Even the enemies.

I would have to leave it all behind.

I crawled weakly into the shower, and turned it on full blast, hardly noticing that the water was freezing cold. Like ice needles on my skin. I paid it no attention, my mind only focused on that one thought.

I would have to leave it all behind.

* * *

**A/N: **I think I'm tearing, right now... sniffle, sniffle. I can't believe that I'm already starting to wrap this story up. It's like I just started! I feel like Blair did at the end of this chapter. It went by so fast. I think I only have two more chapters officially planned out after this one. Oh god, I'm gonna start crying. LOL...

Anyways, review and tell me what you thought. I want to know, and since I'm not a mind reader...you'll have to share.

P.S. Is anyone else excited for that new movie? Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World? LOL, have you even heard of it? I, being the big Michael Cera fan that I am, am gloriously excited for it. Haha...I hope it's not a dissappointment. That would blow...


	9. Author's Note: Unleash Your Imagination

**A/N: **Hey guys. Listen...I feel like I'm ending this too soon. Two chapters? Come on...that brings this story to a grand total of...10 chapters. Oh wow...that SOOO many. (Sarcasm, obviously)

So, I was thinking. I want to do one extra filler chapter. Sort of one that brings the whole gang together and unifies them. Something wild. IDK...maybe...they ditch or something. But...I want to know what you think they should do. It can be anything. Just as long as it's something they could do within the time frame of the day. And, I can combine ideas and stuff, so don't worry about if there would be too many ideas sent in already. I take each one into careful consideration, and I love hearing your guys's (probably intoxicated, but excellent) ideas. :D

If I use your idea in my story, I'll give you full credit for coming up with it at the starting quick author's notelet at the beginning of the chapter. Ideas of all sorts are welcome, so don't worry about if they're stupid or not. Who knows...your one "stupid" idea could give me an idea that would make an AWESOME chapter. So don't hold back, my friends. As this site suggests you do, unleash your imagination on me. :D

Thanks again to everyone who reviews or reads my shit. Love you guys.

xoxo,  
MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear


	10. Me and a Couple Bats Go Down in History

**A/N: **Hey guys! I'm SOO glad I decided to extend this story to three chapters. I got some really great ideas from you guys, but the one that really got me excited to go ahead and write something already, was one sent in by DreamDark. So...full credit to her for the idea. You have her to thank for this one, ladies and gentlemen. I did tweek it a little bit to fit the way I wanted the story to go, but I figured she wouldn't mind. (Please don't kill me!)

Hmm...so I was having kind of a crappy day today, and it got me thinking. What do you guys do when you're having a bad day to make yourself feel better? For me...I watch this Youtube video called The Marfan Dance. LOL...I love that video, and I don't know why. It's pretty stupid... But it never fails to cheer me up. So what do you guys do? Just curious.

So without further ado...I present to you, my tenth installment of Just One of the Guys.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Me and a Couple Bats Go Down in St. James History **

**Blair's POV **

It was ten past 7:00 by the time I finally made my way down to the fully packed dining hall from the steamy bathrooms. I had limped down the large staircase after dropping my razor in the shower and stepping on it, managing to slice my foot to ribbons in the process. Man...wasn't I just having an excellent day so far? On the way down, the thought of leaving had weighed heavily on my mind. Unfortunately, my clouded thought cycle had no way of debunking the problem at such early hours. I'm hardly able to remember the left-right sequence of walking when I wake up, let alone strategize.

Nevertheless, I stumbled into the noisy hall with as much of a fake grin on my face as I could muster, and looked around for anyone recognizable. I couldn't make out much of anything, though. Today, the hall seemed unusually crowded and bustling. In fact, I hadn't seen anyone in the bathroom's either. How odd, but it seemed to me that the entirety of St. James' student population had congregated in the dining hall. I pushed myself through a throng on chortling boys, noting that the kids seemed to be encircling something at the heart of the commotion.

"What's going on?" I asked a boy next to me, standing on tip-toe to try to see over the broad-shouldered giant that towered in front of me. The boy chuckled under his breath, a raspy and mean sound. I cringed.

"You didn't hear about it? Some guys played a prank on some poor guy. It was hilarious, you should've seen it." An image of Mikey in a glass case in nothing but his underwear immediately jumped into my mind, and I began to push fiercly through the crowds, abandoning my information source. What I came upon when I finally got to a break in all the people was not Mikey being humilated in undergarments, but something just as equally umpleasant happening to someone else familiar.

T.J. had been duct taped to one of the tables, his body parts held steadfast at his sides, useless. His glasses had been swung off onto the floor, where they lay, broken and twisted. His face was caked with a thick layer of off-color foundation, his mouth mutilated by stark, red lipstick, and his eyes shrouded in smears of blue eyeshadow and thick liner. He also had purpling bruise marks on his throat where he had evidently been held down by his attackers. I pushed my way into the hollow ring of space that surrounded the table and rushed to his side.

"T.J.!" I exclaimed in horror, watching his eyes go wide at the sight of me. "Oh my god, what happened to you? And where the hell are the teachers?" He shook his head frantically, struggling against the thick bonds of tape.

"I don't know, I was bored last night, and I couldn't get to sleep after that dance, so I decided to walk around the building a little bit. Ya know...explore. And all the sudden, I was being ambushed. There must have been five guys. They jumped on me and then dragged me down here where they taped me to this table, smushed some makeup on me, snapped a couple pictures, and left." I gasped in disbelief.

"You've been down here all night?" I asked incredulously. He nodded in a somber fashion, forming his hands into fists as he wiggled around on the table like a fish out of water. All around us, kids were laughing hysterically and trading whispers with eachother, cruelly. I scowled at them fiercly before studying the layers of tape that held him to the table. There were just too many of them. "Shit, I'm gonna need a knife or something." I muttered to myself, pulling uselessly at a knob of it.

"You mean like this?" I heard a voice behind me say. Gerard and Frankie stepped out of the crowd, both brandishing sharp objects to cut the tape with. Gerard had a bread knife from one of the tables in his hand, and Frankie clutched a pair of office scissors, probably borrowed from Clarette, who came running in behind them.

"Dear God!" She exclaimed, scampering towards me and past the two boys. "Who did this?" I shrugged my shoulders before catching sight of something that made acid climb up my throat. Eric was standing at the border of the crowd, surrounded by his usual cronies, snickering at the sight of poor T.J. being publicly humilated. I swallowed the venom to speak.

"I'm not sure, but I think I have a pretty good idea." I grumbled, giving Eric a death glare. He just smirked and then dissappeared into the crowd with the rest of his buddies. "Where are all the teachers?" I demanded as Frankie armed me with another pair of scissors and we all got started with freeing T.J.

"We had a staff meeting before breakfast today to discuss the cleanup of the party. It was only supposed to go to 6:45, but it ran late. Whoever did this must have heard about the meeting and decided to have a little fun." Clarette answered, circling around us as we worked away.

"Yeah, I'll bet he did..." I muttered to myself. Suddenly, Gerard's face was across from mine, grinning playfull as he sawed through a particularily thick wad of tape.

"Good morning..." he said rather sarcastically, brandishing the knife. I felt my face heat up, but returned the gesture, nearly stabbing myself in the eye. A couple minutes later, T.J. was tape free and climbing shakily to his feet, trying to wipe some of the makeup off of his face. I shook my head. We were going to have to do something about this. I turned to Gerard who was standing by me as we watched T.J.'s efforts to scrub the traces of hooker makeup off.

"Where's the rest of the guys?" He shrugged.

"I think Bob and Ray might've made another grocery run. They must be late. It's lucky for them that all this happened. With all the commotion, no one will even notice they're gone. As for Mikey...I don't know. I guess I thought he would be with you." I shook my head, wondering if Mikey had somehow overslept. With everything that had gone on last night, did we remember to set the alarm? I looked back at T.J. He was still trying desperately at the makeup.

"I'm gonna take T.J. to the bathroom to wash his face off. When you meet up with everyone, tell them to meet me in the library thingy we found, after breakfast." I informed him, a plot already in my head. Gerard looked a bit confused.

"Not that I care, but just so you know...we have classes, right?" he told me. I shrugged.

"Screw classes! This is much more important. I'll explain in the library. Right now...I've got a cosmetically abused teenager to tend to." I limped over towards T.J., careful not to tread too hard on my sliced foot.

"Hey, why are you limping?" Frankie asked, catching my little stumbling actions. I saw Gerard look at me quizically out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh...that. I cut my foot with a razor in the shower this morning." I explained nonchalantly. Frank cocked his head to the side.

"How'd you cut your **FOOT**?"

"I was shaving my legs, duh." I blurted without thinking. Both Gerard's and Frank's eyebrows shot up. I think I even saw Clarette do a double take. "Uh...joking, joking..." I covered myself quickly. It took them a minute, but they soon broke out into light laughter. I nodded in encouragement as they chuckled before grabbing T.J.'s sticky hand and dragging him as fast as possible out of the hall and away from any more chances for me to embarass myself.

* * *

"God, I'm so fucking tired of this!" I spewed venomously, pacing back and forth on the tiles of the bathroom. T.J. was positioned at the sink, splashing water on his face and scrubbing violently with an already makeup-caked paper towel. "Don't they have anything better to do than humiliate people? It's pathetic." I slammed my fist against the wall to emphasize my point. T.J. looked at me cautiously.

"Jeese...it's okay. I'm used to it..." he said tentatively, not looking away from my fuming figure as he resumed his scrubbing.

"No! It's not okay! And it really pisses me the fuck off!" For some reason, the whole ordeal had really struck a nerve. Whether it be the knowledge that now was my last chance to put a stop to this, or just that I had grown weary of Eric's stupid antics, I didn't know. All that occurred to me was the desperate need for revenge. And nothing was going to come between me and getting it. "T.J...we have to do something about this. Immediately."

"Like what?" he asked, grabbing a fresh paper towel. "We're the weaklings, remember? They're the big, popular guys who own the school and get away with everything. It's been documented in every high school movie since the beginning of time. The risks outweigh the benefits. We'd be killed!" I shook my head.

"We may be the so called 'weaklings', but what we lack in muscle, we make up for with brains, strategizing abilities, and a hunger for revenge. Trust me...we could do this. Don't you want to humiliate Eric like he does to you? Doesn't all the bullshit he pulls on you make you ravenous?" I encouraged rage to boil over inside of a relatively calm person. And judging by his expression, I was getting nowhere fast.

"Well...yeah, I mean...sure, I'd like to get back at him. But I'd also like to keep my internal organs, thank you very much." He finished getting the makeup off, and leaned back against the sink, folding his arms. "Besides...everyone always talks about revenge, but they never actually **DO** it. Also...there's only two of us, and like...five of them. We don't stand a chance." I grinned, knowing that I could counter everything he had just said.

"First of all...I don't just **TALK** about it, I most defintely attempt it. Years of experience have taught me that. And secondly, it's not **JUST** the two of us. I also have five very willing guys who will surely help us out. In fact, I doubt they'll even think twice about it, 'cause Eric really pisses them off too." T.J. looked puzzled, as though wondering who I could be talking about. I rolled my eyes. "I'm talking about my friends, T.J." He finally nodded in understanding.

"Well...what have you got in mind?" He asked rather suspiciously, eyeing me with a curiosity I could see burning in his eyes. Ah...so I had finally convinced him to stand up for himself, eh?

"You'll just have to wait and see. I'll explain everything when everyone's together. I told them to meet us in this library thing we found the other day. It's past the teacher's rooms. Come on...I'll show you, and then you can help me get everything together. We're gonna turn it into our revenge headquarters!" I grinned eagerly and started to walk towards the exit. T.J. staggered after me, finally smacking into a wall.

"That sounds great and all, but can I go grab my spare pair of glasses? I can't see a damn thing." I rolled my eyes. I was beginning to realize that some of my friends were just a bit nerdy. I watched as T.J. fumbled with an inhaler. Yup...only a **BIT**.

* * *

"That's it...just a **little** to the left...There! We got it!" Me and T.J. were maneuvering a large whiteboard on wheels into the "Secret Library", as we had dubbed it not five minutes ago. We had found the lonely whiteboard lurking in the corner of a deserted classroom, that had probably been the old history classroom judging from the many maps and large posters of important historical documents.

I dusted it off, pleased with our progress of transforming the Secret Library into our headquarters of sorts for all our plotting schemes. Needless to say, the immenent thought of leaving St. James had abandoned my mind recently, leaving the space to be occupied with revenge tactics. And boy, was my head swarming with them! About forty-five minutes, give or take, had passed since I had left Gerard in the dining hall with the request that he tell everyone to meet me up here.

As was the case, I was expecting them any time now. I took a step back to admire our work. Along with the whiteboard we had moved in, there was also a long, wooden pointer we had found accompanying it. We had pushed two square tables together to form a rectangular one in the center of the room, with chairs positioned around it. The one window on the door had been papered over with yesterday's math homework so that no one could see inside. I sighed, proud of my work, not hearing the door swing open in my distraction.

"You didn't set the alarm, dickwad- Whoa..." Mikey had stepped into the room, grumbling about the alarm predicament until he caught sight of the 'redecorating' I had done. "It looks like a freaking CIA headquarters! You're not gonna flip a switch that makes panels in the wall flip around to reveal computers and all sorts of fancy monitors and surveilance screens, are you?" I shook my head.

"Sorry..I didn't have **QUITE **enough time to pull that off. You'll have to be satisfied with what I've got." I gestured to the table, telling him to sit down.

"Umm...might I ask why exactly we're supposed to meet everyone up here? It better be pretty important, 'cause I'm missing Latin for this. And we have a test coming up." I rolled my eyes.

"As I've told everyone who's asked so far, I'll explain when everyone's together." I tapped my foot impatiently as we waited for the others.

"Who's that?" Mikey asked under his breath, referring to T.J. who was standing awkwardly by the white board and glancing at his watch every few seconds. I shrugged.

"That's T.J. He's a friend of mine." I said nonchalantly, looking at the door, eager to begin. Mikey looked back and forth between the two of us.

"Does he know about your...situation?" he whispered so that only I could hear. I shook my head, imploring him not to bring it up right now. I had too many things running through my head. He was opening his mouth to say more when the door opened and the rest of everybody poured in. Bob and Ray seemed extremely out of breath, bursting in and almost flopping into any available chair. Frank and Gerard strolled in casually behind them, shutting the door and looking around.

"Hmmm...why do I feel like something exciting is about to happen?" Frankie asked, a hopeful expression on his face. I grinned.

"Maybe because it is..." I hinted. "Where have you guys been? Breakfast ended ten minutes ago." Frank rolled his eyes.

"We were waiting for these two losers to get back from their little shopping spree." He pointed to Ray and Bob, who I noticed were still clutching bags in their hands.

"You guys **JUST** got back?" I asked incredulously. "How did no one notice you were gone?" They both shrugged.

"Eh...it's a big enough school. No one really keeps tabs on anyone until class starts. So, in that case...we've all been missing for ten minutes." Ray explained, catching his breath. "Anyways...we got food and that's all that matters." He grinned widely and held up two plastic bags which he clutched proudly in both hands. Bob raised his miraculously, too.

I grabbed one, and Frankie grabbed the other two, and we started to take things out and plop them down on the table. I was ravenous for something to eat, not having noticed how hungry I had been getting what with all the plotting I'd been doing. I had to restrain myself from tearing open any of the boxes. Finally, we had everything unpacked and everyone was seated, eating. A few people asked me quietly who T.J. was, but they didn't seem particularily bothered by the fact that he was there.

I sighed as I munched happily on a chocolate chip granola bar and sipped at a cup of orange juice. This seemed like it was going to turn out to be an alright day afterall."So..." Frankie huffed, slamming his own cup of OJ down on the table. "What bringeth us today to this humble abode, dear sir?" He swung his arm heartily, picking up a heavily accented voice to go along with it. I stood up from my seat and proceeded to march towards the blank whiteboard at the head of the table. Everybody's eyes were trained on me. I took a deep breath.

"Allright...I've called everyone here today to discuss the topic of revenge." I grabbed a black whiteboard marker, and wrote across the top of the board **'Revenge'**. Everyone stared at me with curious expressions. I cleared my throat, picked up the wooden pointer, and continued. "As some of you know, us 'weaklings' have been the target of vulgar pranks, tricks, and jokes. We have been opressed and stepped on. And these oppressors are none other than the very own assholes that this school has picked out as the 'good kids'. The five main offenders..."

I wrote the names that I knew of the five guys that had tied T.J. to the table earlier.

**Eric  
Max  
Mystery Asshole 1  
Mystery Asshole 2  
Mystery Asshole 3**

Mikey raised his hand almost tentatively. I pointed at him with the pointer to let him know he had the floor. "Er...what does...'Mystery Asshole one, two, and three mean?" He questioned, obviously confused. I nodded.

"Good question. The term refers to the three dicks whose names I do not know, that are in Eric's little 'posse' and who are also routine offenders. This group of...sickos have been harrassing my friend, T.J. here, with no mercy. Not only has he been taped to the dining hall tables and smeared with makeup, but he has also been the victim of several other pranks and random acts of attack. Right, T.J. ?" He nodded, seeming almost unsure that he was welcome here. I didn't wait for anyone to respond before I continued.

"So...I think it's hight time that we plotted a little revenge on them. Give them a taste of their own medicine. So who's with me?" Immediately, almost everyone's hands shot up. The only hands that remained down belonged to T.J. and Mikey. I sighed. "What seems to be the problem here?" T.J. shrugged.

"I don't know...I'm not gonna have to really **DO** anything, am I? I really don't wanna be sent home to my parents in pieces." I rolled my eyes.

"No, T.J. You don't have to **DO** anything if you don't want to. At least not on the main battlefield anyway. You'll be fine." I turned to Mikey, a death glare in my eyes. He seemed rather immune to my death glares. "And what's your problem?"

"I don't know...I'm not really much of one to break serious rules...I mean-" I cut him off.

"What the hell are you talking about? So far you've started a food fight, participated in the devouring of possibly illegal food, and now you're skipping class to meet in an off limits library. I'm not really sure you have much of a chance at the model student award anymore, Mikey." I informed him swiftly, eager to get over introductions and onto the actual planning part of this whole thing. When Mikey didn't say anything for a long time, I took it that he had given up with his protests, and went on to continue with my little speech.

"So...there are a few key things that can tear apart people like Eric and them. Trust me...I know from experience." I picked up the marker again, and started to write while I spoke. "Numero Uno...they have zero tolerance for humiliation. If you embarrass them even just a tiny bit, they have an internal breakdown. They can't take it. Number two...all guys like him have a dirty little secret that will embarass them until the day that they die. Something that's SOOO humiliating, they can't even tell their closest friends."

I pointed to each segment of scribbled writing, going down the list of key points. "And finally...if you can combine what humiliates them with a way to make it amusing to us and to other people...we have revenge. Any questions?" They all stared blankly at the board. "Okay...great. Now...the first step in planning a great revenge is to decide what kind of revenge it's going to be. In my book, there are three categories of revenge." I started writing again.

"Retaliation, meaning that you do to them what they did to you, pranking, or somehow making them feel guilt. Which route do you wanna take?" I stared at all of them, waiting for anyone to say **SOMETHING**. Gerard finally spoke up.

"Umm...pranking sounds kinda fun. I haven't pranked anyone it awhile." Everyone else started to nod in consent. I erased the board, and wrote **'The Prank'**. At the top.

"Okay...now that we've decided what kind of revenge we're doing, we have to research the victim. Or, in this case, victim**s**." I put five bullet points on the board. "So...one thing we know about each of the targets." I waited, but no one said anything. As it turned out, no one knew particularily anything about any of them. Well...except for Mikey who apparently knew that Eric had "really flowy, blonde hair". To this, he earned the chucking of food items from each of us.

"Well, looks like we have some dirt to dig up. Whose ready to get their hands dirty, boys?" I asked, a hint of evil in my voice. A grin slid on to every face in the room.

* * *

"Station 2, Station 2...reporting to Station 1. Come in Station 1, are you there?" Frankie was hissing into a walkie talkie. He and I were crouching secretively behind a large potted plant on the West Wing. We were waiting for a boy named Shane to pass through the hall. Shane was, according to T.J., Eric's roommate. We were hoping that Shane would be able to shed some light on our information crisis. It was almost 9:00, just about time for classes to switch. And, as we had been informed, Shane would be exiting the classroom directly across from the potted plant we had concealed ourselves with. The walkie talkie Frank was holding suddenly crackled, letting us know we were about to get a response from Station 1, which was Mikey and T.J. peering into the classroom from outside, through a window. They were concealed by a thick layer of bushes.

"This is Station 1 reporting to Station 2. We have confirmed sighting of the Armadillo." Mikey's voice crackled over the walkie. Me and Frankie looked at eachother quizically.

"What the fuck is 'the Armadillo'?" Frankie hissed into the speaker.

"Oh, it's the code name I made up for Shane. They always have cool code names for the subjects in spy movies." Frankie rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Okay...anyways...We are waiting for the signal that the...er...Armadillo...is on the move. We're ready whenever you give the signal." There was a momentary pause, and then Mikey came on again.

"Roger, that. Station 3, what is your status?" Another crackling whoosh, and then it was Gerard over the walkie this time. He was stationed just outside the door of the classroom.

"I'm ready on your signal." he said. "What's Station 4's status?" Ray and Bob were Station 4. Waiting inside the supply closet a little further down the hall. Suddenly, Ray was on the walkie.

"We're all good." I nodded to Frankie, who started to speak.

"Alright...commence operation sequence...NOW!" And Gerard entered the classroom. Our plan was for Gerard to get Shane to stay inside the classroom until the halls cleared of students. Then...Mikey and T.J. would alert us when Shane was on his way out, and me and Frankie would ambush him, dragging him off to the supply closet where Ray and Bob were waiting. A few silent minutes passed, and suddenly, the doors burst open and students came pouring out.

The halls eventually cleared, and now we were just waiting for Mikey's signal. Suddenly, there was that crackling noise again. "The Armadillo is leaving the ranch, and is headed for the desert road! I repeat, the Armadillo is leaving the ranch, and is heading for the desert road." Mikey was yelling into the walkie.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Frankie asked in bewilderment.

"I repeat...the armadillo is-" There was a fumbling noise, and suddenly T.J. was yelling into the walkie.

"He's coming! Hurry!" Me and Frankie looked at eachother and nodded, bracing ourselves. Suddenly, the door opened and a tall boy with long, dirty blonde hair and a bad case of acne came out. Immediately, me and Frankie jumped out from behind the plant and attacked. I jumped ontop of him while Frankie whipped out a bandanna to gag him with.

"What the?" the boy named Shane yelled before Frankie got the gag in. Gerard slipped out of the classroom and used duct tape to bind his hands behind his back. Then all three of us dragged him towards the closet. We tossed him in and onto a chair, locking the door. It was pitch black. Suddenly, I light was shining directly on Shane's face. It was in Bob's hand. He ripped the gag off of Shane. "Who the hell are you? What do you want? I don't want to be in a gang!"

"Where were you on the night of May 5th?" Bob asked suddenly, shining the light harshly on Shane's face. He squinted in confusion as well as from the brightness.

"What?" And suddenly, Bob slapped him. I lunged forward.

"Okay...lets not be **MEAN** to the hostage. We only want to ask him a few questions." I said calmly, searching for the actual light string.

"Sorry..." Bob murmured, "I've just always wanted to try that..." I finally found it and tugged it on. It exposed all of us, crowded into the small room and Shane's confused, frightened expression.

"Maybe I should do the talking..." I suggested. I plopped down on a discarded mop bucket, and cast my eyes to Shane, who sat petrified in the chair. "You're Eric's roommate, right?"

"What? Yeah...I am...Do I know you people?" he blundered about in his words, glancing terrifiedly back and forth between everyone in the room. I shook my head in an answer to his question.

"What can you tell us about him?" I pressed for information, leaning forward and placing my chin in my palm.

"If you wanted to know about Eric, why didn't you just kidnap **him**?" he asked, flinching away from my sudden closeness.

"Yeah, why **didn't** we just capture him?" Frankie asked from over my shoulder, crossing his arms.

"Because, then he would have been expecting something. And that's the whole point of a prank...to **NOT** be expecting it." I explained calmly. "Now...I'm sure you know him well enough. What is he afraid of? Does he have any embarrassing secrets?" At this, everyone in the room inched forward, waiting for Shane to respond.

"What, you mean like that he's never been laid, or something? Eric doesn't really have any embarrassing secrets. He's kind of just...a douche..." We all looked at eachother.

"Well, the feeling's mutual." I told him, trying to get him on our side. "And we'd really like to get some revenge. Eric's been pushing our buttons for far too long and we feel it's about time that he learns his lesson. But...in order to do that, we have to get some dirt on him. So tell us what you know. What is Eric afraid of?" There was a long pause while Shane sat and thought about it.

"If I tell you what I know, will you promise to let me go?" he asked suspiciously, looking over my shoulder at the locked door. I nodded eagerly.

"Pinky swear..." I stuck my pinky out at him hopefully. He, along with everyone else, just stared at me as though I had just proposed some alien ritual. Which, in this case, I might have. "Er...never mind. Just...spill, and we'll let you out. I swear." The whole room held its breath while he contemplated.

"Look...the only thing that I know for SURE that he's afraid of...is spooky stuff. You know...things that go bump in the night, and ghosts and stuff? He's really superstitous. And, I'm pretty sure he's scared of bats, too." He looked frantically at us, obviously hoping that he had satisfied our request. And, oh he had...

I turned to everyone and grinned. "Boys...I think we have a plan." Everyone started to laugh evily. And then there was a tiny cough that interrupted our little celebration. It was Shane, shifting awkwardly in his bonds.

"Umm...could you guys...let me go now? I mean...I gave you what you wanted and all..." Me and Frankie looked at eachother.

"Yeah, sure, no problem." We said in unison. He looked relieved until we hoisted him up, and started to drag him out into the hall.

"Hey! What are you guys doing?" he asked earnestly, twitching. We set him by the wall, still tied up, and started to walk away. "Hey, guys! You can't just leave me here like this! Guys...guys!"

"Come on, we've got some things to get together." I said proudly to my minions. We all chuckled, knowing what the next phase was, and ran off to go find T.J. and Mikey to share the news with.

* * *

I tapped my foot impatiently on the tiles of the bathroom. It was quarter past 11:00, and me, Gerard, T.J., and Bob were hiding out in the bathroom, waiting for news. Ray, Mikey and Frankie had been sent out about forty-five minutes ago to pick up supplies.

I was beginning to wonder why no one was scouring the school for us. I mean...here we were, seven missing students, wandering around the school, leaving the grounds. You'd think SOMEONE would've noticed by now! It got me thinking that maybe the teachers really didn't care about it as much as they let on. Probably just a show for Kirk. Maybe they were fed up with his bullshit, too. Or appalled by his gap. Either way, we had had no trouble getting to and from places, and we felt no need to hide from something we knew wouldn't come.

Although, I will admit, I nearly jumped ten feet in the air when the door to the bathroom finally swung open. Thinking it was finally one of the teachers (or even Kirk, himself!), I prepared to run for the nearest stall. But it turned out just to be the rest of the guys returning from their shopping trip, looking absolutely delighted, but empty handed. "Where's all the stuff?" I asked, confused.

"We took the liberty of setting everything up for you. Hope you don't mind. But everything's ready to go. All we have to do now is find a way to make sure that Eric and his buddies are the first ones down on the way to lunch." Ray explained everything, hoisting himself up so that he could sit in the edge of a nearby sink. T.J. was pacing nervously.

"This is never gonna work...We'll never be able to pull it off." he muttered anxiously, probably not meant for anyone to hear.

"Relax, T.J. Everything's gonna work out just fine. Trust me...We planned carefully. This thing is gonna go off without a hitch." I punched his shoulder to imitate what every guy seemed to do to offer someone comfort. Unfortunately, I think I did it a LITTLE too hard. He tumbled sideways and smacked into a wall.

"Ow! Mason! What was that for?" he cried, rubbing his shoulder and looking up at me through furrowed brows. An expression of sympathy flooded my face.

"Woops, sorry...Guess I underestimated. Sorry about that." I bit my lip and looked away. Hey...at least it wasn't something humiliating like it usually was. But T.J. shuffled away from me a little bit, continuing to rub his shoulder. "So...how're we gonna get those assholes down to lunch before everyone else?" I asked, trying to change the subject and draw attention away from the fact that I had just punched my friend. People started to ramble off ideas. Everything from a hostage takeover of the school, to hiring a member of the Mafia that was related to Bob's Uncle somehow.

Unfortunately, we had neither the time nor the money for anything major. I was pondering fiercly when Bob's face lit up. "Hey!" he said, obviously excited to come up with a possibly good idea to get into the air. "Do you think we could get a little favor from that hot secretary down in the office? You know...the one that gave us food that one night?"

"Clarette? What could she do?" I asked, trying to see how his suggestion fit in with the whole scenario.

"Well...we'd just get her to...maybe like call them down to the office or something. They'd all come into the Great Hall at roughly the same time, that way. And...it's pretty much foolproof. I mean...they can't say **NO** if they're called down to the office." I thought about it for a minute. And the more the idea lulled around in my head, the better it sounded, until it became the perfect solution.

"Brilliant!" I said, excited to be finally getting everything in order. "Great...Well...if she'll do it..." I tacked on doubtfully.

"Hey, you never know until you try..." Frank said, walking towards the exit. "Besides...if all else fails...I'm sure my **STUNNING** good looks will win her over in the end." He winked at us and flipped his hair majestically. I rolled my eyes and got up to follow.

"Sure thing Frankie...Tell you what...if everything else goes down the toilet, we'll make sure to get that in there..."

* * *

"But of course! I would love to finally get some revenge on those boys! They're always picking on people. In fact...if I wasn't so concerned about losing this job, I would've kicked their asses a **LONG** time ago!"

We all stared wide eyed at Clarette as she sat, grinning, behind her little desk. "Are you serious?" I asked her. "You're not even gonna...lecture us, or something?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you want me to lecture you?"

"No, no...That's okay! We're good!" we all said, trying to avoid anything that was avoidable. And hey...if she wanted to help us so willingly...it's not like we were gonna argue with her.

"So..." she said, standing up from her desk eagerly, "What do you need me to do?"

"All you need to worry about doing is going to the classrooms of these five guys and telling them they need to come down to the office. This will get them exactly where they need to be in the great hall." I told her easily. "After that, you're free to go." She nodded, clearly ready to do what was asked of her. "Okay, but also, we need the names of these three guys we don't know. They hang around with Eric and Max alot?"

She thought for a minute before her face lit up. "That would be Mike, Jordan, and Kellan, no doubt. Those boys have been inseperable since day one when they first got here in freshmen year." She sat down at the desk and began to type something into her battered computer."I can look up what classes each of them are in, and then I can go ahead and go down there whenever you're ready." Her eyes didn't leave the screen as her fingers moved in blurs across the clicking keyboard.

I turned to Ray. "Are you **POSITIVE** that it's all set up?" I asked, wanting to make absolutely sure that everything was prepared so that nothing would go wrong. The timing needed to be absolutely perfect if this was going to work. He nodded solemnly. I glanced at the small clock mounted on the wall behind Clarette's desk. It was nearly quarter to 12:00. "Alright, Clarette, whenever you're ready." She hopped up, pressing her hands to her mouth to contain a squeal, and ran out of the room, carrying a sticky note on which she had written the classrooms down.

"Alright...positions everybody." I said and everyone saluted. Well...aren't I a special snowflake today...

* * *

The great hall stood completely silent, dazzling in all its dark beauty and quiet. Almost breathtaking, if you ask me. Well...not that I was doing much breathing anyways. I was totally nervous and trying to stay completely silent. Ray, who was stationed with me, saw my face and gave a low chuckle. "Mason, relax...Your face is turning blue. You're no good to anyone dead." I nodded and tried to get my lungs under control. I just had this aching feeling that something would go terribly wrong.

If I was expelled or suspended, how was I possibly going to get any information for Maggie at all? The feeling of guilt started to seep into my insides. I had occuppied half of my day so far with plotting a prank when I should have been spying on Kirk or reading files, or something productive. _"Snap out of it Blair!" _I told myself in my head. _"This is no time to be thinking about that. As soon as this is done, you'll get right to hunting for some clues. It'll work out just fine..." _I finally calmed myself down enough to breath correctly, and my face started to return to its normal flush.

Suddenly our walkie-talkie crackled on, startling me, and almost causing me to jump ontop of Ray. He pushed me off as kindly as he could, rolling his eyes, and picked up the walkie. Mikey's voice crackled over the speaker. "He's coming!" And then all was silent again. I took a deep breath. Ray glanced down at me.

"You ready for this?" I gulped, but nodded. He swiftly bent over, allowing me to hop on his shoulders. The long, black hooded cape I was wearing nearly covered both of us, it was so long. The only visible part was Ray's feet. He staggered a little at first under my weight, but then steadied himself out and proceeded to walk to his position by the corner that blocked us from view just on the top of the main stair case. I heard footsteps and then two voices in the hall.

"I can't believe we got called to the office." One of them said.

"Yeah...Hey, is that Eric and Max?" another questioned. Their voices sounded unfamiliar so I assumed they were the three boys whose names I hadn't know.

"Yeah, guess they got called down here too. Small world." A third person added. More footsteps clacked into the hall. This time, Eric's voice could be heard loud and clear. That stupid arrogant voice of his made the acid in my stomach churn.

"Shit...my dad's gonna be pissed if I'm in trouble." he said. Their footsteps came to a halt and they greeted eachother. Suddenly, the lights in the great hall went out. It was pitch black. "Wh-What's going on?" I heard Eric say urgently, and fought to contain my laughter. Eric was afraid of the spooks? Well...I guess we'll have to give him a show, then. I grinned.

"Come on...let's do this..." I whispered in Ray's ear. He nodded, and we started to walk out into view, though no one could see us yet because of the darkness. And then Bob, who was working the lighting, snapped on the dim lights on the stairs. They were embedded into the stairs, and only cast an eerie glow over us. We could see their terrified faces turn to face us as we stood grimly at the top of the stairs. They all began to whimper.

"What...what is that thing?" One of the boys asked, trembling.

"That's your que..." I hissed to Ray, nudging him in the shoulder. He quietly cleared his throat and then began to boom out in a loud voice:

"Those who have sinned shall be punished! You who have wreaked havoc on the lowly of this world shall rot in your selfishness and your own internalized misery! You are condemned to be forever haunted by the visions of those onto whom you inflicted such misery! Let this serve as a reminder that you will get what is coming for you!"

They all began to shake. "Oh god! I knew it was true! Bad karma! It's finally come back around!" Max shouted, positively quivering with fear. It took all I had in me not to break out into hysterical laughter. And then the lights snapped off again. Ray silently descended the stairs, moving to creep behind the little shaking group they had formed. It was time to play with their heads.

"Wh-Where'd it go?" an unfamiliar voice said quietly. We were finally behind them now. And then the lights to the stairs came on again. They were all facing away from us, staring at the stairs. They didn't pay me and Ray any attention.

"Oh my god!" One of the guys shouted. For while the lights had been turned out and me and Ray had been sneaking around, Gerard and Frankie had worke their magic with the special effects. They had been concealed behind the slightly cracked open door to the basement that was right next to the stair case. The stairs were now painted with "blood", which was actually just some Ketchup from the local Walmart. And at the bottom of the staircase, his shirt soaked in it, was T.J. , playing dead. "Holy shit! That's that kid we were giving a whirlie to this morning! I guess he really did die!"

Then the lights went out again, giving T.J. a chance to make his escape. Finally, the whole great hall was lit up again. Ray leaned in real close to their little group. "Boo." was all he said, but they all started screaming like little girls, and they ran rampantly around the room. And then Bob killed the lights again so we could make the infamous cleanup. Man...Bob was really doing a great job with the lighting. Gerard and Frankie rushed to the stairs with rags and mopped up the ketchup, using the tiniest of flashlights.

The boys were all too busy running around and screaming to notice any small lights cropping up. And I hopped down from Ray's shoulders, and we both ran to get to the basement door. Thankfully, the switches for all the lights were in there, so Bob didn't have to make a run for it once the lights were on. "Everyone back in?" I aksed. I heard them all respond and then motioned for the lights to turn back on. Not paying any attention, the boys continued to run in circles and scream.

I couldn't hold it back anymore. We all started to laugh so hard that we were beginning to cry. Even T.J. , soaked in Ketchup was chortling. I handed him a spare T-shirt to change into. "Boys, we've done good." I told them proudly. "Bob, excellent job with the lighting Gerard and Frankie, you guys had some kick-ass special effects, and Ray...you made a great demon guy." They all beamed proudly.

Suddenly, there was the loud sound of hundreds of kids filing into the great hall. What they came upon was Eric, Max, Mike, Jordan, and Kellan all running around like scared children, screaming. Then we saw Headmaster Kirk descend the stairs.

"What on Earth is going on down here?" he shouted over the confused murmurs of the students that had just walked in. Max suddenly fell to his knees at Kirk's feet.

"It's coming for us! The demon, the monster! It wants to punish us for what we've done!" He cried, looking on the verge of tears. The other boys came forward as well. Eric lagged a bit in the back.

"It's true, Headmaster! He came down the stairs and there was blood all over and everything!" They all yelled at once. And then a great silence fell over the hall. Suddenly, the whole student body burst out into roars of hysterical laughter. It was as though nothing as funny as this had ever happened before.

"Psychos!" Somebody bellowed from the crowd. At this, everyone laughed harder. Headmaster Kirk was shaking his head. We were all laughing again, and then I realized that Mikey was nowhere in sight.

"Hey, where's Mikey?" I asked. We all looked around, but could see no sign of him. And then...we heard something that no surprise will ever top.

"Unleash the fucking bats!" Mikey's voice echoed through the room. He was nowhere in sight, but suddenly, a small swarm of bats soared into the hall, and dive-bommed directly at the boys and Kirk.

"Ahhh! I hate bats!" Eric yelled. "Get it away! Get it away!" And the whole group of them, including Kirk started to run for the main doors that led outside, the bats chasing them wildly as they went. A little bat picked up Kirk's wig and started to fly away. A stunned silence filled the hall.

And then everyone burst out with cheers and clapping. I had a grin a mile wide on my face at the mere sight of it. "Come on..." I said to everyone. "Let's get into the lunch hall before anyone notices us." The kids were all too busy celebrating to see us quietly slip through the doors to the Dining Hall. We seated ourselves comfortably at a table and began to fill up our plates. Looked like burgers was on the menu today. Along with fries, a large salad, and a geletin mold. We were beginning to eat when Mikey rushed in.

We all stood up and clapped. "Dude, that was awesome!" Ray yelled proudly. Mikey blushed and beamed at the floor. Gerard swung an arm around his little brother.

"Ya know, Mikes...I never thought I'd say this, but...I'm proud to be your brother. That was awesome." This cause Mikey to grin even wider. Ah...brotherly love. Where would we be without it? None of us even bothered to ask where he'd gotten the bats. We didn't particularily want to know. 0_o

Gradually, the Dining Hall filled with students and everyone started eating, laughing and joking loudly about what had just happened. None of the teachers were even here yet. They were probably chasing bats around the building on Kirk's orders, trying to get his toupee back. I laughed at the jovial thought. With a mouth full of burger, the doors burst open and Kirk swarmed in.

"You!" He yelled, pointing directly at our group. His wig was lopsided. We looked up at him with our mouths stuffed as he came to tower over us. "You were the only students missing from class today! It had to have been you who planned this ridiculous prank! There's no one else it could've been! What on Earth are you playing at? You'll all be expelled for this!" Before any of us could swallow our food to say anything, a voice came from behind Kirk.

"Headmaster, I'm sorry, did I forget to tell you?" Clarette clicked up to stand next to him. "I had them in the office all morning doing some work around the place. I was with them the whole morning, there's no way they could have done anything. I was with them the whole time. I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to notify their teachers! How silly of me!" She winked at us when Kirk wasn't looking.

"You-You did?" he asked incredulously.

"Why, I most certainly did, Headmaster! I'm sorry to have forgotten and caused so much trouble." she said, pouting slightly. We all grinned.

"Well..." Kirk cleared his throat. "I guess you're off the hook then. For now... But I've got my eye on you." He narrowed his already beady eyes to slits.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do, you pedophile..." Frankie muttered under his breath. We all snorted, but turned it into a coughing fit.

"Well, Clarette, that was irresponsible. I guess you'll just have to make it up to me later." He grinned suggestively at her and bumped into her sexually as he passed by, straightening his wig. Clarette rolled her eyes and flipped him off, sticking her tongue out at his retreating form. Then she smiled broadly at us and went to take he seat at the teacher's table. We stared wide-eyed and forever greatful after her.

"I think I love that woman..." Ray said in awe. We all nodded.

"You know...something tells me that this prank is going to go down in history here, guys." I said. "Like in fifty years, everyone will still be talking about the epic prank that was played out in the Great Hall." Everyone beamed.

And for now, everything was A-Ok. I wasn't worried about time limits or snooping, or even my girl situation. Here I was, sitting with my friends, eating burgers and laughing about an amazing, historical prank we had just pulled. Oh yes, life was good.

Even if it wasn't really **MY** life.

* * *

A/N: Special thanks to anyone who submitted ideas. Love you guys. Next chapter should be up soon enough. Thank you for your amazing patience and committment to this story. Each and every one of you is absolutely amazing! :D


	11. Author's Note: Chuck Norris Bowflex? WTF

**A/N: **Okay...I know it's been a super long time since the last update, but I've been running around like crazy, cause my school start's tomorrow. I've been shopping for clothes, school supplies, I've been trying to get everything organized. I'm lucky if I can find time to sit down for two minutes let alone, get a chapter posted.

So...I was just wanting to update you all and let you know that I didn't die in a freak accident or anything. Haha...I'm about halfway through the chapter though, so don't fret my dears. :D

Guess that's all I wanted to say. Your patience is much appreciated.

xoxo,  
MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear

P.S. Guess what I saw on TV today! Chuck Norris in a Bowflex commerical. I was like "Oh hell! How'd they get Chuck Norris?" LOL...I was laughing for a good five minutes.


	12. What Lurks Behind Closed Drawers

A/N: "Hey there my little muffin tops, isn't it a bright and sunshiney day today?" Yeah...I feel like that's what I hear every time I turn on the tv in the morning. Kid's shows are getting more and more intoxicated as time goes on. I mean sure, Dragon Tales and Barney were a little flambouyant, but the shows they have on nowadays are ranking up to well past the point of being emotionally unstable, psychosis-inducing.

Anywho...just thought I'd go ahead and update. I figured nobody would mind. :D

* * *

**Chapter 11: What Lurks Behind Closed Drawers **

**Blair's POV **

"Mr. Foster!" The sharp, snapping tone of the horse-riding instructor jerked me out of my stupor. She was a short, thin woman with a mousey little face and fierce blue eyes. Strands of her blonde hair fell out of her riding helmet and lay against her slightly sweaty forhead. She was currently perched ontop of a large, dappled horse named Minnie, and it made her seem as intimidating as her loud voice.

"Er...who? Oh...me! Yeah..." I said, pointing to myself like I was retarded or something. Me and Bob had been laughing about our recent prank on Eric, and apparently, Ms. Folger had caught that my attention was elsewhere other than her instructions.

"Mr. Foster..." she repeated sternly, staring straight down at me where I sat on a hay bale with Bob, "Would you kindly share with us the name of **THIS** body part? It should be easy enough, seeing as I've just gone over it." She pointed to a spot on the lower part of the horse where it's back met it's thigh. I stared at it for a minute, the answer completely escaping me. The only time I had come anywhere near a horse was almost ten years ago. I was seven and we were on a Girl Scout fieldtrip.

In fact, I had wanted a pony for a little while. At least until I figured out that all a pony really meant was huge steaming piles of crap all over your lawn, but no rainbows or magical fields. :(

"Er...the...edible part?" I said hesitantly, looking around for help. Bob looked just as baffled by the question. The other students burst out laughing at this, and Ms. Folger shook her head in dissappointment.

"No, Mr. Foster...I believe the correct term is loin. I catch you not paying attention again and it's detention after dinner." And with that, she went on to her next topic of discussion. The whole lesson was pretty boring until the end when we actually got to go near the horses. Only then did it actually get interesting.

"God...how are you supposed to get on these things?" Bob was saying, eyeing the horse suspiciously. He walked cautiously to it and put both hands on it's back. It gave a soft whinny, and he backed away abruptly. "Uh-uh...no way. That thing is going to eat me or something." He raised both hands in the air as if in surrender, and continued to back up.

"Relax Bob, it's not as hard as it looks. It's actually pretty easy. Come on...I did it when I was in Girl Scouts, and that was like...ten years ago." I gestured at the horse while he stared at me like I had suddenly grown another head. I looked behind me. "What?" I said, confused when I saw nothing. "Did I say something?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Er...nope, not at all. Okay..." He tentatively approached it again and this time cocked his head to the side. "Alright..so I'm just gonna..." He leaned in and tried to push himself up onto its back. It neighed this time, and shifted, causing him to almost fall forward. "Alright, so it's gonna be like that, is it now?" Bob cracked his knuckles, backing up again. I shook my head, wondering what exactly he meant to do. And suddenly, he was climbing up onto a nearby pile of boxes filled with horse feed.

"So it's come to this, has is, Bessy? Well...I'll show you a thing or two about horse riding." Bob muttered to himself from the top of the pile.

"Er...Bob, what exactly are you doing up-" And he suddenly jumped ontop of the horse from where he stood. It emitted a shrill scream of neighs and brays, before bucking wildly. Bob, who had his arms and legs wrapped around it's middle, slid to the side so that his face was burried in the horse's rib cage. And then it swished around and shot out of the holding area like a bullet, with Bob still hanging on for dear life.

"Mother fucker!" I heard him yell as the horse bashed through the slightly open fence entrance and out towards the sports field a little ways away. I stood where I was in dismay, watching it circle around a group of boys in jerseys. Ms. Folger calmly trotted up beside me on her horse, pulling a walkie-talkie out of her pocket.

"Hello, we have a bit of a situation down here. We had another one try to jump onto the horses to mount the saddle. We'll be needing an ice pack and some rags, then. Thanks." I looked up at her as she watched Bob calmly from where she sat, not even bothering to pretend to be concerned.

"Umm...what do we need the rags for?" I asked, looking back at Bob who was now slipping slowly from the horse as it high-tailed it back towards the stables.

"You'll see in five, four, three...two...one..." And Bob was suddenly thrown from the horse. He flew a couple feet forward, airborne, before landing smack dab in a big pile of...

* * *

"Shit? Of all the places I could've landed after falling off of that stupid horse, I had to land in a heaping pile of horse shit? It's official...God hates me." Bob was complaining loudly as we trecked up the path back towards school. The rest of the kids had run ahead of us as we lagged behind, but T.J. was also accompanying us back up the hill.

I rolled my eyes as we listened to him complain all the way up to the big double doors that led us to the entrance hall. "And guess what, Bob..." I started to tease, "We have history class next. Doesn't that sound like fun?" He groaned loudly.

"Ugh...well, I have to go change anyways. Maybe it'll take me longer than I thought it would, and perhaps my two friends will back me up with the story that I sprained my ankle in a horse riding accident..." He smiled at us hopefully and put his hand up to his face to complete the angelic look. Me and T.J. looked at eachother.

"Well, it depends what's in it for the two friends." I hinted, raising my eyebrows.

"How about a freebie cover up story from me the next time you guys want to skip. I can come up with some good ones." I thought about it. Hmm...well, not much of a benefit for me, seeing as I was leaving tomorrow morning, but... Oh crap...I was leaving tomorrow morning. And that familiar sinking feeling returned to the pit of my stomach. I looked at Bob and saw him riding sideways on his horse again. I looked at T.J. and saw him laughing hysterically after the prank we played on Eric.

It made me wonder...What did they see when they looked at Mason? Not me...that's what. They saw a pseudonym for Blair. A fake. And they believed it. And that's when the guilt started to creep in. The feeling that I was using, and betraying. "We'll take it." T.J. offered, grabbing my arm. "Now come on...we're late enough as it is." And I allowed myself to be lead to the history classroom, hollow again.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day stumbling around listlessly, not able to concentrate on anything but my immenent departure tomorrow morning. T.J. asked me on multiple occasions if I was alright, to which I responded that I was fine, just tired from a bad night's sleep. He seemed a little skeptical about my story, but didn't push any more questions at me.

It was now dinner time. Usually, one of the most jovial times of my day here. When all of us were together in a group, laughing and joking around, not a care in the world. But today...it was a solemn affair for me. I wasn't even hungry. I pushed the fish sticks around on my plate and made halfhearted attempts to put a strawberry or two in my mouth, but it all tasted like dust. And when **I'm** not hungry, you know that something is **SERIOUSLY** wrong. And apparently, Mikey caught this as well.

"You okay?" he asked me under his breath, as he was sitting next to me. I nodded my head, and took a bite out of a fish stick to appease him. He looked at me with a critical eye. "No you're not..." he pressed, "What's wrong? I've never seen you like this. What happened? Did somebody find out about your...situation?" I turned to him, feeling suddenly a bit bitter at all these questions he was throwing at me.

"You know what, Mikey? There's really alot that you just don't understand right now, okay? And I can hardly concentrate on my own thoughts let alone someone else's questions." His expression suddenly looked quite withdrawn and he slowly turned away and resumed munching on his food, not looking at me. I sighed, feeling guiltier than ever. What the hell had Mikey ever done to me? He'd kept my secret, been my friend, and now all he wanted was to make sure I was okay. And here I was...yelling at him.

I reached out and touched his shoulder. "Mikey, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I've just been on edge today, I guess. But no...nothing's seriously wrong." I lied, almost trying to convince myself of this. He was quiet for a minute, but then he looked at me again.

"That is complete and utter bullshit, and you know it. If you don't wanna tell me what's wrong, that's fine. But I though we agreed, no more secrets." For the first time since I had known him, he looked a little pissed at me. I felt my eyebrows raise, and I backed up a little bit. I had never seen him angry before. I bit my lip. He looked at me for a little bit longer as though expecting me to say something.

"Mikey...I-I don't know how to explain. I just..." I was completely at a loss for the right words. Now didn't seem like the right time to tell him that I was leaving. I couldn't just spring it on him like that, but he was pissed that I wasn't telling him. He sighed heavily and stood up.

"Hey, I have to go. The biology teacher wanted to see me about something." And he started to walk away from the table, followed by the confused expressions of his friends. I was the only one who knew that it was me who had made him leave. And I felt an absolutely horrendous amount of guilt set in. They all turned to look at me. I avoided having to talk by taking a huge bite of fish stick, and nearly gagging on it.

The rest of dinner, everyone was unusually quiet. Almost as if everyone knew something was on the verge of happening. When everyone's plates were clean, but no one moved, I finally climbed up from the table and asked if anyone was actually going to **GO** to study hall that night. They all shook their heads. I sighed and then said that I was going to go upstairs and lay down because I felt sick. No one said anything.

I wobbled up the stairs, and almost made it to the room, when I got this uncontrollable feeling inside of me, and a sob wracked my lungs. I ducked quickly into the bathroom, thanking God that it was deserted, and locked myself in a stall. I let the tears run down my face, breathing loudly against any sobs that wanted to escape. I closed my wet eyes and leaned my head against the side wall, sitting on the toilet with the seat down. I hadn't cried this hard in years. I wasn't normally a crier. Ever.

I was so wrapped up in my unexplainable tears, I didn't hear that someone was walking quietly into the bathroom, and continued to cry as quietly as possible. In fact, I didn't even notice until I saw a pair of black shoes standing outside of my stall. I halted my tears as quickly as I could, drawing in a shaky breath and holding it. Whoever was standing out there was completely silent. I swallowed the lump in my throat. And then, they began to speak.

"Mason...what's going on?" I felt my misty eyes go wide. Gerard was standing on the other side of the stall, his voice full of concern. I let my breath go, almost choking on the air.

"Um, nothing, really...Just using the bathroom and stuff. Everything's cool...I'll be out in a minute." I tried to sound macho, wiping the tears fiercly from my cheeks with a wad of toilet paper. I heard Gerard sigh.

"Mason, do you really think I'm that stupid? I can hear you crying. What's wrong?" I saw him walk a little ways forward.

"Wh-What are you talking about? I'm not crying. Guys don't cry. You know...they just...don't." I stood up and flushed the toilet to make it sound as though I had been using it. Wiping as much of the redness as I could out of my probably puffy eyes, I opened the door to the stall. Gerard stood solemnly there, just looking at me. He raised his eyebrows. I cleared my throat awkwardly and stepped over to the sinks to unnecessarily wash my hands.

"You're full of shit...Now seriously...what's wrong?" He crossed his arms and stood behind me. I could see his face in the mirror. It was concerned, but stone hard since he knew I was lying my face off. I tried to speak.

"I-I don't know...I guess I'm just having a bad day. I cant...I can't get anything under control." I bit my lip because my eyes were starting to sting again. If I cried now, Gerard would either think I was some sort of pussy, or realize that something out of the ordinary was up. But even when one tear slipped out, his facial expression only showed deeper concern. "Really, Gerard, you shouldn't worry about me." I gave a weak smile, but felt my lips itching to slide down into a deep frown. I fought it off.

He stepped in front of the exit and planted himself firmly there. "Mason, you're not getting out of this bathroom until you tell me what the hell is going on. You don't seem like an easy crier, so what on earth happened?" I looked down at my feet. Did I really want this? He was giving me an opportunity to just tell him everything. To get this burden off of my chest. Maybe he could even offer advice. Maybe he'd take it just like Mikey had. Surprised, but too interested in the situation to do anything serious about it. "Mason, it's okay. I've cried before when something's gone wrong. And I'm not ashamed to admit it."

There he went again with that trustful manner of his. It was impossible not to feel comfortable around him. Not to feel like you could tell him absolutely anything, and he wouldn't judge. Those hazel eyes held nothing in their depths but compassion, loyalty, and an honorable soul. And he had just given me the perfect opportunity. "I...I..Well it's hard to explain..." I stuttered over the words, but he waited patiently, prepared to look past my stuttering issue. I started to scrape a bit of dried toothpaste off of the sink as I became nervous. There was nothing in here to organize. "I...Well, you see...my..." He looked at me expectantly. I took a deep breath. "Uh...my grandma died." I blurted out.

I caved. It was too nerve wrecking to spill the beans. I couldn't stand to take the chance that he might not trust me anymore. But then again...I had just lied about my grandma dying. An expression of such sympathy took over Gerard's features, that I could actually feel it coming off of him in waves. "I...just found out about it..." I continued, cringing inside. He walked slowly over to me and then put a hand on my shoulder. He patted it, and I felt my heart skip a beat, like in every cliche book describing it.

"Jeese...I'm really sorry. I had no idea." He said, looking apologetic that he had pushed me to tell him what was wrong. Of course, I felt nothing but guilt.

"It's...It's okay, really. You couldnt've known." I looked around nervously, praying for something to happen that would stop this little conversation. Make sure it was never brought up again. Maybe if I knocked him out hard enough...I eyed him curiously, wondering how hard exactly I would have to hit him to iduce amnesia.

"No, it's not okay. But, if if makes you feel any better, I know how you feel. My grandmother passed away a couple months ago, too. The woman practically raised me and Mikey. She was amazing. Taught me everything I know. And now she's just...gone. Its an awful feeling isn't it?" I felt my eyes go wide. **His grandma had passed away?** Oh god, I was going to hell...

"Er...yeah...it's awful." I said sheepishly, trying to look into his sympathetic eyes without feeling the burn of guilt. He patted my shoulder again and then stepped back.

"Hey listen...you can come back to my room for a little bit if you want, man. We could watch Dawn of the Dead or something. Nothing like a good zombie movie to cheer you up." He smiled, and my insides melted. I felt a goofy grin trying to work it's way onto my face. I supressed it, not wanting to make Gerard think I was intoxicated or something.

"Yeah, alright...Dude...yeah. Gore and...guns. Whoo!" I fist pumped and he looked at me a little skeptically before chuckling.

"Well, you recover fast. Come on...I've got microwave popcorn and everything."

* * *

**_"AHHHHHH!" _**The laptop blared out with a wild scream, followed by the pop of gun fire as the woman on screen ran from her undead attackers. I was sitting on the floor, my back leaning against Gerard's bed, the laptop in between us as we crunched on a bag of buttery popcorn hot from the microwave in the office. Clarette had been nice enough to let us use it for our gluttonous needs. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table to my right, catching that it was 7:20 p.m.

I yawned slightly, feeling exauhsted. It had been a long day. Gerard glanced away from the movie to catch me in mid yawn. He raised his eyebrows. "Dude, are you tired **ALREADY**? It's only like... 7:00 at night." I shrugged my shoulders and stifled another yawn. "Wow...I'm not even...even...close to being...tired." But his sentence was interrupted several times by a long, stretching yawn. I snorted.

"Right...you seem **WIDE** awake." I shoved another handful of popcorn into my mouth and turned my attention back to the movie. We were just over an hour into it, and it was beginning to get suspensful and action-filled. Of course, I would pick now to start getting tired.

As the movie wore on and started entering into the final, climaxing fight scenes, filled with gore, and chainsaws, and machine guns; I could feel my eyes starting to droop. Not even the fact that they were beginning to drop grenades into the sea of zombies could keep my attention. I leaned my head back against the rim of the bed, and turned my eyes to Gerard. He had slumped over to the side, his face smushed against the bedpost. From the looks of him, and his deep breathing, he had been asleep for a little while now.

I chuckled under my breath to myself, and looked up at the cieling of the bunk. "Oh, if you only knew..." I muttered.

"If I only knew what?" My eyes went wide. Gerard had replied in a sleepy murmur, not even bothering to open his eyes. He only twitched a little bit. I yawned again.

"Nothing, Gerard...nothing at all..." And he dozed off again, his face smoothing out, looking almost childlike again. I smiled weakly and let my eyes slide shut before drifting off, myself.

* * *

_Clunk, Clunk, Clunk, Clunk. _My eyes ripped open, and I found that I had my face pressed up against something bony, oddly shaped, and warm. Pulling my face away slowly from the foreign surface, I discovered it to be Gerard's leg. A small spot that my moist breath had formed on the pant leg still shone. I wiped my eyes sleepily and glanced up at him, feeling more than a little bit embarrassed that I had slumped over onto him.

Thankfully, he remained fast asleep, his face still smushed into the bedpost like it had been when I had dozed off. The laptop had started to replay the movie, the volume muted. I sleepily groped out and switched it off, causing the room to go pitch black. Only the bright red numbers on the alarm clock shone in the darkness. It was quarter past three in the morning. I almost laughed to myself.

But then I remembered what had awoken me in the first place. That clunking sound of hurried footsteps going down the hall. At three in the morning? Something had to be up... I carefully slid away from Gerard, trying desperately not to wake him, and then tiptoed to the door. The lights were still bright in the hallway, left on for weary stragglers who dared venture to the bathroom in the middle of the night. "Duh, Blair..." I murmured to myself. "That's probably just what it was. Some poor guy on his way to the bathroom."

Nevertheless, curiosity got the better of me, and I slipped out of the room, careful to make as little noise as possible. There was no one in sight down the stretch of hall, but I thought I heard something coming from the bathroom. Not being able to just leave it alone like I probably should have, I started to creep towards the door.

I poked my head around the corner and saw a blonde figure leaning over the sink, his head down, hiding his face. He was making small sniffling noises and wiping furiously at his concealed eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, and then they looked up. I clamped my mouth right back shut again. Eric spotted me in the mirror, my head poking around the corner, and whipped around, clearly irritated beyond reason. "What are you doing in here? Spying on me? Plotting your next little prank?"

His words surprised me a little bit, but I stepped fully into the room, refusing to be afraid of anything he might decide to do to me. "I could ask you the same question. I mean...it's three in the morning, and here you are...crying in the bathroom. If you ask me, it seems a little...middle-school drama, wouldn't you say?" I pointed out matter-of-factly. My words seemed to pull some nerve in Eric, because his eyes narrowed to slits and he looked just about ready to growl at me.

"I'm not crying..." he snarled, "I was just washing my face off, that's all. And even if I was...It's not like it's any of your fucking business." His hands clenched into fists, but I stayed where I was, unphased.

"Well...language like that so early in the morning? Someone must have really pissed you off. Perhaps someone unleashed a hoarde of angry bats on you earlier this morning?" I grinned in a falsly clueless manner, knowing it was stupid to egg him on but not really caring. He marched forward to me, curled his angry hands around my shoulders and slammed my back against the wall. HARD.

"You don't know the half of it, asshole. So just shut your fucking mouth, got it?" All traces of tears had dispersed from his now furious expression. Right up close to my own pained one. This whole smashing-my-back-into-walls thing was getting old. And painfull... By the time I was done at this place I would need a chiropractor. He held me there, breathing fiercly and in short bursts. And then I spotted something unusual.

"Eric...why do you have bruises all over your neck?" I asked, genuinely confused. Who on Earth could've given him bruises like that here? There hadn't been anything on his neck this morning from what I could remember...But now...his neck slightly resembled that of a spotted cat's. Purpling marks were embedded into his skin all over. I also noticed that his left eye looked a little more swollen. Slightly tinging towards a bruise color. Was he getting a black eye?

He abruptly pulled away and ran to examine his neck in the mirror, as though unaware that he had anything there. He looked on in horror as he studied the marks, and I could see fresh tears welling up in his eyes. I could've easily made a comment about the situation, but something in his expression held me back. There was terror burried in his eyes. Uncomprehension of something awful. Despite who it was, I still found myself a little bit concerned. "Eric...what happened to you?"

There was a moment of silence in the bathroom like no other. I waited patiently for him to say something...anything...But he kept his mouth shut firmly. I stepped towards him. He cringed away when he saw my advance. "What's going on?" He wiped his eyes again.

"W-Why would you care? It doesn't even matter to you..."

"Eric, I know I'm not exactly your favorite person; and believe me...you're not mine either. But...that doesn't mean that I have the right to not care if something bad happened. And from the looks of your eyes...something has." A tentative silence ensued this time. I could see the words burdening the tip of his tongue. Just waiting for an opportunity to release themselves on the world. Believe me...I knew the feeling of having to keep something to myself.

"It's disgusting..." he finally muttered. "It's sick." I crept forward in interest as he cast his blue eyes to the floor.

"What is?" I had a burning desire to know what was up now. Something told me it was messy. A part of me didn't want to know.

"What he does to get the money..." His voice trailed off, but I could tell he wanted to say more.

"Who's '**HE**'?" I had a pretty good idea of who exactly 'HE' was, but I almost didn't want to believe it. I could feel something growing in the pit of my stomach. A sort of feeling that I knew what was coming, but it was just too awful to accept.

"The Headmaster. Kirk...He's disgusting. I-He...he does terrible things just to get some money to pay for this place...I wouldn't-I don't even know what to say." My mind flashed back to that one night when we were waiting for our detention. Eric had hurried out of Kirk's office as quickly as he could, for once not even bothering to give me a hateful look. And there was that shine to his eyes. Like he had been crying.

"That one night when we were waiting in the office..." I didn't need to say any more. He knew what I was talking about. Obviously, it was burned into his memory. Though by what, I wasn't completely sure. And I was even more unsure that I wanted to find out.

"Yeah...That was the first time..." I gulped. Did I dare ask the question? Did I dare figure out what was going on for sure? I could leave it at this. Ask to hear no more. Go back to Gerard's room and curl up next to him. Besides...why did Eric deserve my help? He was the cause for more than half the trouble that I'd faced here. But then again...I hadn't exactly not retaliated in my own way.

"Eric...what did he do to you?"

The question hung in the air like a hook with bait on it. Waiting to catch a shred of what was going on. Alluring and intimidating at the same time. "He called me to his office that night..." Eric began, not looking at me, but studying something on the tiled wall behind me. "Told me to sit down and gave me a cup of tea. I don't like tea much, but I drank a little bit to be polite." His eyes started to go distant, and I could see the terror building in his expression. He was remembering something vividly awful.

"He talked to me for a little bit. Just mostly about school stuff...grades, what I planned to do once I left St. James... And then I noticed the video camera set up in the corner of the room ontop of the file cabinet. And I knew something was up..." I cringed. I wanted to tell him to not say anymore, I didn't want to hear it. But he went on in a dead voice. "I asked him what it was, and he didn't really say anything related to it. I knew I had to leave, so I excused myself. But I started to feel woozy, and my legs weren't working quite the way they should've been. I felt like jello.

"So there I was...slumped on the floor, unable to move, my vision blacking in and out. The last thing I remembered was him locking the door, and me realizing that he must've slipped something into the tea." There was a long, drawn out pause and I could see that his eyes were all watery again. I could feel my own starting to moisten. "And then I woke up in my room without my shoes, tie, or jacket on. And that was that..." He wiped his eyes and turned away. I felt my stomach churning, because I was so sickened by the realization.

I scrambled into a stall, threw the lid of the toilet up, and proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach into the bowl. I'm not normally someone who has a weak stomach. I mean really...I can go on all the rides at amusement parks on a stomach filled with a Chili-Cheese-Dog, doritios, and a funnel cake without even getting nauseated. But this? This was just disturbing. When I finally clamored back out, Eric was sitting on the floor with his head on his knees, like a small child. "Eric..." I said tentatively. He looked up to show that he was listening, but gave no verbal acknowlegment.

"Did this happen tonight?" He shook his head yes and rubbed at the bruises on his neck. I sighed heavily. "Eric why didn't you say anything about it? Why didn't you tell someone?" He shrugged his shoulders, and I could tell that he had no good excuse that he was willing to share.

And then I thought about something. Maggie's little money idea. Maybe Kirk hadn't been paying that guy she had seen in her dad's bank. Maybe it had been the other way around. The guy paying him instead. If I was understanding this correctly, then Kirk was selling videotapes of whatever he did to these poor kids so that he could get money to pay off his debts. I supressed the urge to vomit again. "Eric, we need to tell the police about this. It has to stop. Is there any evidence besides the bruises on your neck?" I had spent many a school night staying up well into the night to watch CSI Miami. I liked to think that I knew the procedure pretty well.

He shook his head at first, but then paused to think. "Well...I think he might maybe keep some copies of the...tapes... in his office somewhere. I'm not exactly sure of the specifics, but..." I nodded. What we needed was evidence against this sick bastard. Something that would get him handed over to the cops no problem. And a copy of the videotapes would do just that.

"Alright...tell you what. You head back to your room, and I'll go down and check out the office and see if I can find anything." Eric agreed as I started to leave. He stopped me by saying:

"Mason...why the hell are you doing all this for me? I thought I was a dick or something?" I grinned.

"Oh, don't worry, you are." He looked stunned by my blunt honesty. "But you're also a human being. And...dick, or not...no one deserves to be treated like this." I started to walk again, but stopped and turned to face him once more. "Oh...and I **AM** sorry about the prank earlier this morning." He nodded, and I could see a **TINY **hint of understanding in his eyes.

I backed out of the room with my hands concealed behind me so that he couldn't see that I had been crossing my fingers. Like hell I would be sorry for a prank of such epic proportions!

* * *

"Na na nana, na na nana... na nuh na nuh nana!" I hummed the tune to Mission Impossible under my breath as I slunk down the stairs that led to the Great Hall. It was pitch black and deserted, giving it a creepy vibe. But I went along, unphased, on my quest. I jumped the last three steps, hoping to land ninja style on the ground, but managing to get off balance and fall face forward, smashing into the floor with such a racket, I thought it would wake the whole school.

I hopped up and looked around, almost expecting someone to be there to see my embarassment. But the hall was as empty as it had been before I had nearly pancaked myself on the floor. I continued on my way, praying that by some miracle, the office door would be unlocked. And fortunately, it was. Peeking in, I saw Clarette's cluttered desk at first before opening the door to reveal the whole inner room. I slipped inside, shut the door as quietly as possible, and then flicked on the lights.

I was momentarily blinded by the brightness, but through my squinty eyes, I could see Kirk's office door, shut firmly. I again prayed for a miracle about this door, but I proved that my luck was short notice. The door was locked securely. "Shit..." I muttered to myself, allowing my eyes to adjust to the change in light. I would have to hunt down a key. "Now...if I was a possible child molestor, where would I keep the key to my office?" I muttered absently to myself. I shifted through some papers on Clarette's desk, and then opened the drawers. They were jammed full of office supplies, but no key of any sort was in sight.

I was beginning to think that he had taken it home and didn't have another copy, when I knocked over a picture frame on the desk. "Aha!" I exclaimed before clapping a hand to my own mouth to stop myself from shouting out any more. Taped to the back of the frame, was a silver key that matched the silver handle of Kirk's office door. I ripped it from it's hiding spot, propped the picture back up where I had found it, and then hurried over to unlock the door.

The key slid in and turned with ease, allowing me to push the door open and flip the light switch. Kirk's office was as spotless and bland as ever. Not a single thing had changed since me and Gerard had last been here, except for that he had left his laptop on his desk. I thought back to Gerard upstairs in his room, sleeping soundly. And I started to smile. There was something about that boy... "Snap out of it, Blair...you have work to do." I reminded myself promptly as soon as my thoughts started to wander too far off track. I shook my head and padded over to the file cabinet where Eric had said that a camera had once been. I opened all the files and sifted through them, discovering nothing more interesting than an order for a few dozen jock straps for the intramural soccer team the school had formed several years ago. Apparently, the idea never took off.

I shoved the cabinet closed and made my way over to the desk. I started to reach for the top drawer on the right before remembering my little surprise last time. I skipped over that one and flung open the one below it. Nothing but a bottle of asprin and the wrapper for a Reese's Cup. The one below that was just about as informative, containing a wide array of office supplies, but no illegal porn. All of the other drawers checked out as well. I sighed, thouroughly frustrated. He had to have something SOMEWHERE. That first drawer was staring me down like it knew something I didn't. I groaned. "Okay...but only for the sake of getting that douche arrested." And I flung open the drawer.

That disgusting vibrator was still there. I grabbed it gingerly, using a kleenex from the box in one of his drawers, and flung it into the trashcan. Below it was an oddly shaped object that I wanted nothing to with either, so I tossed that too. "Well...what's this?" I picked up what looked to be a DVD case and flipped it open, hoping that it would be the evidence we needed, but also half not wanting it to be as well. It turned out only to be a copy of some Carmen Electra workout. I chuckled to myself, but remained frustrated with my lack of findings. The rest of the drawer was empty. "Oh come on..." I said exasperatedly. I shoved the Carmen Electra DVD back into the drawer with force. And then I heard something click.

Confused, I poked my head into the drawer to see what had happened, and saw that the back of the drawer was pushed up, revealing blackness beyond it. "I don't believe it." I said, "It was a false back." I pushed it in fully, and reached my hand into the depths. It brushed several thin, square objects and I eventually pulled one out. I was a DVD alright. Labeled with the name Dean Mueller. I took a deep breath, and turned his laptop on, preparing to see what it was. I slipped it in and waited for it to start playing, watching through my fingers because I didn't want to see anything. Suddenly, it was showing Kirk's office. He was seated behind his desk, and there was a boy I didn't recognize sitting in the chair. I could only see the back of his head.

He started to get up in kind of a hurry, but he started to sway, and then crumpled to the floor. I noticed a cup of tea on the desk and barred my teeth. Kirk grinned and got up from the seat. He left the view of the camera for a minute, probably to lock the door, and then came back. Bending down towards the boy, he started to pull him up and heaved him into a chair. He talked for a minute, and then reached out to grab the boy's tie, starting to undo it.

The laptop lid slammed shut. I gasped, and nearly fell over backwards. A stern looking Kirk was towering in front of me, his arms crossed. I gulped. "And just what do you think you're doing, Mr. Foster?" I backed up and started to stammer out excuses. He was a rapist or something. This was obviously not a safe environment. I needed to get out as fast as possible.

"Nothing...just...I-" There was no excuse in the world that would explain why I was sitting in his office, watching his laptop at half past three in the morning. Other than that I had found out his secret. This was **NOT** going to be good.

"Snooping around in my desk, I see?" He opened the laptop again, and ejected the DVD, placing it carefully back into the clear plastic case I had discarded onto the desk. He studied it in his hands for a moment, and then looked back at me, grinning creepily. I pressed my back into the wall. "Well, I see you've discovered my little secret. Yes...drugging and fooling around with school boys. Dirty, I know...But it sure rakes in the cash if you get it on video tape." He waggled the disc in the air, still smirking.

"You psycho son of a bitch." I said, darting towards the door. He grabbed me firmly by the arm, stronger than I had thought him to be, and threw me sideways into his desk. My side rammed into the corner, and I fell to the floor, clutching my middle and groaning. He heaved my up by my shoulders and whipped me around to face him.

"Yes...Dean Mueller was my first. And you know what Mason?" I gulped and started to struggle, despite the stabbing pain in my side. He held me steadfast and shoved me backwards. I landed on the desk and hit a jar of pens and pencils with a crunch. They were all stabbing my back at once. I let out a shrill yelp. "You're going to be my thirteenth." He sauntered forward and dragged me off the desk, forcing me to stand. He grabbed me around the neck and I gasped. Throwing me to the floor, he kicked me hard in the stomach and walked over to his desk.

He reached into the drawer with the false back and fished around until he pulled out a video camera. Since I was practically disabled at the moment, he calmly flicked it on and began to set it up on his desk. I started crawling as fast as I could towards the door, which he had forgotten to lock, but he caught me and pulled me up. "Now, now...just behave and it will be over soon. He dragged me all the way back to the desk and shoved me onto it, the surface pretty much clear since he had thrown me onto it last time. He clenched his hands to my shoulders and held me to the desk. I kicked and flailed, but the man was much stronger than he appeared to be.

And then it occured to me to scream. I opened my mouth, but the glint in my eyes must have alerted him, because before I could get a sound out, his hand was pressing down harshly on my throat, choking off the air. "Ah ah ah..." he waggled a finger at me, his face bright red and a slight sheen of sweat starting to form on his forhead. "Inside voices, please." He chuckled. I couldn't breath. Obviously, he was waiting for me to pass out. Probably so he could drug me. I dragged my hands up to his arm and tried to claw at them through his suit. He laughed heartily, it obviously having no effect through the thick fabric. "You fight like a girl." He said through gritted teeth, holding me even harder. I would have laughed if it had been under different circumstances.

My vision was starting to cloud black around the edges. I had to think fast. Unfortunately, I already was and I'm not very good at it. _"Scream! No, that won't work. Kick, thrash, bite, claw, squirm!" _None of my ideas were working. And then...I had one of those rare moments of brilliance. And, as it happens every time, it was almost too late. I dropped limp. I let all my limbs flop down onto the desk, and my eyes flutter closed. Playing possum...works everytime. I felt his had unclench from my aching throat, and sucked in a breath as calmly as I could, though it almost hurt. Kirk chuckled, and I head him digging in that drawer of his again. Now was my chance.

I flung my eyes open to see him bending over, facing away from me, shoulder deep in the big drawer. I lashed my foot out and struck him hard in the back with it. He jolted forward and tried to catch himself on the desk, but lost his grip and fell on his hands and knees. I didn't wait for him to recover like every girl does in the movies. Instead, I rolled off the desk and started to run as fast as I could towards the door, though I was a little dizzy. I made it to the doorway and almost jumped for joy, the feeling of relief was so strong. Surely once I got out of the office, someone would hear our grappling and come to the rescue.

But, I felt cruel arms wrap around my middle. I tipped over and suddenly I was lying on my stomach on the ground, Kirk's hands wrapped around my slim ankles. "Not getting away quite so easily, you little trickster. Naughty, naughty..." And he pulled me back into the room by my ankles, my fingernails clawing at the carpet and trying to pull myself forward. When I was fully back in the room, he heaved me up and shoved me against a wall. I started thrashing wildly again, but I was just so weak. I have no muscle whatsoever! He forced my chin up, and squeezed my jaw open. Then he dumped the contents of a tiny green bottle into my gaping mouth, and clamped it shut and pinched my nose so that I would be forced to swallow.

It tasted bitter and left a horrible aftertaste once it went down. I felt the effects immediately. Swaying, legs like jello, droopy eyes and the feeling of drifting away. He caught me as I started to tip over towards the ground and held me up, starting to drag me back towards the desk. Unable to do anything, and blacking out, I began to cry. And then everything fizzed out.

* * *

I could hear muffled voices, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. All the noises were blending into a dull sort of thrum, and I could feel the vibrations through the floor. I tried to drag my eyelids open, but only managed to get a flash of bright, white lights before they slipped closed again. I felt hands on my shoulders now, and tried to roll towards them. Now I could hear a louder voice, and make out what it was saying.

"Woah...easy there. It's okay. Mas-I mean Blair...can you hear me? Blair?" And now a face was coming into view. A pair of dorky glasses loomed in my sight.

"Mikey?" I muttered, confused. The figure stood up.

"Yeah, it's me...How're ya doing?" I blinked a couple of times, and the room was suddenly clear as crystal. It was undoubtedly a hospital room. It had that strange tart demeanor about it that doesn't reside anywhere else. A glass of water was suddenly in front of me. I looked up to Frankie, holding it out. My eyebrows raised. His eyes narrowed.

"Hesphalumtidus Syndrome Disease?" he said pointedly. I looked down at my feet sheepishly. "What a crock of shit." He set the glass down on a bedside table and laughed dryly. "That is by far the stupidist thing I have ever fallen for. Besides when I was eight and I asked my mom where babies came from. She said Ebay, and I went on the next day and tried to buy myself a baby brother." He chuckled and sank down into a chair. The others were there as well. Ray was leaning stoicly against the wall, Bob was sitting down with an expression of shock on his face. Even T.J. was perched nervously on the arm of a chair. Gerard was nowhere in sight.

"So...I'm guessing everybody knows then?" I said, sighing. Looking down at myself, I realized that I was clad in one of those breezy hospital gowns and my underwear. I wrapped the sheets tighter around my torso.

"Well...if you're talking about the fact that you're a girl, then yeah...we might've heard a little bit about that. But...if you have some other big secret, we have no clue." Frank rattled off sarcastically. He didn't really seem mad about this, just more trying to make as light of it as he possibly could. I knew that inside he was having a spaz attack. The others seemed to be having remotely the same reaction. Bob looked completely out of it, though. Like a five year old that had just been told Santa wasn't real. T.J. seemed to be trying to stay out of the drama as much as possible. He looked shifty. And of course...Ray was cool as a cucumber as always.

" Yeah...about that..." I murmured, not really sure where to begin. Ray piped up to save me the trouble.

"It's alright, Mikey already filled us in on the gory details. You came here as a favor to a friend so she could get an article for the paper. Must be one hell of a friend if you're willing to go through all this for her." I grinned widely.

"Yeah...she's something alright. Bob, are you okay?" He was still staring at me with that same wide-eyed expression. Something told me he wasn't quite able to wrap his head around the revelation.

"I-I can't believe you have boobs. All this time...you've had boobs, and I never even noticed. You think I would notice if one of my friends had boobs!" We all stared at him, and the room fell silent.

"Awkward!" Frankie said to break the silence. We all laughed tentatively. I looked around the room, and once again noticed the one major abscence.

"Where's Gerard?" I asked. Everyone was instantly silent again. Uh oh...that couldn't be good... "Guys?" I pressed.

"He's...um...I think he's down in the lobby right now, hunting for some coffee." Mikey said, trying to sound nonchalant. I glared at him. "Well...I mean, he saved you and all. I think he just needs a break at the moment." My eyes went wide. I had almost completely forgotten about why I was hear in the first place. I gasped.

"Oh my god! He got to me in time, right? Kirk didn't-He didn't!" I felt like I was about to start hyperventilating. They all shook their heads. I let out a great sigh of relief. "Thank Ghandi! What happened to him anyways? Please tell me that pervert is sitting in jail tonight." Frankie grinned.

"Oh you betcha...police found his little stash and everything. The whole school's talking about it, and two more kids came forward and said they'd been violated by him. Ha! What an asswipe!" This instilled a little peace in my heart. Justice had been served. And Maggie would get her scoop alright. Everything had pretty much gone as planned. (Except that I had almost gotten raped, and everyone found out my secret...) So why did something feel off. Why was there a piece of the puzzle missing.

"I'm sorry, you guys!" I suddenly blurted. "I really didn't mean for anything to go this far. I was just supposed to get in, do my job and get out. I was never supposed to get all buddy-buddy with anybody. But...But you guys were all so awesome, and I-I feel terrible, but this has been one of the best weeks of my life. And I know I lied to you, and you'll probably never trust me, but thank you guys for being such good friends. I don't deserve it." I looked down at my bare feet again, protruding from under the sheets. They were cold and pale like the rest of me at the moment.

I looked up, and saw the group exchange a glance. There was a moment of tense silence, and suddenly...

"Aw...it's okay."

"Yeah, we had an awesome week too."

"Totally cool! But...I still can't believe you have boobs." We all laughed at this last comment, and it felt a bit like old times. But there was one thing missing.

"Hey, I'm gonna go find Gerard and say thanks, too." I grinned at the thought of seeing him again, and hopped off the bed. Then I noticed no one was grinning smiling or laughing anymore. I cast a puzzled glance around the room, confused by the abrupt change in environment. "What? What's wrong?" It looked to me like no one wanted to answer. I grew more confused.

"Umm..well, Gerard might not have taken it as...well...as we did." Mikey said hesitantly. I raised my eyebrows. "I mean...well...he didn't take it very well at all, actually." Oh...The sentence stuck with me. I felt it click into place. He was mad at me. That's what they were all trying so hard to sugar-coat.

"Well...I'm sure once I explain it all to him, he might feel a little better..." I said hopefully, looking anxiously around. I saw several of the guys bite their lips and exchange glances. "What? You don't think so?" I prodded. No one said anything. "Well...I guess I'll just have to wait and see then." And I stalked out of the room, determined that everything would work out fine. Because there had to be some justice in life...Didn't there?

* * *

He was sitting at a table, his back to me with a steaming cup of black coffee perched on the table and the local newspaper in front of him. I was in the lobby of the hospital with nothing on but the little hospital gown and my underwear. And frankly, I didn't really give a damn. People could stare all they wanted, but I had more important things on my mind than what random strangers were thinking about me. I walked up quietly to stand behind him. I got the feeling that he knew I was there, but didn't want to acknowlege it. He continued to pour over the paper. Since it was open to an article about refurbishing your house for less money, I highly doubted he was really reading.

"Hey..." I said awkwardly, he nodded, but that was the only indication I got that he had heard me. "So...planning on refurbishing the old dorm room anytime soon?" He didn't even remotely respond this time. I felt a tap on my shoulder. A tiny lady with a walker and big glasses was standing there.

"I think he might be deaf, sweetheart." she said informatively.

"Yeah, I wish..." I muttered, walking away to sit down in the chair on the other side of the small table. He didn't look up, but at least he didn't move away. I sat quietly, watching him stare blankly at the paper. Finally, his gaze met mine.

"So...it's true?" he said, not needing to specify. I bit my lip. He took that as a yes and nodded, looking more than a little put off. I sighed.

"Gerard...let me explain-"

"No...Mikey already explained everything to me. And you know what? It doesn't change a damn thing. You lied to me. You lied to all of us." He looked at me with a bitingly angry expression that made me recoil slightly. I didn't like to see all the anger in those hazel eyes.

"I-I know I did, and I'm sorry..." He laughed in the middle of my sentence. It caught me off guard, making me a little irritated with him. "Um...excuse me...nothing about this is funny. I'm making a sincere apology." He stood up abruptly.

"Oh...I'm sure you are. 'Cause...you're very sincere about everything else in life. I can't think of a single time when you haven't been completely and totally honest with me." The sarcasm stung, but I knew I deserved it. He started to walk away, leaving behind the coffee and paper. I got up too and hurried after him.

"Gerard, please wait! Please, just-" He whirled around. I backed up, startled.

"Just what?" he snapped. "Give you another chance? Why should I?" The question hung in the air for a minute before I got my vocal cords to work again.

"Because...because you're my friend, and I don't want you to leave like this." He dropped his hard expression for a minute, and his eyes looked almost saddened. But he quickly snapped out of it.

"I'm sorry...I don't know anyone named Blair. You must have me confused with someone else. I'm friends with a guy named Mason. Sorry..." And he turned and walked away. I watched him leave. This was it? Everything for this? I sunk down to sit on the edge of a conviniently placed sofa.

"What's wrong with him?" It was the tiny old woman that had spoken to me before. She was sitting comfortably on the couch. I looked down at her.

"Oh...some girl dressed up as a guy and fooled him and a bunch of his friends into thinking she was actually a boy. Acted like his friend the whole time, and never told him anything. Just used him to help her get an artical for a newspaper." I said lightly...

"Ouch..." the woman said, "What a bitch."

"Yeah...tell me about it..."

* * *

**A/N**: Jeese...with all the time it took me to write this chapter, you'd think I converted to become Amish or something, and can't use the computer anymore. (Just to clarify, that did not happen). No, I've just been extremely busy with school and such. I'm sure you'll all get over it. I hope you enjoyed, because I did actually spend alot of time on this.

Next chapter's the final chapter, ladies and gents, and transgenders! So prepare youselves, children! Until then...over and out! (I've always wanted to say that. Over and out...haha)


	13. Bad Poetry Readings in Dairy Queen

**A/N: **OMG! It's the final friggin chapter! I can't believe it went so far...(LOL, someone just drove past my house with Eminem blaring from their speakers... O.o) Anywho...Thank you all for sticking it out with me through thick and thin. I'm working on a fanfic for a book at the moment, and I at least want to get it stabilized, but I will be putting up another fanfiction non-related to any media or shit like that. So basically...an original story that's not really got anything in it that makes is FANfiction, so to speak. Hopefully, it will be good when it rolls around. :D

**P.S. Check out my profile for links to pictures of what I thought Blair, Maggie, and Devon would look like. I can't believe I found such perfect pictures! Unfortunately, my picture that I had for Kirk was taken off the net for some reason. :( But just imagine a creey guy with Elvis type hair, and you've got him down to a T.**

Without further ado, you may now find out how everything turns out in the twists and turns of Blair's final climaxing scenes in my favorite story I've written, to date...Just One of the Guys.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Bad Poetry Readings at Dairy Queen **

**Blair's POV **

_"So, is this really it?" _I thought to myself as I looked around the dorm room I had spent the last four days in. My bed had been stripped of its sheets, and all my stuff was crammed into the one little suitcase I clutched in my hand. I wasn't even dressed in my St. James attire anymore. I had just slipped on a t-shirt and jeans and my pair of black Chucks. As I studied the empty space longer, I could feel a lump forming in my throat, that dull ache you get when you try to supress your tears. Of course, I wasn't doing a very good job at it. I could already feel the salty tears trickling down my cheeks. I heard a rustling noise behind me and turned around. Mikey was leaning against the wall, holding up a roll of familiar bandages.

"I'm guessing these are yours?" he said with a half smile. I wiped my cheeks and stood and stared at him for a long time. Suddenly, I dropped my bag to the floor and practically jumped across the room, enveloping him in a huge hug that knocked him backwards into the wall. He remained motionless for a minute, probably stunned by my sudden attack, and then hugged me back.

"God, I'm gonna miss this place." I muttered into his shoulder. "Everything about it..." I pulled back, wiping my eyes again. "You guys, all the fun stuff we did, even the nasty food. God...you don't even know." He smiled.

"Well, I don't know what else to say other than that school was a hell of a lot more fun with you around. I mean...without you, I never would've met Ray or Frankie, or Bob, probably. It would've just been another boring year of me studying and getting pantsed in gym class." I laughed softly, even though it felt like something was eating a huge hole in my gut.

"I'm glad I made it so fun for you guys, I guess. And...I'm sorry for lying to everyone. I just...I had to keep it a secret, or things wouldn't have worked out the way they did. I probably would've been kicked out, and then Kirk would've just kept on being a sick pervert." I shuddered at the thought of what had happened last night. The hospital had released me, and I had spent a sleepless night in the bunks, thinking about my argument with Gerard. The thing eating my insides started to double time it, punching holes in my chest and anywhere else it could get. My throat was tight, my eyes were straining against tears, and my stomach felt like it was about to fall out of my butt. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I guess I should probably get this over with. Is anyone else gonna say goodbye, or is it just you?" Mikey shuffled a bit nervously, and I began to doubt that anyone would even want to.

"Well, most of the guys are waiting by the front doors to see you off." I knew what he meant by "most of the guys". He meant everyone **BUT** Gerard. I nodded solemnly, and picked up my bags again, prepared to brave through whatever pain I would feel to have to leave it all in the dust.

"'Kay, let's go. I'm ready."

* * *

The simple walk down the stairs and to the front doors of the building was the longest walk I have ever taken in my entire life. My feet felt like lead clunking down the steps. And then I saw everyone, their backs turned away from me, talking by the door. Frankie was the first to turn around. "Hey if it isn't Mikey and our little gender-identity-disordered friend." he said jokingly. I tried to joke back as well, not wanting any of my pessimism to rub off on them. I should just be glad that **ANY** of them came to see me off at all.

I walked straight up to him, set my bags down, smiled sadly. "Are you mad at me?"

"Maybe just a little..." He looked at me for a long moment, and then he suddenly pulled me forward into a hug. "Aww, who am I kidding. Just because you were going by a different name doesn't mean you were a totally different person, right?" I nodded, greatful that he held no grudge against me.

"That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet." Mikey quoted Shakespeare.

"Shut the fuck up, Mikey, you're ruining the moment." Frankie said, still hugging me. When he finally released me, I turned to look at everyone else. Even T.J. was there, but no Gerard. I did my best to brush it off.

"So...is everyone else gonna hug me too, or am I despicable for lying to all of you?" They all exchanged glances, and then shrugged their shoulders, launching forward to pile on top of me in a massive group hug. I was smushed to the floor, burried under the bodies of my new friends, hardly able to breath. "Okay guys!" I wheezed, "I said **HUG**, not pulverize!" Everyone eventually climbed off of me, and Ray hoisted me to my feet like he was lifting a pillow. He dusted me off, and it felt like I was getting punched repeatedly in the back. "Okay, okay...I'm good. Please don't break my spine." I finally had to say, supressing weak laughter as I shook him off. Then, the room fell silent. I cleared my throat awkwardly, and stabbed my toes at the ground, avoiding eye contact.

"So...how exactly are you getting home?" T.J. asked to break the ice. I felt a little relieved that we'd gotten out of the awkward moment, but at the same time, it felt a little wierd to talk about the other life I lived to the people I'd been hanging out with in my fake one.

"Oh, er...my friends should be here any time now. I should probably wait outside, before they decide to come in here. Trust me...we don't need any more trouble to deal with." I chuckled, thinking of seeing Maggie and Devon again. It felt like ages since I'd said hi to them. And then there was my mother and Chris. Well...I wasn't too excited about Chris, to tell you the truth, but it would be nice to see my mom again. I'm not usually the type to get homesick, but it had been a long week and I was half-ready to just lay down on my sofa and watch tv or something. I shrugged into my bag again, and started to walk out to the parking lot to wait for their car to pull up. "So what ended up happening to Kirk?" I asked, plopping down on a parking stone.

"Dunno...the police hauled his ass off last night, though." Frankie informed me, looking too hyped up to sit, and pacing furiously. Mikey and T.J. plopped next to me to share the parking stone, and Ray and Bob stood casually with their hands burried in their pockets. We looked the such a complete picture. (With one big exception, that is...) How could I just dump it all? Did I really want to go back to my normal life at home? Part of me wanted to be Mason forever, and just attend St. James for the rest of my years. If no one had found out, I could've just stayed and Gerard would be here with us, smoking a cigarette and laughing. But then I thought of me, Maggie, and Devon in the Dairy Queen parking lot. And playing Mario on my GameCube, or eating entire package of raw cookie dough and nearly getting salmonella poisoning.

No...that was where I belonged. In my real life, not here pretending to be somebody. I wiped the tears collecting in my eyes, and fought off more by asking a question. "So...what did ya tell everyone about my 'sudden mysterious dissappearance' last night? Did you tell everyone I'd been nearly raped by a freaky pedophile?" I chuckled under my breath, though nothing about the scenario really seemed actually funny. Just more ironic, I guess. Everyone looked at Mikey, who I could see was trying very hard not to meet my eyes. "What?" I could feel a hint of suspicion tingling in me now. Things were never good when everybody glared at Mikey.

"Well...that's not quite **EXACTLY** what I said..." he mumbled. I groaned loudly and looked at the others' faces, which only confirmed my fears that he'd either said something really humiliating or really stupid.

"Oh god...What did you tell them?" I was almost afraid to ask. But you know what they say...Curiosity killed the crossdresser. Or...something like that, anyway.

"Well...I may have hinted **SLIGHTLY** that it had something to do with a certain medical condition that was previously mentioned a couple days ago." It took me a minute to understand what he was talking about. At first, I was extremely confused, but then it clicked into place.

**"You told them I had Hesphalumtidus Syndrome Disease?" **Mikey cringed away as I cried out at the news of his sheer idiocy. "Who the hell would believe that?" He took off his glasses timidly, and started wiping them on his shirt, doing his best to avoid the question. "Mikey!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry, okay! It was the first thing that popped into my head. All I said was that you had the disease, and that the ambulance was there because you'd had an attack, or something. And then I told them that you wouldn't be able to come back because they were moving you to this specialist hopsital in Sweden." I gaped at him, wondering if he had been dropped down a flight of stairs as an infant.

"And they believed you? They honestly believed that I was being moved to Sweden because of a disease that sounds like something out of Winnie the Pooh?" I was positively incredulous. I don't care what they say about the kids here being above average academically. The kids at St. James were a bunch of dumb asses.

"Hey, I believed it." Frankie piped up, obviously hoping to calm the storm. "And it's not like they're ever going to see you again." At this, Bob suddenly let out a sob. We all turned to face him in shock, not having really been paying attention to him before because he was so quiet. "Are you crying, Bob?" Frankie sounded nervous, almost as if he didn't know what to do.

"Well, it's just what you said!" Bob cried. "Are **WE** ever gonna see you again?" Sympathy suddenly filled me. I knew he was feeling the same pain that I was. The worry that he would have to say goodbye to a good friend. The kind of pain you feel when your goldfish dies after two days of having it. I jumped up to run over and hug him.

"Oh, Bob, it's okay! Don't worry, I'll find some way to see you guys again." I severely hoped so. I had to at least try to convince myself that everything would work out in the end like it does in all the movies. Without doing so, I wasn't sure I would be able to cope with leaving. I pulled back and turned to face the whole group. "You guys, this was probably one of the funnest weeks of my life. Never, have I ever scavenged for food, turned a secret library into a headquarters, and unleashed bats on an asshole in the same week. I'm never gonna forget you guys." They all looked at me, and I think I even saw Ray wiping something from his eye.

"That was the cheesiest thing I have ever heard in my life." Frankie said, fake sniffling. "That was awesome!" And we all group hugged again, this time without endangering my life. I clung to everyone like they were my life line, and if not for the sound of a horn honking, I'm not sure I would've ever let go. Maggie and Devon had just pulled into the parking lot in Devon's beat up truck. Maggie rolled down her window, her red hair blowing out in the slight breeze.

"Well, I'm glad to see you weren't a total loser here, but if you don't hurry up, we're leaving you here and going to Dairy Queen by ourselves." Everyone stood still and watched as the car cruised right up to the curb.

"Woah...who's that?" T.J. asked me under his breath, staring at Maggie with bugging eyes, his cheeks turning red.

"Guys, this is Maggie and Devon, my two best friends. Maggie, Devon...these are the guys. Mikey, Frankie, Bob, Ray, Ger-...and T.J." I finished a bit awkwardly, so used to Gerard's name slipping in with the others. I swallowed down a lump in my throat, and pushed my hair out of my eyes. "I guess it's time to go, huh?"

"Hell yeah." Devon spoke up from the driver's seat. "Do you know how many times your mom's called Maggie today, asking her when you guys'll be home?"

"Yeah...'cause apparently **SOMEONE** turned her friggen cell phone off." Maggie gave me the evil eye, and I glared right back.

"Maggie, I put up with four days disguised as a boy. I think you can put up with one or two concerned phone calls." I opened the side door and flung my bag in.

"Yeah, more like ten..." I heard her mutter. I rolled my eyes, and turned to face the guys one last time. They were all waiting expectantly on the curb in a sloppy line. I cleared my throat.

"Do I have time to make a short speech?" I asked Maggie, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. She gave a heavy sigh but nodded, putting on a pair of sunglasses and leaning her head back against the seat.

"Wake me up when it's done." I rolled my eyes again. Some things never change.

"Thank you guys so much...I don't know what I would've done here if not for you. Probably locked in the basement by Kirk and raped." I saw Maggie and Devon raise their eyebrows in my peripheral vision. I suppose I'm going to have to explain the situation to them in a minute. "But you guys are all awesome, and I hope I'll see you all again soon." They all nodded, and I felt choked up again. "Okay...I guess this is goodbye for now then." And with watery eyes, I climbed into the back seat next to my bags and shut the door, rolling my window down. All six of them were beaming at me. As Devon started to pull away, they ran after us in the parking lot, yelling goodbyes.

"Bye, Blair!"

"See ya soon!"

"I still can't believe you have boobs!" You can guess who that last comment came from. I waved back ferociously.

"Stay out of trouble, you guys!" I yelled, grinning with a rush of exhileration at all of them running crazily behind us.

"Yeah right!" They all shouted in unison. We pulled around, and soon St. James dissappeared behind a wall of tress on the road leading back into town. But right before we pulled out, I could've sworn I saw a figure with raven black hair vanish behind a curtain of a window on the second floor.

* * *

The whole ride down, I carefully explained each detail of my stay at St. James, and then I explained the whole Kirk ordeal. "Oh my God, he was a pedophile!" Maggie cried, sounding almost pleased with my dramatic discovery.

"Or something like that." I told her. "Either way, he was illegally making sex tapes with drugged minors. His ass is going to jail." Devon chuckled.

"I can't believe you almost got raped." He laughed.

"Oh yeah...haha, real funny." I said sarcastically, but then I started to laugh, myself. "So what did you guys do the whole time I was gone?" They exchanged a knowing look and grinned.

"Oh nothing really." Maggie said, smiling. I was very suspicious of their behavior, but she cut in before I could ask any questions. "But anyways...now I can write my article! Woooh! This will make for such an interesting piece! I can't wait. Maybe they'll even put it in the TOWN newspaper!"

"Yeah, it better be the best fucking article anyone's ever written, after all the trouble I went through to get the info for you." I grumbled. Pretty soon, my house slid into view. I could see Chris playing outside on the basketball hoop with one of his perverted little friends. I hopped out of the car eagerly, grabbing my bags and running up to him. I squashed him into one of those unexpected older sister hugs.

"Ew, Blair! What are you doing?" he yelped, trying with all his might to pull away.

"Oh, I've missed you!" I said, doing my very best to embarrass him in front of his friend, who leaning agains the pole, cracking up. Chris finally looked up at me.

"What did you do to your hair?" Oh, my hair! I'd totally forgotten that I'd had to change it.

"Maggie, we're going to the hair place later today, and you're paying for my hair dye like you promised!" I called to her as she stepped out of the car, popping a giant bubble gum bubble she'd been smacking on.

"What's the matter, don't you like how I did it?" she sounded a little hurt, but only a tad.

"Well...it's not that I don't like it. It's just not...me." I said. The black and red was Mason's thing, not Blair's. Maggie shrugged and agreed that she thought the multicolor suited me better anyways.

"Blair!" A shrill voice suddenly sounded from the porch. My mother was running towards me, her hair pulled back in a messy pony, an apron around her waist. She was cooking something at an appropriate time. Something was wrong...She pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, engulfing me in a cloud of flour that puffed off her apron when she slammed into me. I coughed and wheezed, trying to get it out of my lungs and eyes while she strangled me. "Oh honey, you have no idea how much I missed you while you were gone! I'd wake up every morning, and think you were going to be downstairs, and then you weren't." She hugged me tighter, and I think I died for a minute with the force. When she finally released me, my upper half felt numb.

"I missed you too." I grinned at her smiling face. "What are you doing cooking at a normal time of the day?" I was extremely puzzled by this.

"Oh, I was just making a little lunch for you guys, 'cause I was so excited about you getting back. I figured you'd be hungry." At that moment, my stomach growled loudly. I realized that I had been so nervous this morning about leaving, that I hadn't eaten anything for breakfast. It was nearing eleven o' clock now.

"Food?" I asked tentatively. My mother nodded, looking at me in a slightly concerned way. "Oh, I haven't eaten properly edible food in so long!" I immediately dashed to the door, recalling the days I'd spent wondering if I could build a house out of the rock hard bread, or if my cat would die if I fed it the chicken they served at St. James. Entering the kitchen, I saw the table was set with plates of wonderful food. I sat down at my usual spot and dug in. It was a simple lunch, but it tasted like the best I'd ever eaten for some reason. Just a roast beef sandwich, an apple, some chips, and a chocolate pudding, but it tasted like food of the gods. Maggie, Devon, my mom, and Chris and his friend all eventually joined me at the table to eat. It almost felt like things were back to normal. I tried to steal Maggie's pudding and she through a chip at me. Devon spilled diet Coke all over his lap, and we all laughed until our sides hurt because it looked like he'd wet himself.

"So, did you girls do anything weird out at the cabin? No crazy parties, I hope." My mom joked, nibbling at her apple. Me Maggie and Devon all looked at eachother.

"Umm...not really anything too interesting, really, Mrs. H." Maggie said, trying to sound casual. "Just kinda...hung out...ate...slept."

"Yeah, Mom...nothing huge. We...went to get my hair done, as you can see." I pointed to my black and red do, and looked around awkwardly, trying to end the conversation. My mom studied the two of us for a long moment.

"Do I want to know what you two really did while you were up there?" she asked knowingly.

"No, not really." We all said at the same time. My mom raised her eyebrows, but then shrugged, resuming her eating. I let out a sigh of relief, glad that that battle was over.

"Mmm..." My mom swallowed a large bite of sandwich, trying to speak. "That reminds me, though...I saw something really wierd on the news today." She wiped her mouth. "Some kids at a school called St. James started this charity group to raise money for this really weird sounding disease. Hesphalumtidus Syndrome, or something like that. Apparently, one of their former students had it. They're having a fundraiser this weekend. Weird huh?" I almost choked on a chip, but turned into a cough, and acted like what she was telling me was all news to me.

"Oh...yeah, wierd. I've never heard of that before." In my head, I was cursing Mikey for being so stupid.

"Isn't St. James that school Maggie had to interview the headmaster at for that article she was working on?" My mom pressed. I looked at Maggie out of the corner of my eye.

"No...nope. We went to St. John's." she quickly covered. I sighed again. Thank God she was such a good liar. I cleaned my plate and then hopped up, dusting the crumbs off of my shirt.

"What, are you leaving already?" My mom asked, smiling.

"It's the last day of summer, Mom. We plan on taking advantage of it. Besides...Maggie's taking me to get my hair dyed back. Isn't that right Maggie?" I grinned mischeviously at her.

"Well, that's nice of you, Maggie." When my mom wasn't looking, she stuck her tongue out at me. "Just be back before dark." I nodded, and then rushed out to Devon's truck again. Maggie looked reluctant, coming down the driveway.

"Hey, you promised..." I told her matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, yeah...now shut up before I change my mind about being a good friend." Ahh...things were finally starting to fall back into place.

* * *

"You like it?" I was staring at myself in the rearview mirror, my hair back to it's usual multicolored mess. I ran my fingers through in and grinned. Mason had bitten the dust. It was all Blair all the time, now.

"I love it." I told Maggie. She'd done just what she'd promised and payed for the whole procedure. Now we were cruising to Dairy Queen, ready for one last treat before the school year began. Er...well...began **AGAIN**, in my case. "So, what did you guys really do while I was gone?" I remembered the question I'd been meaning to ask them on the car ride home. But their answers were just as useless and vacant as ever. Lot's of "nothing really"s and "oh...not much"es. I was beginning to get a little fed up with the pair of them.

"Come on, you guys, I'm not an idiot. What are you hiding from me?" Maggie giggled.

"You really wanna know?"

"No, I'm just asking so I don't find out." I retorted sarcastically.

"Okay...just try not to wet yourself." I was extremely confused as she pulled out a piece of folded up paper in the back of her pocket. Devon pulled into the parking space, but I waited patiently in my seat as she handed me the paper, grinning more widely than ever. I unfolded cautiously, wondering what on Earth it could be.

**Blair,  
I know I'm more than a bit of trouble,  
I eat your food and invade your bubble,  
I stole your crayons in the second grade,  
It was me who put that bubble gum in your braid,  
I puked on your carpet at midnight on Christmas,  
Then blamed it on your dog, 'cause I wanted my presents,  
And now I feel awful, I feel like a ho,  
For everything that I've put you through, **

"Maggie, this is the worst piece of shit I've ever read. What the hell is this?"

"Oh, just keep reading it. It gets better." I sighed reluctantly and returned to reading her attempt at poetry. I'm not even sure it could be considered an attempt.

**So, to say I'm sorry...I wanted to get you something you could really use,  
Which is why I went online and bought us tickets for Muse **

**xoxo,  
Magpie **

My jaw dropped. "Oh my God...Oh my God...OH MY GOD!" I was stunned. It felt like I'd just taken a shot of caffein. I wrenched open the door and ran to Maggie's door. I threw it open, and pulled her out, acting like my mother and crushing her lungs in a hug. "Oh my God, Maggie! This is the best thank you gift ever!" I couldn't believe it. My first Muse concert! I was actually trying very hard to follow Maggie's instructions not to wet myself. "Oh god, thank you, thank you, thank you!" I was jumping around the parking lot like a psycho, and people were beginning to stare. Frankly, I didn't give a damn.

"Well, you're welcome." Maggie said, looking satisfied with my excitement. "I told you I'd make it up to you, didn't I?"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't think it would actually be anything GOOD! I just thought you were going to...go a week without slapping my ass or something. Or let me win at MarioKart for a month. I never thought it was going to be Muse tickets!"

"Hey...watch your mouth...I can send those tickets back just as easily as I got them." she warned. I was too excited though."Now...Medium, chocolate, chocolate-dipped cone, here I come!" Maggie cried. This was her favorite item on the menu. Devon instantly agreed that he was in the mood for his usual, a cookie dough blizzard. When I managed to calm myself down to an acceptable state (wich took about ten minutes), I decided to try something new.

"I think I'll have a mocha blizzard." I said, thinking of this week's coffee shenanigans. Both of my friend's looked at me, clearly puzzled by my choice.

"Since when do you like coffee?" Devon asked incredulously.

"Oh...it's kinda grown on me this week." Besides...I needed one last thing to remember him by before I attempted to drive him out of my mind completely. If he had no interest in ever seeing me again, then the best thing to do would be to just forget all about him. Or at least as much of him as I could. But I needed this one thing to sort of...salute him, in a way. He had every right to be angry with me afterall, and it wasn't really his fault. We stepped into the chill restaurant, and got into the long line that led up to the counter. Obviously, everyone else in town had decided to take advantage of the last day of summer as well. We were bound to be waiting in line for fifteen minutes, maybe more if the workers were slow-paced. We tried to pass the time by coming up with ideas for Maggie's article. We were puzzling over this when Devon said something unexpected.

"Woah...that guy's ass is really attractive." Okay...maybe it wasn't the most unexpected thing to come out of his mouth, but it was certainly out of the blue, even for him. I turned to see which poor guy he was talking about now. Actually, there were two of them. The one he was talking about was wearing some sort of casual dress pants.

"Yeah...not bad..." I agreed lightly. "I feel like I've seen those pants before, though. Maybe in a magazine or at the mall, or something." I couldn't quite put my finger on where I had last seen them. And then I had somewhat of a miniature flashback. Waking up on Gerard's leg after Dawn of the Dead. And then I noticed the familiar blazer and the raven black hair. "Holy shit..." I mumbled, hardly daring to believe my eyes. "Gerard?" I said, stepping out of line. He turned around. I was instantly caught up in his sparkling hazel eyes. So caught up, in fact, I didn't even think about what an odd coincidence it was that he had shown up in this particular Dairy Queen at exactly the right moment. "What are you..." I couldn't even finish my sentence. Mikey was standing next to him, looking back and forth between us.

The door behind them opened, and the rest of them came in. They all stared at me and Gerard's little confrontation. "It's me..." I said quietly.

"Blair?" The word slipped out of his mouth like water out of a glass. Suddenly and without warning. Mikey's eyes went wide.

"Blair? Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you! You dyed your hair!" Oh yeah...that might've been weird. I laughed a little and turned to him.

"Yeah, I guess I did. This is how I usually wear it, though, so..." And then the strangeness of the situation occured to me. "What're you guys doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course." Frankie piped up.

"How'd you know I would be here?" I didn't recall telling them where we planned on heading.

"We've been waiting for an hour because this is where your friend said you'd be." Gerard was looking at me like he had never seen me before. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I wasn't sure if he would listen. Mikey seemed to pick up on some of the tension, and started to direct everyone towards the line.

"Allright, let's go order, huh? I'm in the mood for a banana split." It was now just me and Gerard standing in the middle of the crowded Dairy Queen. After a long time of neither of us saying anything, I knew that it was now or never. The worst he could do would be to tell me to go away. I walked up to him as calmly as I could manage and took a deep breath, extending my hand to him.

"Hi...I'm Blair Hunter. What's your name?" Kindergarten style hadn't failed me yet. But I began to have doubts about its effectiveness when he stood there and stared at my hand for a long time. I was about to pull in back and give up, when he suddenly grasped it tightly in his fingers. I looked up and he was grinning at me. That special Gerard grin that made me weak in the knees. (Not that I would ever admit that to him.)

"Gerard Way. It's nice to meet you Blair. Would you care to join me at my table?" He gave a fake little bow and I curtsied right back.

"But of course, kind sir...I'm just going to order first." We both burst out laughing at our ridiculous antics. The line lasted not nearly as long as we thought it would, and it flew by in a matter of minutes. Or maybe it only seemed that way because I was joking around with Gerard and the rest of them. We were just about up the counter, when I noticed T.J. staring at Maggie and blushing. I snickered under my breath. "Her name's Maggie." I whispered in his ear, making him jump. "I think you'd really like her." He looked at me with wild eyes, begging for help. "Go on...ask her to sit with you." I urged. He sucked in a huge breath and tapped her on the shoulder. I stepped back to watch as she turned around, looking a little confused.

"Ummm...h-hey. I'm Maggie-I mean, I'm T.J...you're Maggie." I fought with all my might not to laugh and embarrass him. "Listen...I was wondering...if maybe, when you're done ordering and stuff...Maybe, you'd wanna...sit? With me?" He looked at her expectantly, and I saw no change in Maggie's expression. I gulped. She wouldn't be a coldhearted bitch to poor little T.J., now would she?

"Woah...not so fast, boy." she said saucily. I almost groaned. Was she really going to crush him like this? But then she grinned. "First you gotta by me a drink. Or in this case...a medium chocolate, chocolate-dipped cone." T.J. looked incredibly relieved, as did I.

"Sure thing!" he said hurriedly, pulling out a five dollar bill. Maggie winked at me over his shoulder and I shook my head. Oh Maggie...Maggie, Maggie, Maggie...

"Hey...I'm Devon." I heard behind me. He had slid in seductively next to Frankie, who turned to him with a curious expression.

"Frank..." was all he said. Devon smirked.

"So...you wanna grab a table or something?" I facepalmed and Gerard snorted.

"Sorry, man...I don't swing that way." Frankie said. Devon looked suddenly down, a small "oh..." slipping from his lips. But Frankie smiled at him. "But I have a few friends that do. I can introduce you, if you want, sometime." Devon's entire face lit up.

"Really?"

"Yeah really...Here...I think I've got some pictures on my phone." Well...who would've thought. It looked like my original friends were mixing well with my new friends. However wierd that seemed...We finally got up to the counter. Gerard ordered some coffee drink, and I pondered that for a minute. Aww, who am I kidding...I hate coffee. Oreo blizzard all the way! When we had our drinks, we followed the others to the tables outside, and plopped down near the one the others were sitting at. They were all too wrapped up in what they were doing to notice we were just slightly separated from them so we could talk. Either that or they were politely ignoring the fact. We sipped in silence, and then I spoke up again.

"So...why'd you decide to come see me? Or were you forced into this?" I asked, kinda hoping it was the first option. I didn't like the thought that he had been dragged here, reluctant to see me, and was just doing this to appease Mikey, or something. But Gerard shook his head.

"Naw...I decided to come find you. I was thinking about what you said last night at the hospital, and how you were right. Just because you had a different name, doesn't mean you were a totally different person. You're Blair either way..." I shook my head this time.

"No, you were right to get mad at me the way you did. I deserved it after lying to you all that time. It's probably the lowest thing I've ever done."

"No, I totally overreacted. All that stuff I said...I didn't mean it, I was just upset." We were going back and forth, arguing about who was right. I laughed at this.

"Okay, okay...let's just face it. We both did some bad stuff to eachother. What do you say we just start over?" There was a brief minute of silence.

"Well...it's gonna take awhile for you to earn your trust back." Gerard started.

"Oh, of course." I was eager to put everything behind us. I'm pretty sure he could've said that he wanted me to pay him a million dollars, and I would've agreed.

"But, yeah...I guess we can start all over." We both smiled, and ate for a little bit more in silence. Then he spoke again. "You wanna know how I knew it was the right decision to come and try to fix things?" I shook my head, wondering what he was getting at. "We passed a Starbucks on the way here...And I didn't go in because I was afraid I would miss you." I pretended to be amazed.

"Oh wow...what an amazing feat. I can't believe you passes up **STARBUCKS** for me!" I giggled, wondering if everything was going back to normal now.

"Yeah, but I didn't." Mikey was suddenly behind me, proudly holding up a plastic cup of some sort of coffee drink with a mountain of whipped cream on it. The cup was labeled with the Starbucks logo. "Sorry, Blair...not even you can outmatch the undeniable goodness of heavily sugared coffee drinks at an overly expensive price." He took a long sip, looking right at Gerard. "Damn that is good!"

"Why you little bitch..." Gerard hopped up from the table, and Mikey took off running, trying desperately not to spill his drink. "Get back here, asshole, and gimme some of that coffee!" I laughed and shook my head, taking a bite of my blizzard as I watched them run crazily around the parking lot.

Maybe things were going slightly back to normal...But with a few caffeinated twists. ;)

* * *

**A/N: **I'm wiping tears of joy from my eyes. It's done. Es finite. Everything that I built up for...Sigh...that was so much fun. I REALLY, REALLY enjoyed writing this. You guys have no idea. And I have some of THE best reviewers on earth. You guys are awesome. I love you all so much. Without you, I would not have had nearly as much fun as I did. Thanks so much for reading, and messaging me, and giving me all the encouragement you guys did. I hope this last chapter lives up to your expectations. I'll see ya soon, guys.

**Again...if you didn't read the top memo, links to pictures of Blair, Maggie, and Devon are in my Profile under the heading Links for My Stories. Go ahead and check um out. I found really good pics. :D **

**xoxo,  
MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear **

**SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT!**


	14. Author's Note: The Prophecy Is Fulfilled

**A/N: **I just have a few things to say and then you can scream and jump up and down in joy. Why? Well...

**THE SEQUEL IS UP! **

****Seriously, it is. Go check it out. Go into my stories and click on the story titled 'Crowned and Dangerous' Yup...yup. Why is it called that? Well, I guess you'll just have to read it and find out. Winkety wink. ;D

xoxo,  
MurderingxMyxTeddyxBear


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